Takes

Ja Morant's addiction to fake guns is the best addiction of all time

Ja Morant can't quit holding fake guns. It's the, it's the best addiction of all time. I respect the hell outta that... the NBA coming down on him for his fake guns is bullshit. Just ignoring all the history of Ja Morant with real guns. I love that shit.

Any NBA team that plays well in March is a 'fake' team because the month doesn't matter

March NBA does not fucking matter because half the teams are not even trying. So when you say, oh man, look at this team so hot in March. Turns out that's all Fools Gold. If you start playing well in March, you're just a fake team. That's really what it comes down to.

I am officially done with all NBA era comparison debates

I'm officially done with conversations comparing eras in the NBA. I feel like that's all that is talked about at this point. I'm getting tired of it. Why can't we just say all the good players would be good in their era? Good basketball players are good. Case closed.

If the Celtics are healthy, they are not losing

If we're healthy, we're not losing. That's, it's really, it's just health. I, it's like the calves are a good team, good season. Sure. But... if we're healthy, we're not losing.

LeBron James is planning to start a separate basketball league that would rival the NBA

I have not given up on my conspiracy theory that LeBron is starting this separate league. Him basically admitting that he believes the NBA was rigged is further evidence of it.

Doc Rivers has won three games in a playoff series many times and doesn't get enough credit for it

When he [Doc Rivers] loses the three-one leads, he's won three games. That should be worth something. Like if you get up 28 to three against the Patriots of the Super Bowl, that should be worth something.

Cooper Flagg should go to the NBA this year no matter which team drafts first

Cooper, this is why you gotta go to the NBA. No matter who drafts you, no matter who is in position to the lottery, you're risking injury... If the Wizards get the first lotto pick, don't even think twice. Go to the NBA.

LeBron James' best dad move ever was getting Bronny drafted into the NBA

Lebron is a better father than he is basketball player? Yeah, I think, didn't we we determin that on Friday. Yeah. The fact that he got Bronny drafted. Yeah. No basketball player has ever done that before. But I do think he went up to him [Stephen A. Smith] like Stephen A. Smith played the role afterwards.

The NBA needs a Celtics-Lakers Finals for the ratings

The Lakers were scaring me. They've been, you know, they won eight straight. They were playing really well and it, you know the conspiracy of how does Luca end up in la? The NBA needs a Celtics. Lakers NBA finals for ratings. Yep.

Cooper Flagg should go back to college if the Wizards or Hornets get the #1 pick

I did see something very mean from front of the program Andy Staples. He said if I was Cooper Flagg and the Wizards are the Hornets got the number one overall pick, I'd go back to college. Oh. And then I thought about it and he's not, he's not wrong, but it hurt for me to hear him say that. It's still an insult.

The Mavericks are currently experiencing one of the worst sports seasons of all time

Given all the context though, I think this has to be one of the worst seasons of all time. And I know that people will be like, well, that's reactionary. But I'm just saying the context of finals run last year, like future seems super bright. And then to have everything fall apart... and your own team sabotage your bright future because they traded away a top three guy [Luka Doncic].

LeBron James is potentially a better father than he is a basketball player

I think you could actually make the case that LeBron James, he is top two basketball player of all time. He might be a better dad than basketball player... The fact that he got his son [Bronny] drafted. He might actually be one of the best dads that it's like him and God.

You must win a championship to be considered the face of the NBA

When has there ever been a face of a league that didn't win? Right. You have to win when it matters. You have to win a championship to be considered a face of this league. Agreed. It's not. And obviously if you win, that doesn't automatically mean you're the face of the league.

The Celtics' loss to the Cavaliers was a 'statement loss' that will motivate them for the playoffs

A fully healthy Celtics team is not loose to the Cavs. It was an absolute ref show, but it was, it was. I mean it's good. It's, it's a, Mazzulla loves those games. He loves having things that he can use to motivate the team and and losing to a team that's gonna have a better record than them going into the playoffs like that. That's good. That was a good statement loss.

Pat Riley is a bad guy for taking LeBron James's cookies on the team plane

LeBron stops playing cards when he finds out his cookies were taken... I would rather someone come and pat me on the head like patronizing words to take someone to take another man's cookies. You're basically saying they're a 4-year-old that didn't eat their vegetables... Pat Riley, bad guy. Real bad guy.

