Takes

The Green Bay Packers are officially dead

The Greeny Packers. Aaron Rodgers looks like he's playing poorly on purpose. That's how bad he's playing tonight... I'm officially saying get out the [shovel]... Their next game is against the Eagles, they're dead. That's a dead team.

It is time for the Packers to bench Aaron Rodgers for Jordan Love

I do think that they're dead. And I do think that it's time to put Jordan Love in at quarterback.

The Commanders will beat the Texans by more than 3.5 points

Commanders minus three and a half. Personal. Thank you. Revenge game.

The Cowboys will beat the Vikings

My favorite favorite also groans for me to say these words out of my mouth is Cowboys minus one and a half.

The Patriots will beat the Jets at home

My favorite favorite, I'm gonna take the Patriots minus three and a half... Home against the Jets. 34 out of the last 40 games have been won by the Patriots against these Jets.

The Bills will beat the Browns by more than 7.5 points

Bills by seven and a half... I think that him [Josh Allen] in a dome, he's gonna be more comfortable... the Bills need a confidence game. And confidence games usually end up in beating up on the other team.

The Minnesota Vikings are frauds

The Vikings are frauds... Fraudulent. You don't love that quarterback? Are you a Kirk Cousins guy?

The Steelers will cover +4 against the Bengals

My underdog is Steelers plus four against the Bengals. TJ Watt had a monster game until he got hurt the first time... I'm basically betting on TJ Watt to just harass Joe Burrow all afternoon.

The Eagles and Colts will go over 45 total points

I am going to take that over 45. I'm doing it because the Eagles cannot stop the run right now without Jordan Davis. I also am doing it because I do think the Eagles offense is gonna have a bounce back.

The Broncos and Raiders game will end in a tie

I think I'm gonna bet on a tie... You have to bet on a tie. It's been so wrong all year. You have to bet on a tie... Plus 1500.

Taylor Heineke should be the permanent starter for the Commanders over Carson Wentz

I'll tell you who's not back. Carson Wentz because this is Taylor Heineke's team right now. He's done.

Losing the undefeated streak was the perfect outcome for the Eagles' season

I actually think that was the perfect way for the Eagles to get their first loss. Because you don't want to lose, but... they had a game that they basically had everything go wrong for them and still almost had a chance to win it at the end. Now you can just focus on cleaning up the things, the mistakes you made.

The Eagles are in big trouble defensively if Jordan Davis stays out

If Jordan Davis is out for the year, I'd be like, the Eagles are in big trouble because they can't, their defensive line has no bulk and they can't stop anyone.

Sean McVay is not leaving for TV and will return to coach the Rams next year

All the talk of him doing TV and all that shit, like he's in. This isn't how he's gonna be going down. He's at this crossroads of the season and his whole thing was like, I can't go out like this.

Tua Tagovailoa is a serious MVP candidate because voters are hungry for a new story

I think they're all hungry for something new and a great new storyline. So I think Tua... they rally around it. Mahomes could conceivably win it every single year, but people like new stories too.

Justin Fields should be the #1 pick in a re-draft of the 2021 quarterback class

I think Fields is one. Fields is one, but solely cost... and they're finally building the offense around him obviously.

A backup quarterback taking over is only awkward if the players make it awkward

I told him like two weeks ago, the only way this situation's gonna be awkward as if we make it awkward. So, you know, it's, it's both of us wanna play. Only one of us is gonna get to play.

Justin Jefferson is the best receiver in the NFL

Justin Jefferson is the best receiver in the NFL and, and I'm confident in saying that what he did in that game, the catches he made, the fourth down catch he made was one of the craziest catches I've ever seen.

The Vikings will win at least one playoff game this season

The Vikings will probably win a playoff game and we, we will get nervous at that point. I'm worried about the Vikings because they will have home, home field advantage to the NFC. They will probably win a playoff game.

The Buccaneers will win 10 games and host a home playoff game

The Bucks now have everything in front of them where if they don't totally fuck up, we're gonna be sitting here. They're gonna have a home playoff game in January. [Based on their schedule] They're a 10 win team.

