Takes

I can sense the 'aura of success' or failure in a person before they even speak.

I can actually tell now when they step out on that carpet... and at that moment I can sense their aura. And I know exactly whether we have winners or losers. They don't even have to say anything. I'm right a hundred percent. I can now at this point sense the aura of success or losers.

Deontay Wilder was gassed because he had to walk through the MGM Grand for 10 minutes

Watching Deontay Wilder have to walk through the entirety of the MGM Grand... it was no joke 10 minutes of him just walking through the through the back rooms. He was walking through a kitchen at one point I said right then and there I was like he is going to be gassed because that is everyone knows that feeling when you're in a casino and you've been walking around the casino for like maybe 20 30 minutes and you have a moment we like wait. I kind of need to sit down.

Jameis Winston is a future Hall of Famer

If you learn more from a loss and interception than you do from throwing a touchdown or winning a game like [Jameis Winston] is going to be—that's why he's a future Hall of Famer. He's just storing up all the knowledge right now.

The NFL should eliminate the week of Christmas from the schedule

All Christmas week, just eliminate that week on the schedule of NFL football because you can watch bowl games. There's NBA Christmas and it will make you force you to spend more time with your family... and also you look like—this is also a win for NFL where they can say, 'We give the players Christmas week off.'

All screenwriting books are absolute bullshit

I just said for the fuck of it one day: All screenwriting books are bullshit. All of them. Read screenplays, watch movies, and let those be your guide... if you have to go to a Radisson for a seminar, it's fake. It's fake.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will have five coaches in an 18-month span

I want them to fire their interim between the end of the season because they're going for the record. I think this is their fourth... I need them to get five coaches in like the span of 18 months. I think that's absolutely a hundred percent likely to happen.

A third of the NFL franchises don't actually care about winning a Super Bowl

There's probably no joke like a third of the NFL just doesn't want to do it. They just want to be in the NFL and it's like 75 percent of baseball that really doesn't care about that either... hire smart people, step away and run it like a professional franchise.

The NFL has audio from the Miles Garrett/Mason Rudolph incident but is refusing to release it.

The NFL should just they have to have they've got out here. Now, they know they've got audio... I think the NFL had audio because you'll remember they have audio that they play like every Tuesday on Showtime... and their excuse was they have a guy who pushes a button to stop recording in between plays. That doesn't exist.

The Chicago Bulls would have won the 2012 NBA Championship if Derrick Rose hadn't suffered an ACL injury.

If Derrick Rose doesn't go down... I think we're holding the trophy. We're the best team in the league. We got the job in my mind still to this day. There's no question. Nobody was fucking with us.

Joakim Noah is an NBA Hall of Famer.

There you are one of only five players to have a final four MVP, all-nba first team, all-defensive first team... Hakeem and Anthony Davis, Bill Walton, Jerry West... I think you're a Hall of Famer.

Jameis Winston's potential with Lasik surgery is limitless

The guy threw for 30/30 and 5,000 yards and he's blind—or was blind. I know we joke about being a future Hall of Famer, but just think about this... Could you imagine if next year he goes like 50 and 5 and is the MVP and takes the Bucks deeply run and everyone just sitting there saying you can see now? You can actually play the position because you can see. This is the most Jameis Winston story ever.

Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Jimmy Garoppolo

I was going to say Andy Dalton greater than Jimmy G... If they [the Patriots] had Andy Dalton, they probably would be winning as well.

It is Duke's year and they will win the national championship

It's Duke's year. I'm officially ready to say it. Like, it is Duke's year. I know that I joked about it last year, Hank, but I'm telling you, man-to-man right now, I trust only Duke to win the national championship this year... Duke is definitely going to win. They're definitely going to win it all.

Carson Wentz is an MVP-caliber quarterback and better than Dak Prescott

Carson's great... you can't look at the numbers that the guy put up... he put the team on his back... [Is he better than Dak?] Absolutely. Yes. Not a hesitation there.

There is a 90% chance I will sell $1,000,000 in Zillion Beers merch by Sunday

[What percent chance do you think you have to make a million?] A zillion? Yeah. Actually, 90%.

