I am the best person in the Barstool office at table tennis

The moment Hank had an opportunity to say I was no longer the best, he would have ran away with it. So I knew if I lost back-to-back... But I knew I'm [the best freaking one here].

Medina Spirit is a junkie horse

I put the blame on the horse. You can't just make excuses. The horse likes doing drugs, obviously. As our 45th president called it, it's a junkie horse.

My Kentucky Derby win has a huge asterisk because of Bob Baffert

I finally did win the Kentucky Derby, and I talked about it ad nauseum for the days afterwards, and then that one win has a huge asterisk because Bob Baffert is addicted to shooting his horses up with steroids.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.

Christian Pulisic was a 'no-show' and looked like he didn't care against Belgium

Christian Pulisic, the long anointed Captain America future face of this league for American soccer. Absolute no show of a game, I would say worse than a no show of a game. And then he checks himself out. Just looks lackluster, looks like he doesn't care at all. Had the most turnovers on the field of anybody. That played just really, really, really bad.

The US will never close the skill gap compared to the rest of the world in soccer

People will never close the skill gap. USA will never close the skill gap compared to the rest of the world in soccer.