PMT DB
PMT DB
Mike Florio on NFL Draft Secrets and Surviving Over-30 Hangovers
Big Cat is currently in the trenches. Coming off a three-day bachelor party in San Diego, he’s realizing that once you cross the threshold of 30, hangovers aren't just a headache—they’re a spiritual crisis. He’s convinced that San Diego isn't a real place because nobody has a job, nobody is out of shape, and there are no sports on TV after 9:00 PM.
Big CatSan Diego is 'fake life' and not real life
San Diego is fake life. It's not real life. There's nothing real about San Diego. There are no fat people. I'm pretty sure no one has a job except if you're in the Navy. It's beautiful every single day. Everyone's just relaxed and like cool. There's no edge.
Because the city is such a paradise, Big Cat and PFT have decided that the fans there don't actually deserve the Chargers. If you live in a place where it’s 75 and sunny every day, having a professional football team is just greedy.
Big CatThe Chargers should leave San Diego because fans living in paradise don't deserve a team
Just don't – I don't ever want to hear any San Diego fan ever tell me, like, we had a bad loss or boo-hoo, the Chargers are moving. You live in paradise. You don't deserve other things. You have the paradise to live with... I want you to lose the Chargers now.
Bachelor Party Strategy and the Hangover Crawl
The survival tactics for hangovers have evolved. PFT is still a big believer in the "hair of the dog" method, though he’s looking to scale that into a legitimate business model. He’s pitching a "Hangover Crawl" that includes Pedialyte cocktails, IV drips, and a dark movie theater where everyone can just pass out for 90 minutes.
PFT CommenterA 'Hangover Crawl' starting with Pedialyte cocktails and ending in a movie theater would be a million-dollar business
I think it can make a million bucks. We start a hangover crawl, which is like a 1 o'clock meetup... You start out with Pedialyte cocktails, a Bloody Mary. You move on to like a Klonopin bar, some margaritas. Then you go to like a movie theater where you play a boring movie, let people pass out for 90 minutes. Give them an IV... I think that's key.
When it comes to the bachelor party itself, Big Cat has one golden rule: kill the group dinner. Nothing zaps the energy out of a weekend like sitting through a two-hour steak dinner on a Saturday night when you could be day drinking or, ideally, visiting a botanical garden to quiet the voices in your head.
Big CatNever plan dinners for a bachelor party
If you're planning a bachelor party, don't plan any dinners. I've never seen a party go from this was fun to just death. You sit down, you eat, and it's just like, okay, now I just want to go to bed.
NBA & NHL Playoff Takes
With Steph Curry dealing with a knee injury, the NBA playoffs have felt a bit sluggish. While the rest of the world is crying for Steph, PFT is looking at the bright side for the Warriors. He thinks there's a world where the team is actually better off letting another Splash Brother take the reins.
PFT CommenterThe Golden State Warriors are better without Steph Curry because Klay Thompson can finally shine
I think the Golden State Warriors are a better basketball team without Steph Curry... Thompson can really shine now. [Clay] will actually get to shoot. And he's actually a better shooter than [Steph].
They also touched on the NHL playoffs, which have been significantly more electric than the first round of the NBA. Between Big Cat’s Blackhawks living on the edge and the overall intensity, the guys are ready for the NBA to just get to the point already.
PFT CommenterThe NBA should fast forward to the conference finals
Let's just fast forward. They should eliminate half the teams in the NBA.
Mike Florio on the NFL Draft
Mike Florio from Pro Football Talk joined the show to give some professional insight into the upcoming draft and the disaster that is the Eagles' quarterback room. Florio isn't buying the company line that Sam Bradford is the guy in Philly long-term, especially with the draft pick looming.
Mike FlorioSam Bradford will not be the Eagles starting quarterback in 2016
I have a feeling [Sam Bradford] won't be [starting]. I know they're saying all the right things now and they can't declare to the world that he's not going to be the starter because what if the guy that they draft ultimately stinks. It wouldn't shock me if they find a way to unload him onto somebody who emerges from the draft without an answer.
Beyond the Eagles, Florio weighed in on the sad state of Johnny Manziel. He took the under on Manziel ever starting another five games in the league, citing a total lack of trust from GMs across the board. The conversation also detoured into Peter King’s coffee habits and the legalities of PFT Commenter trying to sue Robert Griffin III for using his trademarked "no pressure, no diamonds" catchphrase. Before he left, Florio put his neck on the line for the number one pick.
Mike FlorioJared Goff will be the first overall pick in the 2016 NFL Draft
Oh, it's going to be Jared Goff. I believe it will be Jared Goff.
Weekly Witch Hunt and Hot in the Streets
The show debuted a brand new segment: the Weekly Witch Hunt. The premise is simple—the guys just pick a player who is performing too well and accuse them of being on the juice with zero evidence. PFT immediately set his sights on the Cubs’ ace.
PFT CommenterJake Arrieta is 'juicing through his eyeballs'
I think Jake Arrieta is a classic case of juicing through his eyeballs. If you look at the facts on Jake Arrieta real quick, he wasn't very good early in his career and now he's super good. What do they all have in common [with A-Rod]? You guessed it: using a lot of steroids.
Big Cat fired back by accusing Colin Kaepernick of being a former steroid user because he's gotten too skinny, which is perfectly sound logic. Finally, in "What’s Hot in the Streets," Hank tried to explain Beyonce’s *Lemonade* to two guys who were too hungover to realize Jay-Z had even been cheated on. PFT is just nostalgic for a simpler time in the music industry.
PFT CommenterAlbum releases should go back to Tuesdays
Whatever happened in the good old days where you could, like, everybody released their albums on Tuesday. You could prepare yourself mentally, financially, save up enough money where you could go to Best Buy and buy the album on Tuesday. It was a handshake agreement, and it was much better.
Watch out for a surprise fourth episode dropping later this week—it's a surprise, so don't ask when.