The atmosphere at Audi Field for the DC Defenders was better than any Redskins game in the last 20 years

I'm going to say like the atmosphere in DC at Audi Field was better. It was more fun than any Redskins game that I've been to in the last like 20 years.

Russell Wilson looks like a baby caterpillar dipped in Vaseline in his latest photoshoot

[Russell Wilson] looks like a baby caterpillar, those fuzzy baby caterpillars dipped in Vaseline.

Tennessee will never be 'back'

Tennessee is like—no, it's not like... Tennessee will never be back, but we're not like threatened by Tennessee saying it. No, I love burnt orange.

Al Horford might be a locker room cancer

It could be Al, though. I mean, he was part of the Celtics last year. They were a locker room disaster. People think it was Kyrie. They're a locker room disaster. What's a common denominator?

The Dodgers trading for David Price is just trading for a bigger choker than Clayton Kershaw

They literally traded for a bigger choker in David Price. ... the chances are David Price will probably choke before Clayton [Kershaw] does. They're going to be choking each other. It's going to be some real kinky shit.

Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the College Football Playoff

Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the college football playoffs. Their performances, I'm sick of it. ... Every year, halfway through the season, Oklahoma loses a game. ... and then they start playing defense. Everyone's like, you know what? Oklahoma's defense, not that bad. Not true. They are still bad.

U.S. NFL players would dominate Olympic Handball within months

You play a sport that if we decided to stop playing all the other sports, there would be a lot of guys better than what you're doing. ... If we were to take our best NFL players and put them in rugby uniforms... we would be much, much better. ... I'm not saying that I would be a gold medal handballist. I'd be probably a top pro. [Baker] his arm is better than any handballist's arm.

The XFL will eventually take over the NFL

Mark Trestman is good in leagues that don't really matter yet. ... Yeah, because the XFL is going to take over.

The recent NBA drama between the Warriors and Grizzlies was likely scripted

I'm convinced that there was a script going around to the Golden State Warriors to the Memphis Grizzlies... This is like sweeps week. Everyone in the NBA knew now's our time to strike and they did it with a perfect timing... It was almost a little bit too perfect and too coincidental.

The Miami Heat will make the Eastern Conference Finals

In the PFT basketball prediction Market, I think the Heat are going to make the Eastern Conference Finals.

The Jaguars are only playing back-to-back London games to pay for a stadium renovation in Jacksonville

What's actually happening is the Jaguars are doing two games back to back just so that they can have enough money to totally redo their stadium in Jacksonville... Better Fan Experience... Listen honey, I'm not I'm only having sex with this other woman so that she can teach me new ways to not make you come right?

Urban Meyer would be a great fit at Michigan State so he can beat Michigan from another angle

How bad would it be if Urban Meyer went there? Oh, that'd be so fun and beat the fuck out of Michigan from the other angle. Yes, you know the thought has occurred to him in the last six hours.

Major League Baseball is 'fucked' because they restrict highlights on social media

Major League Baseball because they are very strict about what you can post on social media. They're fucked like you can't you can't take a highlight... their logic is they want to monetize all those views through their own proprietary feeds. The NBA is the exact opposite.

LeBron James is using his name to help the Knicks front office as leverage for his son's future

Rich Paul being the president of the Knicks... LeBron James being like hey use my name to get my son drafted... This is LeBron James being like hey use my name to get my son drafted... LeBron James never plays for the Knicks. No, absolutely no no chance in hell.

General Managers and Owners should be allowed to call timeouts from the booth

By the way, I think that owners and general managers should be able to call timeouts from the booth. I think that'd be great, a nice little addition to the game. Just get in the game.

The 49ers should trade for Kirk Cousins to replace Jimmy Garoppolo

Do they try to make a swap with Kirk Cousins and just say like, hey. [Big Cat: That is who Kyle Shanahan wants.] Originally, make a swap. Be like, hey, both these guys make a lot of money. It's not working out as well as we had hoped maybe.

Michael Wilbon's 'Lordy' tweet was just a way to hide that he was horny online

That Lordy is, I got my pants out. I got my pants off, and I'm cranking it right now. That Lordy means shit. Like, Michael Wilbon was undressed when J-Lo started bouncing her booty around.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back because of Ed Reed and the Super Bowl

Either way, the U's back. Danny Boy Cane's got them covered... Recruits see that night game at Hard Rock Cafe Stadium in Miami Gardens, and they think the U might be back.

