Takes

I am significantly better than Hank at 16-inch softball

I am definitely so much better than Hank at 16-inch softball... I guarantee you. I can slap singles. I'm faster than Hank.

The card collecting community is mostly comprised of gatekeeping losers

I had the entire card community come after me and they do not like me and they are fucking losers... it's the gatekeepers. And the guys who are like, 'actually'.

Zach Edey needs to stop bringing the ball down on rebounds to avoid being stripped

somebody needs to pull him aside and be like, youngster, you need to quit taking the ball down on rebounds. Yeah. You put that ball up higher, you're taller than everybody else. 'Cause he's addicted to it. He does it every single time to get stripped.

Nico Harrison is 'so lost' and delusional as the Mavericks GM

He's [Nico Harrison] so lost. It's insane. Yeah... Such a coward move to do. No, no video, no no recordings. What a fucking loser. And we stand with Mavs fans. The guy's a fucking loser. He needs to get outta town.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

The Celtics bench development is just as important as the starters' playing time

We don't have our top guys today. This game matters even more. Because development goes a lot of different ways... you have to deliver every single night when you are a Jalen or a Jason... to give them three, four nights where they have to deliver that to me is just as important to their development as the skill work.

Success in the playoffs isn't about following a specific curriculum or number of games

there's just no one way to go about achieving your goal. Like if you study the rounds leading up to a successful team, there's no curriculum of like, you have to go five this one, you have to go six this one, you can't go seven here, you can't lose game one... being open-minded to knowing that it'll be one of the hardest things that we ever go through together.

I'll die on the hill that sleep talking is not evidence of cheating

Sleep talking is not evidence. I'll die on that hill. Sleep talking is not evidence. No one knows what you're saying in your sleep. No one has any like, people will just sleep talk and they have no recollection of what they were dreaming about or what they were saying.

Mouth tape leads to more restful sleep

I'm a mouth tape guy now. I do feel more rested with mouth tape. It just forces you to breathe out your nose.

I would rather have a set of guys I hate in golf than root for whoever wins

I would rather have a set of guys that I root for and a set of guys I hate than be like, I'm just rooting for whoever wins. And then when they win, I say, what a great story. Rory deserved it.

I prefer Rory winning a Masters through a series of chokes and comebacks rather than a comfortable blowout

If Rory was gonna win the career Grand Slam, I wanted to see him push to the brink. So, and he almost went in the water at 11... the fact that Rory was pushed to the brink made me, even as a hater, I had to tip my cap. Like the career achievement... he choked and he unchoked and he choked. And then he got like, the shot of a lifetime on 15.

Rory McIlroy's Masters win extinguished the hater narrative forever

It's a much harder hate. Yeah. We had to retire it. That's what I'm sad about. We had to retire because Rory, no matter what he is now the sixth all time to have the career Grand slam... He beat all the haters. Including us.

Ludvig Åberg would have had an all-time meltdown if he had been in the final group during his final holes

If he had the lead outright and that's how he ended his round, people would be, let's say he was in the final group today and that's how he finished his round. When he was in contention to win. People would be talking about that as maybe the biggest meltdown outside that French guy [Jean van de Velde] at the open championship. Or Greg Norman.

LIV golfers are no longer serious contenders at the Masters compared to PGA Tour players

I'm done with with thinking that, you know, the live guys can make it happen. The masters... as the years have gone on, yes. It's 'cause they Yes. They all have a ton of money. Yes. And they're all playing 54 holes... they're not pushed the same way.

The NBA Play-In tournament is a ploy for owners to convince fans they made the playoffs

I've said from the beginning it is a ploy for the Jerry Reinsdorf type owners to convince their fan base that they've made it to the playoffs when they have not. I hate the playing tournament... it sucks.

Stan Van Gundy is wrong about Knicks and Sixers fans being fairweather

I couldn't disagree more living in New York for whatever we did, six, seven years. Knicks fans love their team. They just fucking expect, they want them to be good... what Stan Van Gundy is describing. That's just fans.

Nico Iamaleava is receiving bad career advice from his father/agent

I think he's getting bad advice from his, so his dad is his agent, which also complicates thing because when your dad is your agent... he doesn't have to act in good faith... I think it's shortsighted because Nico, if he had a really good year in Josh Heupel's offense could be a high draft pick.

