PMT DB
PMT DB
Ari Shaffir on Hating the Lakers, Yankees Pinstripes, and March Madness Meltdowns
We opened the show in the middle of absolute chaos as the guys watched the closing minutes of UCLA vs. Gonzaga. Max was in the midst of a full-blown Philadelphia-style meltdown, watching his $15,000 future bet on the Bruins evaporate in real-time. While Drew Timmy was busy ending dreams, Max was busy declaring the game over with ten minutes left, only to see Tiger Campbell briefly give him hope before a Julian Strawther logo shot ended it for good.
MaxDrew Timmy is the best player on the planet
Drew Timmy has become [the] best fucking player on the planet. Every single time he wants the score, he scores.
While Max was mourning his bank account, PFT and Big Cat couldn't stop raving about the show Marquis Noel put on at Madison Square Garden. The Short King stayed hot, dropping 20 points and 19 assists in a performance that felt like watching a video game. Even a salty Tom Izzo couldn't take away from the fact that Kansas State is the most fun team left in the bracket.
Big CatTom Izzo is not overrated
Is Tom Izzo overrated? [PFT: Yeah]. Here's not He's ready to, he's not. He's not. But he, but we did get a little salty Tom Izzo after he said that they had some lucky shots.
PFT CommenterMarquis Noel is the best individual performance I've ever watched in the tournament
It was the best game I've ever watched in my life out of a single player. Like you can, you can point to other individual performances in the tournament... but the way that he took over the entire court was unreal.
Arkansas got absolutely bullied by UConn, who Big Cat and PFT agree look like the most complete team in the entire field. Between the Huskies' dominance and the chaos in the rest of the bracket, it feels like the traditional powers are being replaced by teams that actually want to play basketball. Big Cat also noticed a shift in the way the games are being called and played.
Big CatThe overs are back in March Madness because of the bad publicity regarding shooting
Overs back. Yeah. Overs are back. Because I big brained it. I was like March Madness saw all the bad publicity... they're gonna see all the bad publicity about shot making. They're gonna loosen up these fucking rims.
PFT CommenterUConn might be the best looking team in the tournament so far
UConn might be the best looking team in the tournament so far. Overall start, start to finish every game. They have in complete games, they have dominated their opponents.
Comedian Ari Shaffir joined the show in-studio for a wild conversation that covered everything from his Maryland basketball practice player days to his pure, unadulterated hatred for the Los Angeles Lakers. Ari didn't hold back on the bandwagon culture in LA or the legacy of the franchise's biggest stars. Big Cat even shared his own history of trolling the Laker faithful.
Ari ShaffirLakers fans are just bandwagon fans
Fuck the Lakers dude. Every time they had fucking playoff games, no one will come out. Could be up three-nothing in the first round as a one seed. And people are like, 'wow, they're such fucking bandwagon fans.' Fuck all of them.
Big CatLeBron James is a better Laker than Kobe Bryant
I started just doing a bit that LeBron is the best Laker of all time. And I had like my top fives and Kobe wasn't on it. [Ari: Kobe's the sixth best]. Yeah. It was like Nick Van Exel. It was like Shaq. So all these like... Will Chamberlain, Kareem, Magic, I'll give Worthy. And then LeBron.
As a die-hard Yankees fan, Ari had plenty of thoughts on who actually deserves to wear the pinstripes. We went through the roster of past and present Bronx Bombers, and Ari was quick to point out that stats don't always equate to being a true Yankee. He’s got a very specific set of criteria that involves hustle, timing, and apparently, not being Alex Rodriguez.
Ari ShaffirAlex Rodriguez never earned his pinstripes because he only padded stats in blowout games
Did A-Rod earn pinstripes? Oh no. Not even for 2009. No. He got all his numbers. All his stats came in like blowout games.
Ari ShaffirGiancarlo Stanton has not lived up to being a Yankee
What about Giancarlo? Does he have his pinstripes? Stanton? No. He plays shitty. He's never lived up to it. He never lived up to that concept.
Ari ShaffirBrett Gardner earned his pinstripes through hustle
Brett Gardner... everyone's like 'Brett Gardner pinstripes.' Like that's just because he hustles, he plays the right way. Yeah, definitely pinstripes. He earned them.
We wrapped things up with Fyre Fest of the week. Hank is dealing with the consequences of playing his first basketball game in three months, including shooting a ball over the backboard. PFT is committed to a very specific, very difficult lifestyle choice regarding his golf equipment that involves a literal belt and zero dignity on the course.
PFT CommenterI won't buy a golf bag until I break 130
I'm building myself up like a video game character in golf where I'm not allowing myself to get a golf bag until I break 130. That means that I'm carrying around a full set of clubs whenever I go to golf anywhere... I've literally taken a belt and I've wrapped it around my golf clubs and tightened it to keep them all together.
PFT CommenterDentists are a scam
Dentists are a scam. You don't have a cavity until somebody tells you you have a cavity. People don't go to the dentist when their teeth are feeling great.
Max might have lost his UCLA bet, but at least he still has the Philly Special—even if Gonzaga used it to kill his season.
