PMT DB
PMT DB
Dan Haren on Hitting, No-Hitters, and the Death of a Pug
The vibes in the studio were noticeably different following a seismic shift in the office power dynamic. After Jake Marsh absolutely dismantled Hank in table tennis, the internal hierarchy has been flipped on its head. Jake isn't just a darling anymore; he's a stone-cold killer who now holds the title of the office alpha, leaving Hank to figure out how to exist as his newly minted subordinate.
Jake MarshI am the best person in the Barstool office at table tennis
The moment Hank had an opportunity to say I was no longer the best, he would have ran away with it. So I knew if I lost back-to-back... But I knew I'm [the best freaking one here].
Speaking of people getting caught in compromising positions, the Kentucky Derby was rocked by news that Medina Spirit tested positive for banned substances. Big Cat and PFT Commenter were fascinated by Bob Baffert’s defense, which essentially boiled down to being shocked that his horses keep finding themselves in these situations. PFT wasn't buying the trainer's excuses, noting that the horse probably just has a taste for the gear.
PFT CommenterMedina Spirit is a junkie horse
I put the blame on the horse. You can't just make excuses. The horse likes doing drugs, obviously. As our 45th president called it, it's a junkie horse.
Big Cat was particularly devastated because his first real Kentucky Derby win now comes with a massive asterisk. It’s a tough blow for a sport that already feels like it's on thin ice with the general public.
Big CatMy Kentucky Derby win has a huge asterisk because of Bob Baffert
I finally did win the Kentucky Derby, and I talked about it ad nauseum for the days afterwards, and then that one win has a huge asterisk because Bob Baffert is addicted to shooting his horses up with steroids.
Big CatHorse racing is in a precarious spot in America and the Medina Spirit scandal is not good for the sport
We're in a precarious spot in horse racing in America. I think it's one of those sports that people are starting to be like, yeah, maybe we don't need [it]. I love horse racing, so I think that this is not the scandal we need.
PFT also pointed out that we should have seen this coming based on Baffert's choice of eyewear. You simply cannot trust a man who hasn't committed to either sunglasses or regular frames.
PFT CommenterYou never trust a man who wears transition lenses
I think this goes back to my old theory of you never trust a man with transition lenses. The person is up to something shady. Once you reach the stage in life where you commit to becoming a transition lens guy, I'd be shocked if you weren't spending your days and nights drugging racehorses.
Who’s Back: Rory, Canelo, and Nut Taps
Rory McIlroy is officially back after winning for the first time in 18 months, but the guys were more focused on the return of nut smashing in the NBA. Luka Doncic got himself ejected for a tactical strike on Colin Sexton, leading PFT to call for a serious investigation into the health risks of the sack tap.
PFT CommenterNut tapping is the new concussion and we need an E60 on it
I think that we should [stand up against dick punchers], because in the case of this, it's the coward's way out. I wish Bob Lee was still alive because we should have an entire E60 about nut tapping. It's one of the biggest health scares that we've had in professional sports. It's the new concussion.
Big CatRoger Goodell has solved CTE; that shit is in the past
Let's be honest. Roger Goodell has solved CTE. That shit is in the past. He figured that whole thing out, figured out a way for us to all just stop talking about concussions again.
While discussing the dominance of UNC Women's Field Hockey and Canelo Alvarez’s terrifying ability to break orbital bones, the conversation shifted to the legitimacy of celebrity boxing. Big Cat made it clear that while Jake Paul might be a draw, he’s playing a different sport than the elites.
Big CatJake Paul would get his ass kicked and wouldn't even be able to land a punch on Canelo Alvarez
It's so funny watching [Canelo] move and the fact that there are real people out there who are like, Jake Paul's a legit boxer. Like, no, no, no. They're completely different athletes. He would get his ass kicked. He would never touch him. Jake Paul wouldn't be able to punch Canelo Alvarez.
Dan Haren Joins the Show
Friend of the program Dan Haren returned to discuss the influx of no-hitters in MLB, his tenure as a dominant hitting pitcher, and the tragic passing of his 15-year-old pug, Bernie, via a coyote encounter. Dan hasn't lost his self-deprecating touch, even when comparing his 2010 season to the modern-day Shohei Ohtani phenomenon.
Dan HarenIf I had played every day in 2010, I would have been better than Shohei Ohtani
It is crazy [what Ohtani is doing] until you look at how I hit in 2010 and realized that I was basically Shohei Ohtani in 2010. If I would play every day like Ohtani, I would be better probably than Ohtani. The only thing that he can do that I couldn't do is run, and I couldn't run that well.
Dan also shared his unique philosophy on healthcare. He recently had a hip replacement and a gum graft, but he’s currently advocating for a "coma-style" approach to dentistry where you just ignore your teeth until you need to be put under general anesthesia for 24 hours to fix the wreckage.
Dan HarenIt's more efficient to skip the dentist for 10 years and then do everything at once under anesthesia
Do you want to go to the dentist twice a year and just be nervous, or do you want to go once every 10 years and just get knocked out? Just have anesthesia all day and get everything taken care of, just like a coma for a day, and then knock it out, you're fine. It's way more efficient that way.
PFT CommenterTaking care of your body is a big waste of time unless you're a professional athlete
Honestly, taking care of your body is a big waste of time, unless you're a professional athlete. Which, or unless you have kids... taking care of your body is a big waste of time.
The baseball talk turned to the unwritten rules of the game, specifically regarding bat flips. Dan and Big Cat agreed that while personality is great, the intensity of the celebration needs to match the stakes of the game. Flipping a bat into orbit after a solo shot in a Tuesday night game in April just isn't it.
Big CatBaseball celebrations need to match the moment; October energy in April is a bit much
It's more about it has to match the moment. Everyone remembers [Jose] Bautista's bat flip or bat throw. That was in the playoffs. That was an enormous moment. If you're playing in the middle of May or April, and you're throwing bats like you're in Game 7 of the World Series, what does Game 7 of the World Series look like? Right now it feels like we see October energy in April.
Dogecoin and DK Metcalf
To wrap up, the guys looked at DK Metcalf’s attempt to qualify for the Olympics in the 100m dash. While he finished last in his heat, the fact that a 230-pound NFL receiver was even in the same frame as elite sprinters was a feat in itself.
Big CatDK Metcalf's last-place track finish was both impressive and embarrassing
DK Metcalf was impressive, and then at the same time he got embarrassed. It's weird because he was way better than I thought he would be, but he also was not even close to as fast as the fastest guys. Dead last in the race.
Finally, we got an update on the Dogecoin moon mission following Elon Musk’s SNL appearance. Despite a massive dip in price, PFT is holding strong, acknowledging that the entire currency's value relies solely on famous people saying the word "Doge" on television.
PFT CommenterDogecoin's value is purely driven by publicity and famous people mentioning it
With Doge, it's like that, but since it's based on a joke meme, publicity is 10 times more important than any real value. As far as I can tell, the best thing that can happen to Doge is just a famous person says the word Doge on a massive platform.
Jake also provided a journalism fact about Lester Holt getting kicked out of an Alaskan radio station at age 11, which explains a lot about his drive to succeed. Hug it out, bitch.