Kidney stone pain is worse than childbirth

Also, the doctor again for the second time told me that this pain is worse than childbirth. Which I will not be saying to any women, but it's true... I've given birth to like 13 kidney stones. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife.

Donald Trump reports his weight as 224 pounds specifically to troll the media and trigger a reaction

He's actually lost weight. He's 224... 6'3" 224. So that is that's RG3... I think that he does that now. Like at first I think he was lying about it. Now he lies about it because he knows that people are going to make fun of him for lying about it.

Wearing an upside-down hat at Augusta is disgusting and beneath the tournament

I kind of agree with people who are like the upside down hat at the, at Augusta's bullshit. It's beneath Augusta. Yeah. And his defense, he was probably hammered... I saw the hat and I was like, this is disgusting. You can't do this to Augusta.

Patrick Reed winning the Masters is great because of the chaos and anger it causes

I like it when Patrick Reed wins the Masters because it makes everybody so mad. I like how angry he makes golf people. So I don't like him, but I do enjoy watching the chaos when he does well.

Mavericks GM Nico Harrison is a coward for not sitting in his real seats since trading Luka Doncic

I also was made aware that Nico Harrison has not sat in his real seats since the trade. You fucking coward. Go back and sit in your seats... You can't make that trade. And they'd be like, oh, I don't sit in my seats anymore.

You cannot fire Michael Malone if he wins two NBA titles in three years

If he then comes back and wins a second NBA championship in three years and your team's never won one before... That is a good thing. Yeah. No matter what like concerns you have about his coaching style or whether it's built for long-term success. If he wins two in three years, you cannot fire him.

International hockey tournaments like the Olympics are not legitimate without Russia involved

The worst part about four nations and the Olympics next year. Do you guys know? No, it's no Russia. Oh. So nothing is really that legit because best on, best on best hockey? Like you need Russia involved. It's just, you know what I mean?

Houston was uncomfortable not playing from behind in the title game

I think that Houston was uncomfortable not playing from behind. I feel like Houston had had to lead the whole game and they were like, wait, we're, we're usually the ones that are, that are coming back at the last minute.

Will Richard was the real player of the game for Florida in the National Championship

Walter Clayton got player of the tournament player of the Final Four, which he deserved... But Will Richard was the player of the game for this game. And it was him keeping them afloat in the first half with his threes. And then if you look at the final possession, his on-ball defense in the final possession is where like all the timing for Houston got screwed up.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

Duke losing is still a bigger story than Florida winning the National Championship

I think the story from this final four though, if we're gonna think back, put yourself in a time machine 10 years from now, Duke, Duke losing it is still the, it still the story of the final four. Yes. That I I will die on that hill.

The 2025 Final Four will be remembered as the Final Four of Chokes

I think it'll be remembered as the, the final four of chokes. [Cooper Flagg] choked. [Kelvin Sampson]... this would've been 800. Brutal.

The Florida championship win means college basketball is alive and well

It turns out that the only thing that we could say after the tournament was over if Duke had won: NIL ruined college basketball. And since Florida won and they didn't have freshmen, it's college basketball alive and well.

The Nuggets firing Michael Malone right before the playoffs makes no sense

I would keep the coach that you're winning right before the Playoffs... your NBA title coach, the only one you have in your history of your franchise Right before the Playoffs. Makes no sense.

Nikola Jokic definitely signed off on the Nuggets firing Michael Malone because he doesn't want to be annoyed by a coach

Jokic had to sign off on this, right?... with Jokic, I feel like you, he's always teetering on the edge of being like, 'You know, I don't really like playing basketball. I'd rather just hang out with my horses.' You don't wanna piss 'em off. So I feel like you have to have that conversation with 'em.

It is more likely that Sydney Sweeney DMs Hank than it is for Augusta to invite him to play

You work on the, at the number one sports podcast in America. You think it's more likely that Sydney Sweeney [messes with] you than Augusta invites you?... I kind of agree with them. No one plays at Augusta. It's impossible. I kind of agree with them.

I'm the freshest person in the Masters field

I am the freshest person here. I have not played a weekend in over like a month and a half and I, I have been getting more rest, more time on my couch. Like all these guys are gonna be exhausted by the time the tournament comes and I'm just cruising on it.

Tiger Woods is no longer a 'force of nature' in golf

Tiger Woods such a force of nature in golf for the last 20 years... this does feel like the first year where it's, I don't wanna say it's over 'cause I hope he plays again, but it does feel kind of over where it's like, you know, the Achilles injury and he already was already banged up and the leg problems. Is it do, can you feel that vibe where it's like that force of nature is no longer here?