Justin Fields is not a fluke and is officially the guy for the Bears

Justin Fields has been looking phenomenal. He looked phenomenal again today... It's not a fluke. It's becoming, this is what he is. I can't wait to see some more top end talent around him because he is kind of carrying everything right now.

If the Saints have to start Andy Dalton in primetime, I'm going to jump in front of a bus

I gotta keep my composure cuz again, I'm going... if I have to watch Andy Dalton in primetime, I'm gonna jump in front of a bus. I I will watch a bus... what you getting run over by a bus? Yeah. Yeah. For, for pmt views.

The Giants will win 10 or 11 games and make the playoffs

The Giants are seven and two. I looked at their schedule. I think they're gonna win 10 games, maybe even 11. Like when you're seven and two, you're this we're we're almost at Thanksgiving. It would take a lot of fuck ups to not make the playoffs at this point.

The Dolphins have a master caution light blinking regarding their kicker

This is their blinking light that, that we're not making a big deal about right now. It's like a master caution light is going off in the corner. It's gonna create problems for you down the road when you're playing in serious games that matter. Because that guy [Jason Sanders] stinks.

Josh McDaniels is the worst coach in the NFL

And then he's just been objectively by the numbers terrible. 7-24 [as a head coach]. The worst coach in the nfl. So very bad coach. McDaniels bad coach.

The Rams are officially cooked

The Rams are officially cooked. I'm calling them cooked. They're done. I don't, we haven't done done chain in a while, but they're done. Yeah. They're, yeah. I'm, I'm confident in putting the done chain on them.

The Packers are off the mat and will go on a run

The Packers are now officially off the mat. Yeah. We we told you that Aaron Rogers... and now I'm very nervous that they're off the mat, gonna turn a corner, all that shit. Fully expecting the Packers to go on a run now.

I have zero faith in Dak Prescott to win a big game

I also just, I don't know if, and this game wasn't on Dak, I just don't, I I don't have like a ton of faith in Dak as a big, Do you have a ton of faith in Dak as a big time quarter? Like win a big game guy? I do not have a ton of faith in Dak.

The Falcons will win the NFC South and beat the Panthers 28-17

I think the Falcons are going to win 28 to 17. And I think that, you know, the Falcons will end this weekend in first place of the NFC South.

The Packers will cover +5 against the Cowboys because they are at rock bottom

I don't know if the Packers are gonna win this game, but I feel like they're gonna cover it because you can't get lower. Like they, they are as low as possible in terms of a stock and even that Lion's game. Like they probably should have won that Lions game by a couple touchdowns.

The Buccaneers will cover against the Seahawks in Germany because of the defense

I'm going with the Bucks. ... The Bucks. It's not never a bet on Tom Brady. The relapsing, It's a bet on their defense. I still think their defense is very good. I think their defense give the Seahawks a lot of problems.

There is an 80% chance the over hits in the Bills vs. Vikings game if Josh Allen plays

It's a mathematical almost certainty this hits, I put it at 80%. Wow. That the over hits. And here's why... if Josh Allen plays in this game over 44 is a guaranteed winner.

Austin Ekeler will score three touchdowns against the 49ers

I'm going to again say that Austin Ekeler is going triple dick. This shit out of him. The Niners are gonna be airtight triple dick. Let's go.

Mac Jones is definitively not the guy to lead the Patriots long-term

I would put a tattoo bet on it right now that [Mac Jones] is not gonna realize anything resembling long-term NFL success. ... everybody locally in Boston understands that he has a C arm at best. Like he's a good leader of men... but that only goes so far.

Lamar Jackson is better than Michael Vick

I don't need Michael Vick to tell me that this dude [Lamar Jackson] is gonna be better than Michael Vick. And was there no room for improvement for Lamar once he got to the league? Like how did so many teams fucking miss on that?

I bet on the Baltimore Ravens to win the Super Bowl at 13 to 1

I have made a wager on the Baltimore Ravens to win the Super Bowl at 13 to one... Everyone's like, Oh, you know, no one's gonna be able to keep up with the bills and the chief's offense. Why not defense? Why aren't we looking for defense?

