San Diego is 'fake life' and not real life

San Diego is fake life. It's not real life. There's nothing real about San Diego. There are no fat people. I'm pretty sure no one has a job except if you're in the Navy. It's beautiful every single day. Everyone's just relaxed and like cool. There's no edge.

The Chargers should leave San Diego because fans living in paradise don't deserve a team

Just don't – I don't ever want to hear any San Diego fan ever tell me, like, we had a bad loss or boo-hoo, the Chargers are moving. You live in paradise. You don't deserve other things. You have the paradise to live with... I want you to lose the Chargers now.

The best way to get over a hangover is to drink more

My advice, as always, is Pedialyte. Pedialyte tends to work. But most importantly, my advice is to drink a Bloody Mary and then, like, seven beers afterwards. That's what I did this morning. It worked well.

The Chargers could beat the Chiefs on Correction Sunday

Could it be something as drastic as the Chargers beating the Chiefs, the Chiefs at four and oh, the Chargers at oh and five? I think it's only been three times since the merger that a team four and oh or better has lost to a team oh and four or worse.

Someone will be fired if the Chargers start 0-6

The Chargers are never gonna be any more desperate than they are on Sunday, because their bye week comes next. And I assume somebody's getting fired. If they lose, whether it's Mike McDaniel, whether it's all the way up to Jim Harbaugh, I don't know, but I assume somebody's out if they go oh and six into the bye.

Josh Jacobs may not play again until the NFL sees the video

If I'm the NFL, my position is, hey man, you're not playing again until we see this. ... I think that's gonna keep this paid leave extended beyond Week 6 for Josh Jacobs.