Fouling when up three points at the end of a game should be banned

I think we should ban fouling up three. I don't know how they could do it... I like the idea of maybe if you foul up three, they get three shots. There's nothing worse than in a game where a team is up three and it just becomes a foul fest.

I'm officially opting out of all Philadelphia 76ers news for the rest of the season

I don't care. I'm opting out of all Sixers news... I just wanna fast forward to the end of the season.

Joel Embiid should retire from the NBA

He [Joel Embiid] should just retire.

The 76ers should shut down Joel Embiid and tank for Cooper Flagg

They stink. Joel Embiid, they should shut him down for the season and they should tank for Cooper Flagg.

The Celtics are officially 'all the way back' as title favorites

The Celtics waxed [the Knicks]... it's back on. All, all the way back on. The last five, they've won each by minimum 13.

LeBron James ruined the All-Star OGs picture

LeBron is wearing street clothes and he's standing in the middle [of the All-Star OGs picture]. ... It's the definition of stop trying to fit out and start trying to fit in. ... He ruined the picture. He really did.

The NBA internally tried to send Luka Doncic to the Lakers to stop LeBron James from starting a rival league

What if the NBA forced Luka [Doncic] to the Lakers to basically like forced LeBron to stay? Because the Luka thing still doesn't make any sense. ... LeBron is clearly like doing something, like something's going on where he is protesting... and maybe the NBA knew about this internally and they tried to send Luka to LA to somehow stop LeBron from doing what he's trying to do.

Caitlin Clark is paid what she is worth right now because she hasn't won a championship

I think that she's paid what she's worth right now. She gotta win the big one. ... She's never won a college national championship. Never won a WNBA national championship. ... Talk to me when she's got a chip. When she gets that ring.

LeBron James sitting out the All-Star game two hours before tip-off was a lame move

LeBron James decide he is not playing in the Allstar game two hours before the All-Star game... dude, just say you're gonna do this five days ago. Don't do it two hours before the All-Star game. And people do wanna see you play and it's probably, you're, you're at the end of your career. It's just kind of a lame move.

The Mavericks' process in the fictional Luka Doncic trade was indefensible

Having said all those things, you still will never be able to defend the process. The execution of this is indefensible. But then I think about Luca like is this this wake up call for him... you still will never be able to defend the process.

The Denver Nuggets are the fourth-best championship contender when healthy

I think Denver's the fourth team when Denver has Aaron Gordon and this version of Jamal Murray. Even with a diminished bench, it's like you can't rule, especially, you know, you look at the depth, the extra days off depth isn't as big of an issue.

The Milwaukee Bucks' championship window is likely already closed

The Giannis thing is is terrific... But I I think the reality is the NBA stories, the way they go, like their, their window's probably already closed.

Paul George is essentially just Tobias Harris with better branding

Paul George is Tobias Harris with better branding. Whoa. Yeah. I mean they're all back tonight... Paul George, Paul George, I know he had a better January, but like off key, he, he needs to be a dude while MB is out through all of this. And instead he's totally comfortable getting his ISO 17 footer up.

The Philadelphia 76ers will lose in the NBA play-in tournament

How do you think the sixth or season ends this year bad... They're gonna losing the plan, losing the plan prediction.

The Oklahoma City Thunder will defeat the Boston Celtics in seven games to win the NBA Finals

Thunder over Boston in... would be seven thunder. Get it at home.

Luka Doncic is out of shape

Luca's smiling on the bench after the first time out. That's probably because he is sitting and it's, it's, it's nice to set like painful for him to, to stand. 'cause he is so outta shape. He did look kind of big and pale in that Lakers yellow, didn't he?

The Lakers are Austin Reaves' team, not Luka's or LeBron's

I'll tell you what, I think it might be Austin Reaves team. Mm.

Luka Doncic doesn't have the same drive as Shaquille O'Neal

But in defense of us, mark Luca is, he doesn't, he doesn't want it enough. Like a guy like Shaq. Right?

The Dallas Mavericks made the 'worst trade ever' regarding the Luca/Kyrie era context.

