Takes

The NBA first round should return to five-game series

I honestly think they should go back to the five games in the first round. The five-game series just felt more like every game means so much. And if you can win one game, it's like, ooh, maybe they can actually pull this off.

The first round of the NBA playoffs is terrible

I hate the NBA playoffs first round. So we'll talk about that.

The Warriors' 73-win record means nothing if they don't win the championship

My thing is, the record, in my opinion, doesn't mean much if they don't win the championship. I think it's one of those things where they have to do both to be recognized as one of the best teams ever because they're both 72 and 10 team won the championship. And if they don't, then I just don't think they're on the same level.

The NBA will lose its man card if they go to more than one ad on their jerseys

I'm going to take the NBA's man card once they start throwing these. If they go to more than one ad on their jerseys, man card time.

LeBron James' Zero Dark 30-23 playoff social media blackout is really stupid

LeBron is so dumb. It's Zero Dark 30-23... Not Zero Dark 23. It's Zero Dark Thirty. So it's the full movie name. Twenty three. And it really goes back to the biggest weakness LeBron has is no one in his circle has like any brain to say, hey, LeBron, this is really fucking stupid.

Kobe Bryant has given people more false confidence than Adolf Hitler

He's trapped a lot of really weak-minded people into believing that if you go around all the time and act like you're the shit... then you're going to be the best person in whatever field that you've chosen. So he's given a lot of false confidence to people, probably more false confidence to people than Adolf Hitler, I would say.

The 1996 Bulls would beat the 2016 Warriors because modern NBA rules don't allow defense

I got to take the bulls because when the bulls played, I don't know if you know this or not, but nowadays you're not allowed to play defense in the NBA. I've heard a lot of people say that recently and they've said it so much that I'm starting to agree with it.

Kobe Bryant had the best left-handed shot in the NBA

Kobe's like, I'm the best left-handed, the best left-handed... Do you remember when he broke his finger? Okay, so he breaks his finger in the game, doesn't check out. His line that night was like 18 and something with just one hand. He literally played with one hand... He looks over and goes, Amo, like what? He goes, I told you I had the best fucking left hand in the league.

The 'other bracket' guy is the worst person during March Madness

I'm power ranking. Other bracket guy is number one is the worst... The guy who always he'll always chime in whenever there's a big upset. But he'll like have one bracket in his hand... 'I don't have that upset here. I just have it on my other bracket.' This like elusive other bracket that no one knows about.