Lamar Jackson will pull a 'Joe Flacco' and win the Super Bowl in a contract year

Wouldn't that be so Ravens too? I was about to say for Lamar [Jackson] to win the Super Bowl in a contract year... And they have to pay him the Flacco. That would be, he would pull a full Flacco on you.

Carson Wentz was not the problem in Indianapolis; it was everyone else

I think I actually take Carson Wentz's side in the breakup. Because like they remember how much they bashed him and were like, he's not a leader. He's the reason we lost the Jags. Now that we've moved away from it, you know, eight months and we've seen some more stuff. I think Carson Wentz was not the problem. It was just all the other guys.

The Colts hired Jeff Saturday as bait to eventually lure Peyton Manning to be the GM

My conspiracy theory says that they hired Jeff Saturday because they want to hire Peyton Manning to run the team to do a GM in the future... Now Jeff Saturday is a real life puppet of Peyton Manning as the head coach just to bring the rest of Peyton Manning's body from the wrist all the way back to be the, to be the general manager.

I bet Tua Tagovailoa to win the MVP at 16 to 1

I made another bet—Tua [Tagovailoa] to win the MVP 16 to one. What's gonna, if Josh—this is, it is also based like, I hope Josh Allen's not hurt, but if he is hurt, Tua feels like he's got a lot of, lot of like people feel bad about the concussions. He's gonna have some, a lot of numbers.

Dan Campbell says 'man' at least a hundred times a day

How many times does Dan Campbell say the word man? Man, I just said at least when we're in the building players at least a hundred. At least I know, I'm sure he does it a lot in his interviews, but man, man, man. No, he does it a lot. Probably at least a, at least a hundred.

The Jets are very much for real

The Jets get their statement win... if they can win one or even two of these three games against the Patriots, Bills, Patriots, they would have to be considered very much for real. I'm ready to consider them very much for real. Their defense is really, really fucking good.

The Vikings are the worst 7-1 team of all time

I think [the Vikings] might be the worst seven and one team of all time... we know that the Vikings are a good team, we know they're fine, but like Kirk Cousins, it's gonna be very difficult for us to ever fully buy in.

I will get a Kirk Cousins face tattoo on my ass if the Vikings win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna get Kirk Cousin's face tattoo on my ass if [the Vikings] win the Super Bowl... I will do the, I was wrong tattoo. If they get to the Super Bowl and if they win the Super Bowl, I will get a Kirk Cousins. I'll get his face tattooed on me.

Ayahuasca has given Aaron Rodgers too much perspective to be a successful quarterback

I think there are certain jobs that you should not want to have a lot of perspective if you're performing them... he says how like he's gained a lot of perspective how this year it's like, it's, it's great to see the people that I get to go to work with... If you're an NFL quarterback... you should probably be a perspectiveless psycho.

Georgia could beat the Green Bay Packers

I think it is time that we ask the question, could Georgia beat the Green Bay Packers? I think that they could hold the Packers to under 30 points. Aaron Rodgers wouldn't throw for 300 yards against them.

Justin Fields is officially the guy

I'm still, I'm still in. Just like, [Fields] is the guy. He is the guy. He's making throws... he is everything I've ever wanted... I'm on cloud nine. I'm excited for Bears games.

Justin Fields' style of play is not sustainable

Do you think that the usage of Justin Fields is gimmicky or sustainable?... the way he runs is not like Lamar Jackson. It's not as elusive... he takes more impacts. He's a larger body. He's gonna take more... eventually it will probably catch up with him.

Frank Reich needs to be fired

Frank Reich needs to be fired. It's crazy that he fired the OC. He then benched Matt Ryan... everyone else is the problem except me... that was one of the worst offensive games. Everything about them is bad. They have to fire everyone.

Pete Carroll should be in the Coach of the Year conversation

Pete Carroll should be absolutely in consideration for Coach of the Year because they traded away their franchise quarterback. Everyone picked him to be one of the worst teams in the NFL. They're now six and three... and he's made this team very, very good.