Takes

Saint Mary's was the worst team I've ever watched and their game against Alabama was boring and terrible.

That was the worst college basketball game I think I've ever seen. It was so bad, like boring and bad to watch. Saint Mary's is the worst team ever, worst team I've ever watched. How was this team a fucking seven seed? They sucked.

Marquis Noel is the best individual performance I've ever watched in the tournament

It was the best game I've ever watched in my life out of a single player. Like you can, you can point to other individual performances in the tournament... but the way that he took over the entire court was unreal.

Kansas is going to be a bummer to watch and a 'pain in the ass' in the tournament

Kansas is a bummer to watch. Because you're gonna look at them and think, oh wait, it's Kansas. Kansas is the tournament Bill Self and the tournament. They're gonna be a pain in the ass to watch.

College basketball is better when Duke is the villain

College basketball is better when Duke is the villains. So I'm happy for the tournament. I'm excited. Shut everyone up.

The Jalen Suggs buzzer-beater is the third-best in NCAA Tournament history

I think this makes it three... Chris Jenkins is number one because you won the title... I think that's two [Laettner], but I think this makes it three.

The Oregon basketball court is the worst court design of all time

The Oregon court is the worst court of all time. I hate that court. It looks like it's warped. Every time I see that court, I get fucking so mad.

Watching the first half of any March Madness game is a waste of time

What are you even doing if you're watching the first five minutes of a March Madness game? I don't think I've ever done that.

College basketball is better when Grayson Allen is playing the villain role

College basketball is better when you've got Grayson Allen shoving his ass into people and spitting on old ladies on the side of the court.

John Scheyer lost because he wore a black sweater instead of a gray one

The game was decided well before that, before the boys even stepped on the court because Scheyer wasn't wearing the sweatshirt. They were wearing the same sweaters, different color black... The gray one was way better.

John Shire's blue sweater is bringing Hank back to being a Duke fan

I think John Shire's sweater is bringing Duke Hank's Duke fandom back... Duke fans are sitting at home looking at that. And they probably flew off the shelves.

The Big 12 tournament court is the weirdest looking thing and it sucks to watch on TV.

The Big 12 because they're playing the tournament right now and their court is the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And the commissioner of the Big 12 said that it's actually a resounding success because so many people are talking about it. ... it looks like if you've ever put on a VR headset and asks you to scan the room to know where the walls in the floor are, that's what it looks like. ... I feel like if you're a player on the court, you probably don't mind it that much. But if you watch it on tv it sucks ass.

Watching college basketball for 15 hours a day is a sport in itself

Watching college basketball for 15 hours a day is a sport. It is. It is literally a sport, and we're pretty fucking good at it.

I'm officially a 'Crown' (NIT) guy and will be watching it all week

I'm actually jacked up for the Crown... I'm a Crown guy. I'm excited for the Crown.

The NCAA vacating titles is the dumbest penalty because you can't actually take away a title that people watched

Is this not the dumbest, most NCAA penalty? Just being like, yeah, all those memories don't exist anymore. [Louisville's] fans are just... Really, the only thing that it punishes Louisville in is that Kentucky fans can now say they didn't win that. But other than that, you can't just take away a title. That doesn't work.

Zach Edey is legitimately good at basketball despite his game being unenjoyable to watch

Purdue fans should just be like, that's okay because we win. You know what I mean? Like, it's at a point where it's like to quote our good friend Jay Bilis, agree to disagree. Zach Edey is really good at basketball. Most of America doesn't enjoy this experience. It's okay. Thinking otherwise is stupid.

The officials were right not to call the travel on Maryland's buzzer-beater because the tournament needs madness.

Derrick Queen's buzzer beater that now is being called a travel—and it might've been a travel, but I'm so happy they didn't call it a travel because I wanted to watch a buzzer beater. You can't spend all weekend saying there's no madness and then when there's the one madness that happens, like a travel, you say to call it. It was an awesome shot, a big boy move.

Max Abmas' missed buzzer-beater against Arkansas is one of the most notable misses in NCAA tournament history

We've got [Max Abmas'] missed buzzer beater for Oral Roberts. I think it's up there with one of the most, like, Gordon Hayward missed territory. Like, it's one of the most notable misses in NCAA tournament history.

Walter Clayton Jr. is so raw that you forget his first name is Walter

Walter Clayton Jr. is so raw, you forget his first name is Walter. [T Black] replied with a bunch of laughing emojis, but that's the facts. He was making shots that you can't really [stop]... he's just doing shit that is on a different level.

Wisconsin's loss to Iowa State wasn't heartbreaking because they were a flawed team

Wisconsin was obviously, I don't think that they were going to win it all this year. They were a flawed team... it's not the most heartbreaking... because I knew I was realistic about this team. I knew they weren't like that crazy talented.

NC State was right to fire Kevin Keatts because his Final Four run was a fluke

I saw NC State fired their coach off of a Final Four appearance. Everyone was like, how can you do this? Maybe because it was the fluke Final four. No, I mean it was an incredible run. No, nothing to take away from NC State. But if Virginia had fouled up three in the ACC tournament, he would've been fired last year.