Takes

I only eat chicken tenders and don't like seafood

I have [had shrimp] but seafood's not really. Not really my thing. ... Chicken tenders. ... [Shirley Temples] I can get a Sprite whenever I want, but if I go to a restaurant or something, get a Shirley Temple. Class it up a little bit.

Pie is better than cake

One of my hottest takes, well, just facts in the interest of fairness, Pi is better than cake... Apple pie, blueberry pie, peach pie. Those are all better. Cheesecake is even a pie... if you take out ice cream cake, I think that that's easily, that's almost a blowout.

You cannot eat soup while wearing shorts; it's a fundamental rule

It's either short season or it's soup season. I thought about ordering soup yesterday, and I was like, it's a little too hot out. I'm wearing shorts. There's no overlap there. You can't eat soup while wearing shorts. You just can't. It doesn't go together. You can eat a popsicle.

I am canceling Orange Vanilla Coke and will never drink it because of the excessive advertising

Orange Vanilla Coke I saw seven million times, and I hate it. I will never drink an orange vanilla Coke. I am canceling orange vanilla Coke.

Macaroni and cheese is always an acceptable Thanksgiving side dish

By the way, the answer is yes, macaroni and cheese is always an acceptable side dish.

Mixing caramel and cheese popcorn is the correct way to eat it

Oh, I like to eat them both [caramel and cheese popcorn]. Then lick my hand, then put my hand back in.