PMT DB
PMT DB
Ryen Russillo and Rachel Nichols on Midlife Crises and NBA Chaos
We are officially in the heat of Mount Rushmore season, and the heavy hitters are coming out to play. Before the guests hopped on, Big Cat and PFT Commenter got into the spirit of the NBA Draft by analyzing Michael Porter Jr. comparing himself to Giannis and KD. It is the classic "Secret" strategy: if you lie to yourself and general managers long enough, you eventually become a max-player. PFT is already applying this logic to his own game.
PFT CommenterNBA General Managers are dumb enough to be incepted into doing really weird things
NBA general managers we know from recent experience are dumb enough to be incepted into doing really weird things.
The guys also touched on the World Cup, where Russia has looked like an absolute buzzsaw. PFT is fully convinced that the home-field advantage (and maybe a few helpful whistles) has turned them into a powerhouse against the bottom-tier competition.
PFT CommenterRussia is a wagon in the 2018 World Cup
Russia is a wagon. Russia is really, really good when they're playing against the world's 70th ranked teams. They don't play down to their opponents.
The Mount Rushmore of Midlife Crisis Signs with Ryen Russillo
Ryen Russillo joined the show to tackle a topic he clearly had some personal notes on: signs you are going through a midlife crisis. Russillo opened up with a devastating story about signing up for intermediate MMA classes only to find himself leapfrogging with high school kids while parents watched from the sidelines.
Ryen RussilloJoining MMA classes is a major sign of a midlife crisis
I would say MMA classes are high up there for midlife crisis. And it would happen to me. I was like, you know what? I used to do this a little bit when I was younger... I signed up. I went to the class.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the social side of the crisis, pointing out that your choice of company usually gives you away before your new sports car does. If your entire "crew" was born after the first Bush administration, the red flags are flying.
Big CatHanging out exclusively with dudes half your age is a sign of a midlife crisis
The last one is you start hanging out with younger dudes so you start hanging out with dudes that are half your age. You look around and no one who you went to college with is around you or any of your friends from your past.
Big CatGetting a girlfriend half your age is a telltale sign of a midlife crisis
You got to get the young girlfriend that's like half your age and everyone looks at you like, what the fuck is going on there? Usually happens after a divorce, but that's a telltale sign for a midlife crisis.
NBA Storyline Mount Rushmore with Rachel Nichols
Rachel Nichols made her debut as a recurring Mount Rushmore guest and immediately had to answer for being fifteen minutes late because Bill Walton was busy stealing art off the walls of her set. Once they got into the weirdest storylines of the 2017-18 season, the Colangelo burner account saga was the easy 1.01.
Rachel NicholsColangelo's burner accounts are the weirdest NBA storyline of the season
I still got to go with a general manager in the NBA getting fired for someone in his family, possibly him, burner tweeting his own players. Collar gate.
While J.R. Smith's Finals blunder is the most famous moment of the year, Rachel and Big Cat argued that his culinary assault earlier in the season was actually more bizarre. It takes a special kind of person to weaponize a bowl of chicken tortilla soup against an assistant coach.
Rachel NicholsJ.R. Smith throwing soup at Damon Jones is a weirder storyline than him forgetting the score in the Finals
J.R. Smith for getting the score in the finals is less crazy than J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at an assistant coach in anger. [Big Cat: J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at Damon Jones... that's my number one.]
The conversation also turned toward the bizarre medical mysteries of the year, specifically the #1 overall pick losing his ability to function as a basketball player and the "injury management" drama in San Antonio.
Big CatMarkelle Fultz forgetting how to shoot a basketball is one of the craziest stories in NBA history
Markelle Fultz just forgetting how to shoot a basketball... I feel like now because he seems like he's going to be okay, we've kind of lost how crazy that was. He doesn't play for the majority of the season because he just forgot how to shoot.
Rachel NicholsThe Kawhi Leonard and Spurs 'injury management' saga is one of the weirdest stories of the season
Kawhi Leonard is the next weirdest storyline. He spent large chunks of time away from the team... Tony Parker comes out and says, I had the same injury, but a million times worse... Spurs were not putting him on the injury report as being hurt. They said, return from injury management.
To wrap things up, Big Cat brought his favorite tinfoil hat theory to the table regarding LeBron James' unprecedented durability at age 33. After playing all 82 games, Big Cat is wondering if LeBron found the fountain of youth or just a very talented military trainer.
Big CatLeBron James playing all 82 games at age 33 is highly suspicious
LeBron James, 33 years old, 15 years in the league, played all 82 games. Seems like his durability's going up at 33. Most athletes, their durability goes down. [Implying HGH use].
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank put humanity on the Hot Seat after hearing that scientists are only five years away from turning chickens into dinosaurs, which sounds like a Jimbo waiting to happen. Meanwhile, Big Cat is on the Hot Seat because the internet is dragging him for his gray hair. PFT suggested the Coach K jet-black dye job, but Big Cat seems more likely to just start wearing a hat 24/7.
In a quick look at the "Elam Ending" being discussed by NBA execs like Daryl Morey, Big Cat made it clear that he's had enough of the analytics crowd trying to turn the end of games into a math equation.
Big CatThe 'Elam Ending' is proof that the NBA 'nerds' have gone too far
I don't understand. This is when the nerds have gone too far, that they're coming up with these ideas. [PFT: It's a very smart move by Daryl Morey to change the entire rules of the game just to favor your team.]
Whether it's the draft, the World Cup, or just checking your health through your own natural aromas, it's a big week for self-care.
Big CatSmelling your own farts is a valid form of medical self-care
When I'm smelling my fart, I'm actually... I am going to the doctor. Because, like, you know. You know when you're sick or something's not right. You can tell, basically, by your fart. So, if you care about self-care... you just let me smell my own farts.
Make sure to watch out for Bill Walton if you have any valuable Bill Russell photos hanging in your home.