Coach K yelling at Duke fans is a great example of leadership and loyalty

I think it was a recruiting thing, and I think if you're a prospective player and you see that, you see a coach that fights for his guys, even if they're on the other team, that is a great leader. It was because of loyalty. It's a brotherhood for life, and that's a great example of showing that.

Deebo Samuel will score the first touchdown of Super Bowl 54

I'm also going to make a bold prediction. I think that the Niners are going to hit them with a play-action bomb on the first drive... It's going to Debo [Samuel]. He's going to Debo for six. First score Debo Samuel for six points.

Tom Brady will sign with the Tennessee Titans in free agency

PFT's fire fest is he has to be the one to break news to you that Tom Brady's going to the Titans. Giselle was allegedly touring a school, an all-boys high school in Nashville, Tennessee. Connecting the dots.

I am officially 5'10"

All I wanted from that interaction [with police] at the time was just to have my information put in an official police record That says that I'm 5'10". And they were never going to allow that. Because at that time, from that moment on, I am officially 5'10".

I would consider playing for the Jets if Sam Darnold got mono again and they offered $20M

$20 million, one year, New York Jets quarterback. Gosh, that's a lot of money. We'd have to have a conversation. [Breaking news], Jay Cutler, considering playing next year for the Jets In the case of Sam Darnold getting mono again and them throwing a ridiculous amount of money.

The United States would win Olympic Gold in handball if they fielded a team of pro athletes

I do want to get a team together for the Olympics. I think it's handball... I guarantee we can put a team together that can win gold. Guaranteed. Just from pure, arm speed. I don't think guys in other countries [could compete].

Claiming a bad system or bad teammates ruined your career is just an excuse

That sounds like excuses to me. I mean, you got to figure it out, right? If you really have an obsession to figure it out. You will figure it out, right and every puzzles constructed differently... You just got to figure out Your own puzzles.

Shaq admitted he used to coast through the summer because he knew I was training

When we sat down we did the interview together. He finally He copped to the fact that after we won championships, she's like I can just relax and Coastal with the summer because I know I got a teammate who's going to be training 8 10 hours a day and I was like see that's the BSS yet that would piss and shit.

Zion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat

He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.

Coach K is a bad X's and O's guy for not letting Zion shoot threes at Duke

Huge indictment on Coach K as an X's and O's guy. [Zion] hit four [threes] in a row... That's another feather in the cap of old Roy Williams. He would never screw up his prospects like that.

The greatest feeling in the world is hunting and catching a human being

Hemingway said that the greatest thing in the world is to hunt another human being and catch him. So that's the greatest feeling you could ever have.

Derek Jeter was only the second-best shortstop on the Yankees

Second best shortstop on that Yankees team. Behind A-Rod.

The Bears ruined Mitch Trubisky

Actually, Will Brinson had a hot take... that if Mitch Trubisky got drafted by the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes got drafted by the Bears, Mitch Trubisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes. So it's an institutional failure, which I actually agree with that kind of. Bears make every quarterback shit.

Tom Brady going to the Raiders would make them the most liked team in the NFL

Brady, I wouldn't even be mad if he went to the Raiders. And if he went to the Raiders, everyone would be rooting for the Vegas Raiders. If he decides to go to the Raiders, which would be shocking, that team would be electric.

Mitch Trubisky is going to be a great quarterback

Mitch Trubisky is going to be great. I mean, he had good spurts, right? I mean, I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet, but he has a lot of potential... Mitch is definitely not bad.

LeBron James blaming his son for a poor performance is a new low

LeBron blames his son. A new low. A new low. Even for LeBron. He has gone as low as possible. He has blamed his son on his poor performance on Monday night. He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament.

I am officially worried about Aaron Rodgers' mental health and engagement after the NFC Championship loss

I'm officially worried about [Aaron Rodgers'] mental health. He looked disinterested, disengaged... he just looked like somebody that has been fucking Brett Favre for a while, just like a completely blank look on his face. He was just not impressed, not happy to even be there.