San Diego is 'fake life' and not real life

San Diego is fake life. It's not real life. There's nothing real about San Diego. There are no fat people. I'm pretty sure no one has a job except if you're in the Navy. It's beautiful every single day. Everyone's just relaxed and like cool. There's no edge.

The Chargers should leave San Diego because fans living in paradise don't deserve a team

Just don't – I don't ever want to hear any San Diego fan ever tell me, like, we had a bad loss or boo-hoo, the Chargers are moving. You live in paradise. You don't deserve other things. You have the paradise to live with... I want you to lose the Chargers now.

The best way to get over a hangover is to drink more

My advice, as always, is Pedialyte. Pedialyte tends to work. But most importantly, my advice is to drink a Bloody Mary and then, like, seven beers afterwards. That's what I did this morning. It worked well.

The Giants will make the playoffs

In the NFC I have ... the Rams. And then my wild card teams are the Seahawks, the Lions and Cowboys, the New York Giants.

The Bills will beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl

It is going to be the Buffalo Bills defeating the Philadelphia Eagles. ... Buffalo Bills over the Philadelphia Eagles.

Deshaun Watson will get even worse

I think Deshaun Watson's gonna get worse. I think he's gonna get even worse. I think it's gonna be comically bad.