White Lotus Season 3 is the worst season of the series

I'd put it clearly number three. I think clearly number three, I think season, I'm gonna go season two. Yeah. Then season one. Barely. And then clearly season three.

The Ratliff fake-out suicide arc in White Lotus Season 3 was annoying and repetitive

The Ratliff story was, was one of my biggest issues... that was like the sixth time we had a dream sequence slash something happened where they tried to fake us out that he was committing suicide or killing his family. Enough of it.

The twist of Walton Goggins killing his father in the White Lotus finale was 'cheap'

Walton Goggins in like the last 10 minutes kills the guy. And then the other woman's like, 'why would you do that? He's your father.' It's like, come on... That felt a little ham-fisted. It was just a little cheap.

Blackhawks owner Jerry Reinsdorf is a piece of shit

I've been watching all the games illegally this year. Good for you. I have a workaround that I'm, I will not tell, but I have a workaround that I've been watching the games illegally because [Jerry Reinsdorf] is such a piece of shit. Yeah. I don't wanna give him money. He sucks.

Alex Ovechkin's mom is terrifying and could definitely beat me up

His mom, I'm terrified of Ovie's mom by the way. I think she could beat the fuck outta me. Probably, yeah.

Walter Clayton Jr. is so raw that you forget his first name is Walter

Walter Clayton Jr. is so raw, you forget his first name is Walter. [T Black] replied with a bunch of laughing emojis, but that's the facts. He was making shots that you can't really [stop]... he's just doing shit that is on a different level.

Elijah Martin is currently the best dunker in college basketball

Elijah Martin, he might be the best dunker in college basketball right now. That's how I evaluate NBA talent based on how you dunk in college. Elijah Martin, take him one.

Cooper Flagg does not have the clutch gene

I agree with Skip Bayless and Big Cat in that Cooper Flagg probably doesn't have the clutch gene. If I'm drafting number one in the NBA draft and I'm, I don't know, the Utah Jazz, I I would pass on 'em. Yeah, I would. And let whoever is picking after take them. Like, 'cause you're not gonna win with 'em.

Duke's failure to make the championship game is due to their lack of a true point guard

Turns out you need a point guard. An actual point guard. As soon as Houston started putting the pressure on inbounding the ball, [you need] a point guard who can bring the ball up the court... Proctor, a true point guard, being like, 'I got this' as the worst free throw shooter on the court for Duke was absolutely insane. Cost them the game.

Coach K is secretly happy that Duke lost because it protects his legacy

If we had true serum Coach K's happy. He doesn't want the next guy to win a title in his third year... John Scheyer, the, the, the school has not dropped off in terms of a level of basketball. But what Coach K has done to win titles gets magnified even more of. That's really hard to do because John Scheyer couldn't do it with one of the best analytically best teams of all time.

Ja Morant's addiction to fake guns is the best addiction of all time

Ja Morant can't quit holding fake guns. It's the, it's the best addiction of all time. I respect the hell outta that... the NBA coming down on him for his fake guns is bullshit. Just ignoring all the history of Ja Morant with real guns. I love that shit. It's behavior that like a five-year-old would do.

I am an asshole at times, but I won't change my coaching style because it produces historic success

I'm an asshole at times. I mean that's, you know, it's just who I am... I don't wanna change a whole lot of things about the way that I go about my coaching and my fire and my intensity because it has produced historic success at UConn the last couple of years.

Houston is a team of wolves led by a wolf

Houston is just a bunch of wolves, man led by a wolf... the way they get after it, you, you can't prepare for it. It's like a pass rush that just the quarterback is gonna be rattled and it kills, it kills your transition offensive game because it's hard for you to even run on them because getting a defensive rebound feels like survival.

People will discover in my book that I am smarter and darker than they think I am

I think that people are going to discover that I'm smarter than people think that I am. And that also I'm a lot darker than people think that I am. I'm very honest in the book about my struggles and about my shortcomings and the difficulties that I've had... This dude really is goth in his soul.

Cliff Kingsbury buying a one-way ticket to Thailand is the horniest move an adult male can make

I just keep thinking to myself like, this is the place that Cliff Kingsbury bought a one-way ticket to. I think that's the horniest move that an adult male can do. Is to buy a one-way ticket to Thailand.