Takes

Greg Popovich is trying to sabotage NBA stars with wine

I truly think that he uses it as an advantage to be like, I'm going to turn LeBron James into an alcoholic so my San Antonio Spurs can still look like we're still in dynasty mode.

Barry Trotz is not a great coach and got lucky winning the Stanley Cup

I don't think that Barry Trotz is a great coach. I think he got lightning in a bottle. He got lightning in seven.

Bryce Harper is leaning towards signing with the Cubs in free agency

Peter Gammons reported that Bryce Harper is actually leaning towards the Cubs... Might I remind you, two quick things connect the dots. Bruce's dog is named Wrigley. And he played baseball with Kris Bryant. So he's friends with him. Do the math.

Hillary Clinton killed Chris Cornell

[Chris Cornell] also just happened to be the guy that sang the theme song for the Benghazi movie. And he was very active in Benghazi awareness that implicated a woman named Hillary Clinton. And then he passes away under mysterious circumstances. I think Hillary Clinton killed Chris Cornell.

David Ortiz will return to the MLB in the summer of 2017

I agree with Hank. What do you think? Like mid season? You think he's going to come for the whole season? Summer. He'll take the cold months off and come back.

Jay Mariotti will be the White House Press Secretary for Donald Trump

Jay Mariotti is going to be White House press secretary, and he's going to make sure that only respectable journalists get a seat in that crowd. It all makes sense to me. He was playing the long game.

Roger Goodell is orchestrating NFL ties by having kickers miss short field goals on purpose

These teams are tying on purpose. Roger Goodell has the kickers in his back pocket... There's been five missed field goals in the entire season, 30 yards or less, and two of them happened in the same game [Seahawks-Cardinals]? ... He's going to fix the ties. We're going to get another tie. I'm telling you.

Twitter is officially out to get Curt Schilling

Twitter is out to get Curt Schilling. It has nothing to do with his awful opinions, his racist beliefs, the fact that he's addicted to memes and retweeting idiots... Nope.