It's still crazy that we're, they're somehow are making it worse. The worst trade ever. They're making it worse. [Context: discussing Patrick Dumont's comments on the Mavs' culture].

The Lakers are winners of the NBA trade deadline for landing Mark Williams

Winner Lakers. Luca also Mark Williams... they did need a big, that feels like a pretty good trade for them... if he is not injured, he's exactly what they needed.

The Bulls are the big losers of the trade deadline because they are the dumbest organization

The bulls are a big loser because they didn't do anything that they should have done besides trade Zach LaVine... they're just the dumbest organization in AKs. Dumbest. And they extended Lonzo Ball... it's just none of the moves stack up together.

The Knicks should sign Chris Middleton in the buyout market

I want Chris Middleton on the Knicks. Oh. I think he's a perfect wing backup.

The Mavericks trading Luka Doncic is absolute malpractice

Nico Harrison — this guy should be in person... Malpractice. Malpractice. Yeah. The only guy literally deserves to be in prison. The only — it was, it's malpractice. The only way you could reasonably get over it is if like, Luca ends up being like 320 pounds.

The Luka Doncic trade is the most shocking in NBA history

It's not hyperbole to say this is probably the most shocking trade in NBA history. Just because [Doncic] is 25 years old. He's one of the top five players in the NBA. He just took his team to the finals and he gets traded to the Lakers with no bidding whatsoever.

The Mystery Team in the Luka trade was likely invented just to make the Mavs GM feel better

There was a mystery team. I think it was added just to make [Nico Harrison] the Mavs GM feel a little better. But it seems like they did this deal... maybe you're in debt to the ownership of the Lakers. Maybe you need a favor from the Lakers at a later date.

The Luka Doncic trade is one of the most shocking transactions in American sports history

It's one of the most shocking transactions in American sports history for the magnitude and the way it came out of the blue. I've never had my phone go crazy like this. I'm talking about players, head coaches, assistant coaches, executives, referees, agents, lawyers, workout guys, and they all had the exact same question: 'We don't understand what's going on.'

The Mavericks potentially made a catastrophic mistake trading Luka Doncic

I don't understand this, and I think this is potentially a catastrophic mistake. Nico Harrison has got some capital with the Mavs fans, but my God, if Luka turns into this... and the Lakers have another era and Luka has a statue outside Crypto.com and Luka puts up more banners, Nico Harrison will live in infamy.

The 2020 Lakers championship in the Orlando Bubble counts the most and was the hardest to win

If anything 2020 counts the most. Listen, you take out all the distractions and you just boil that game down to who's truly the best. Everyone plays on the same court... No traveling for the guy who's in his late thirties... it was just a testament.

10-minute quarters in the NBA would be bad for bench players and league parity

I think it would be bad for bench players. There would be less parity in the league and there would just be, you know, all the stars could play more minutes.

The NBA will expand to Las Vegas and Seattle

They're gonna add two more teams, I think is my takeaway... Vegas and Seattle.

Jimmy Butler is an absolute locker room cancer

I mean he's old and he's proven himself time and time again to just be an absolute locker room cancer can't even win.

The Warriors should have just resigned Klay Thompson and stayed old together

I don't even think like, this is why this revisionist history just fucking should have just resigned Klay and just gotten like, you have to pick a lane. Like just maybe just get old together. And just be like, all right. It was fun, but everyone got to stay together... if you know you're not gonna win again, just go nostalgia.

The 76ers are back and Caleb Martin is a 'Celtics killer'

Sixers are back. Everyone knows the NBA starts on Christmas... Caleb Martin might be the Celtic killer. That might be the difference... He has been horrendous this year and all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Day goes seven of nine from three and just buries every single shot against the [Celtics].

LeBron James' absence was extremely odd and under-reported

He left the Lakers a few days ago... there was, you know, internet rumors circulating that he was maybe getting arrested. That he was disappearing... it was weird the way it was, you know, he left and with LeBron and the media, they, you know, will talk about him nonstop and it kind of got swept under the rug.

Analytics and the three-point shot have made the NBA tough to watch

It's analytics. I blame analytics... That too. Three point shot. That too. Dunk should be three... Imagine if they made dunks threes. Everyone was just trying to fucking yam on each other constantly. That would be sick.