San Diego is 'fake life' and not real life

San Diego is fake life. It's not real life. There's nothing real about San Diego. There are no fat people. I'm pretty sure no one has a job except if you're in the Navy. It's beautiful every single day. Everyone's just relaxed and like cool. There's no edge.

The Chargers should leave San Diego because fans living in paradise don't deserve a team

Just don't – I don't ever want to hear any San Diego fan ever tell me, like, we had a bad loss or boo-hoo, the Chargers are moving. You live in paradise. You don't deserve other things. You have the paradise to live with... I want you to lose the Chargers now.

The best way to get over a hangover is to drink more

My advice, as always, is Pedialyte. Pedialyte tends to work. But most importantly, my advice is to drink a Bloody Mary and then, like, seven beers afterwards. That's what I did this morning. It worked well.

Michigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.

Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane

Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.