PMT DB
PMT DB
Blake Bortles and Biz Nasty on NHL Rejects, Fake Tears, and Wikipedia
The sports world is in a bit of a lull after the NBA All-Star break, but Rick Pitino and Louisville provided some involuntry entertainment by having their 2013 national title vacated. Big Cat and PFT Commenter pointed out the absurdity of trying to erase history that everyone saw with their own eyes.
Big CatThe NCAA vacating titles is the dumbest penalty because you can't actually take away a title that people watched
Is this not the dumbest, most NCAA penalty? Just being like, yeah, all those memories don't exist anymore. [Louisville's] fans are just... Really, the only thing that it punishes Louisville in is that Kentucky fans can now say they didn't win that. But other than that, you can't just take away a title. That doesn't work.
While Louisville fans are losing memories, the Olympics are still rolling on in South Korea. The guys haven't quite caught the fever yet, mostly because the NHL players are missing and ice dancing just isn't moving the needle for anyone with high T levels.
PFT CommenterIce dancing is just figure skating for betas
Ice dancing is just figure skating for betas. It's figure skating for people that weren't good enough to do the jumps.
Beyond the lack of star power, the actual competitive integrity of the games is under fire. Big Cat was specifically rattled by the fact that Canada and Germany shared a gold medal in the bobsled.
Big CatYou can't have a tie in the Olympics; make them go again
I also saw that the bobsled team from Canada and Germany tied. Both got golds. How is that possible? Again, I'm not trying to be an Olympic hater, but you can't have a tie in the Olympics. You can't. It's the Olympics. Make them do it again. Go down one more time. What the hell are they doing?
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hot Seat/Cool Throne took a dark turn into the world of op-eds and crypto. Big Cat put golfers on the hot seat after a New York Times piece claimed that playing golf is now a political statement because of the President.
Big CatAdmitting you are a golfer out loud is broken brain territory because President Trump also golfs
So we've talked about it a few times that Donald Trump, President Trump has broken some people's brains. And I would say this guy who is now saying he can't openly admit that he's a golfer because President Trump also golfs. That would be broken brain territory.
On the baseball front, Scott Boras is feeling the heat as the MLB offseason remains frozen. The super-agent is struggling to land the massive deals he promised his clients, leading Big Cat to believe the league has effectively iced him out.
Big CatScott Boras is on the hot seat because the MLB collusion against him is working
My other hot seat is Scott Boras. So Scott Boras, the number one MLB agent. He has had a tough offseason. He promised a lot of money to a lot of people, and he hasn't really come through... basically the entire collusion against Scott Boras has worked. And he's especially on the hot seat too because he's trying to convince everyone how he's doing well.
On the Cool Throne, Steven Seagal is apparently the new face of "Bitcoin 2Gen," which is exactly as legitimate as it sounds. PFT is ready to bet the farm on the Zen Master's digital currency.
PFT CommenterI want to take out high interest loans to invest in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin 2Gen
I don't want to overreact, but I want to take out some high interest loans just so I can invest them in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin [2Gen]. That's how confident I am in this.
Finally, Hank tried to claim that "avocado proposals" are a real thing, but Big Cat isn't buying it. He thinks the media is just manufacturing content to make millennials look worse than they already do.
Big CatMedia outlets create fake millennial memes and trends like avocado proposals just to have something to write about
I think someone out there... they either work for New York Times or BuzzFeed is basically creating these fake millennial memes and look at this new trend just so they have something to write about.
The Boat is Back
Blake Bortles joined the show to recap a wild Jaguars season that ended just short of the Super Bowl. Blake addressed the viral photo of him supposedly crying after the AFC Championship loss, clarifying that it was likely just water or sweat, though PFT admitted he was definitely crying on Blake's behalf. We also got a classic Wikipedia Club session where the guys learned that in Aurora, Illinois, single women are allowed to arrest single men on Leap Day.
Before letting him go, PFT checked in on Blake's thoughts regarding a certain AFC East quarterback who is always just one year away from greatness.
Blake BortlesRyan Tannehill is awesome and will take the next step next year
Yeah, I think Ryan Tannehill is awesome. [He will] take the next step.
Biz Nasty Joins the Show
Paul Bissonnette made his return to talk all things NHL, including the Vegas Golden Knights' historic inaugural run. Biz pointed out that the success of the "rejects" in Vegas is a massive indictment of the rest of the league's talent evaluation.
Paul BissonnetteThe success of the Golden Knights makes the rest of the NHL look bad for giving up those players
It's kind of going to make the rest of the league look really bad because all the other teams gave up all these guys, and they're all like the quote-unquote NHL rejects.
Biz also dropped a legendary story about his time with the Penguins. He was forced to change his jersey number from 67 to 16 because Sidney Crosby’s parents kept getting confused and thought their son was the one getting into fistfights on the ice.
Never one to shy away from a cross-sport comparison, Biz took a massive swing at LeBron James and the way he handles himself on the big stage.
Paul BissonnetteLeBron James' tears after winning the Cleveland championship were fake
I'm not a huge LeBron fan. I feel like he's very calculated. I felt like when he cried after he won it for Cleveland, he felt like he had to cry because MJ cried when he came back and did his thing and it made it emotional. Fake tears.
Segments
Josh Allen remains the tallest man in the draft, and Big Cat is officially calling his shot on the Wyoming gunslinger's draft position.
Big CatJosh Allen will be the number one pick in the 2018 NFL Draft
So Josh Allen, the tallest quarterback that's ever played football, also going to be the number one pick in this year's draft.
In Sabermetrics, the guys broke down the LeBron vs. MJ debate. Big Cat thinks the entire discussion is flawed because MJ and LeBron need each other for the debate to exist, whereas Kobe Bryant is a self-sustaining entity of greatness.
Big CatKobe Bryant is the real GOAT because he doesn't need a debate partner
LeBron versus MJ is the GOAT debate... that means that LeBron and MJ need each other to be a part of the goat discussion... which means Kobe's the goat. Kobe doesn't need LeBron or MJ to be considered a goat debate. They're just Kobe. He'd debate against himself. Kobe 8 versus Kobe 24.
The show wrapped with a legendary Guys on Chicks where the guys advised a girl dealing with a boyfriend who likes to time his bathroom breaks with her showers. They also gave some crucial relationship advice for the "promise ring" stage of life.
Big CatIf you need to buy time in a relationship, get a dog instead of a promise ring
What this guy doesn't realize is you don't have to get a promise ring. Get a dog. That's what a dog is. You get the dog, and then that buys you time.
Just remember, if your roommate leaves a dildo in the living room, you probably shouldn't use it without a whiteboard system.
