PMT DB
PMT DB
Michael Rapaport on LeBron's Legacy, NBA Finals, and Cat Killing Allegations
The Cavaliers are officially in the dirt. After a Game 2 shellacking at the hands of the Warriors, Big Cat and PFT Commenter are ready to call the series before the flight even lands in Cleveland. It’s reached the point where the guys actually feel pity for LeBron James because the Warriors have essentially turned into a walking cheat code.
Big CatThe Cavaliers are dead and have no chance in the 2017 NBA Finals
It is Monday, June 5th, and the Cavaliers are dead. They're dead... D-E-A-D, dead. I'm going to say it, and this is going to sound crazy. I actually feel a little bad for the Cavs. It's not fair. Like, what the Warriors are able to do is not fair.
The tactical side of things isn't looking much better for the Land. Big Cat noted that Ty Lue's insistence on playing fast is basically a death wish against a team that features Steph Curry and a locked-in Kevin Durant.
Big CatTy Lue is playing exactly the wrong style of basketball by trying to keep pace with the Warriors
I don't understand, and this might just be an impossible thing to do because the Cavs somehow built a team that can't slow it down anymore because they want to play up-tempo offense themselves, but the fact that they're playing at a pace that just plays right into the Warriors' hands feels pretty stupid by Ty Lue.
With KD looking like the best player on the planet, Hank is ready to officially move the crown. The conversation has shifted from whether Durant made the right move to whether he has completely usurped the throne.
HankThe torch has officially been passed from LeBron James to Kevin Durant
Two, I had two, was the torch is passed. ... It's so much so that it's Kevin Durant's league that we have moved on from torch passing to Kevin Durant's legacy because he joined the Warriors.
PFT is calling for a specific type of ending to this series, hoping for a result that allows the Cavs to save just a shred of dignity while the Warriors celebrate on their own floor.
PFT CommenterThe Warriors will beat the Cavaliers in a five-game 'gentleman's sweep'
I'm pretty confident... I'll give the Cavs one [game]. I want to hear the phrase gentleman's sweep again... I just really like that title.
Michael Rapaport Joins the Show
Recurring guest and noted hater Michael Rapaport joined the program in a "nice lather" to discuss why he has zero sympathy for LeBron James. Rapaport, who watched the second half of the game naked, believes LeBron is simply reaping what he sowed with the creation of the super-team era.
Michael RapaportLeBron James ruined the competitiveness of the NBA and deserves to be swept
This fucking guy created this big three bullshit, this AAU friends and family banana boat in the summer bullshit. He started this shit. And now they created a big four... I hope they fucking swept. And then the nail will be in the fucking coffin. You're not like Mike. You're never going to be like fucking Mike.
The interview devolved into a series of increasingly bizarre MJ vs. LeBron hypotheticals. While Rapaport usually sides with His Airness, he found a few specific scenarios where the King’s brain or the surrounding circumstances might actually give him the edge.
Michael RapaportFive Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain would beat five Kurt Rambises with Michael Jordan's brain
Because it's slower and LeBron clearly has the size advantage... I just ran the numbers on my calculator, and I am going with LeBron on this. [Five Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain versus five with MJ's brain]
Michael RapaportTeam LeBron/Ty Lue would beat Team MJ/Steve Kerr in a hypothetical 3v3 because Steve Kerr's back is too hurt to play
MJ with Steve Kerr when he was a player and Steve Kerr when he's a coach. ... Steve Kerr can't walk... MJ might punch him in the face, too. ... With the Steve Kerr injury, I will have to go reluctantly with the LeBron-Ty Lue team.
Rapaport also addressed the persistent rumors regarding his history with neighborhood felines. Despite his protestations, Big Cat and PFT reminded the audience that once you've admitted to a certain level of involvement in a cat's demise, the "Cat Killer" tag is yours for life. Rapaport is heading to Cleveland for Game 3 and expects a hostile environment, though Big Cat warned him the arena itself feels more like a video game than a basketball cathedral.
Big CatThe Quicken Loans Arena atmosphere feels like a simulated PlayStation 2 game
It's like being in a PlayStation video game. It's weird. It's like everything was made... There's the noise meter and Loudville and these weird... It feels like everything was created in some simulation PlayStation 2 game.
Who's Back and Segments
Who's Back of the Week featured a heavy dose of golf and millennial bashing. Big Cat took aim at our generation for the downfall of casual dining, while also noting the subtle psychological warfare Phil Mickelson is currently waging against Tiger Woods.
Big CatMillennials are responsible for Applebee's going out of business because they dislike chain restaurants
Millennials are being blamed for Applebee's going out of business because they don't like to eat at chain restaurants. So shout out to us. We are at all actually millennials. ... PFT and I are like on the cusp of millennials. We do like chain restaurants.
Big CatPhil Mickelson is skipping the U.S. Open for his daughter's graduation to mock Tiger Woods' lack of a family life
Phil is saying he's not going to play in the U.S. Open because his daughter is giving the commencement speech at her high school graduation. ... Phil's like, oh, I'm not only healthy enough to play in tournaments, I'm just now saying I'm not going to play because I love my family so much. ... [He's] twisting the knife a little bit.
In a brief "Talking Soccer" segment, the guys reacted to Real Madrid's Champions League victory. PFT remains unimpressed by Cristiano Ronaldo's scoring output, preferring the efficiency of NFL legendary kickers.
PFT CommenterMorton Andersen is the best soccer player of all time
Morton Andersen, best soccer player of all time. [Because Ronaldo's goals are only worth one point].
The show wrapped up with a new segment called "Fuck That," focused on the absolute insanity of free solo climbing. PFT couldn't wrap his head around why anyone would choose to exercise for four hours straight without a safety net, which led to a brainstorm for "Alt-X"—a new fitness movement for the lazy man.
PFT CommenterFree solo climbing El Capitan is a nightmare and a terrible way to exercise
The guy that free solo climbed El Capitan, which is like 3,000 feet of just straight up and down granite. Fuck that. ... Fuck exercising for four hours nonstop.
If the Cavs actually pull this off, prepare to hit that unsubscribe button for exactly twenty-four hours.
