PMT DB
PMT DB
Rickie Fowler and Smylie Kaufman on Spring Break and Tour Life
The college football season ended with an absolute banger as Clemson took down Alabama, leaving Nick Saban in a state of perpetual blue balls. While the state of Alabama mourns, PFT Commenter is looking at the bright side for former offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin, who was effectively fired a week before the game.
PFT CommenterLane Kiffin was happy to see Alabama lose the National Championship because humans love to see bad things happen to their exes
The second you move on from [a relationship], there's a small part of you that will always love to see bad things happen to that person... And Lane Kiffin is, by all accounts, a much bigger dick than normal people. So you have to believe that he was popping bottles.
The guys also played a round of Fair or Not to address the fallout in Tuscaloosa. Big Cat thinks it is time for the Crimson Tide to stop being so cheap with their under-the-table benefits.
Big CatAlabama recruits should be upgraded from Dodge Chargers to Mercedes
Fair or not, Nick Saban should stop giving everyone, all his recruits, Dodge Chargers... Maybe upgrade them to the Mercedes, the new Mercedes, please.
PFT Commenter even suggested that this loss might have long-term political ramifications for the state now that the Saban dynasty has hit a speed bump during a specific political era.
PFT CommenterAlabama will vote Democrat in the next election because of the football loss
Fair or not, Nick Saban hasn't won a national title since Trump got elected... as we've learned, could be some funny business if your team doesn't do so well in Alabama. Therefore, look for Alabama to vote Democrat next election cycle.
The Golf Bros Join the Program
Rickie Fowler and Smylie Kaufman called into the show to provide some much-needed golf content. The conversation quickly shifted to the legend of Tiger Woods. Smylie, who has been practicing with the GOAT, gave the update every golf fan has been waiting for.
Smylie KaufmanTiger Woods is officially back
I think he's back. Actually, being that I practiced with him and play with him before and before the Ryder Cup and leading up to the Bahamas, he kept looking better and better.
Between discussing Rickie’s lack of a mustache and Smylie’s famous "Smylie's Army" fans yelling "Boom Tower" on the course, the guys tried to get some dirt on the rest of the Tour. After some prodding about who the biggest jerk in the locker room is, Rickie decided to throw one of his best friends under the bus for the sake of the headline.
Rickie FowlerBubba Watson is the biggest dick on the PGA Tour (just for fun)
We'll give it to [Bubba Watson] just for fun. He's one of my best friends, but... Just for fun, Bubba Watson's the biggest dick on tour. Got it.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank put Yahoo on the Hot Seat for changing their name to Altaba, but Big Cat sees it as a masterclass in corporate rebranding to avoid accountability.
Big CatYahoo's name change to Altaba is a brilliant way to hide from the public eye
I have Yahoo on my cool throne because the best way to secretly get out of the public eye is just have a vaguely foreign sounding company by you and change your name. And just claim that your entire company was satire.
Meanwhile, the NFL Draft cycle is officially beginning, which means it is time for scouts and media members to ruin the lives of 21-year-olds by asking about their deepest personal traumas. Big Cat is already bracing for the "character concern" reports that make no sense.
Big CatThe NFL draft process will pick apart college kids' characters for minor things like smoking weed or their parents' divorce
As soon as college football ends, it's draft season... We've got to pick apart these 21-year-olds, really dig into it. Stuff like, have you smoked weed? Do your teammates like you? Is your mother a prostitute? ... Did your parents get divorced because of you?
PFT Commenter thinks the solution is simple: hire the man who pioneered the most intrusive interview questions in NFL history to do the dirty work for everyone.
PFT CommenterNFL teams should hire Jeff Ireland as an outside consultant to ask prospects the toughest questions at the combine
I think that they should, every team, in order to limit liability in the NFL draft at the combine, they should hire Jeff Ireland as an outside consultant... just to come in and ask those real tough questions.
Segments and Stay Classy
Don Cherry made his way into the Stay Classy segment for his bizarre Word Document rant about Cam Newton's lack of class compared to Aaron Rodgers. PFT Commenter noted that Rodgers’ clean-cut image might just be a byproduct of his corporate responsibilities.
PFT CommenterAaron Rodgers only celebrates with class because he's promoting an insurance company
At least Aaron Rodgers, he promotes an insurance company, which isn't evil. [Newton] should learn how to act as a quarterback... confidence with class.
Finally, the guys checked in on David Ortiz, who is already tweeting at the Boston Globe despite being "retired." Big Cat and Hank are convinced the Big Papi retirement tour was just a elaborate gift-gathering scheme and that he’ll be back the second the weather in Boston breaks 60 degrees.
Big CatDavid Ortiz will return to the MLB in the summer of 2017
I agree with Hank. What do you think? Like mid season? You think he's going to come for the whole season? Summer. He'll take the cold months off and come back.
If David Ortiz comes back, he better bring enough sunglasses to hide the fact that he's definitely not being drug tested right now.
