PMT DB
PMT DB
Dog the Bounty Hunter on Catching Fugitives and Zion's Electric Debut
We’ve got a massive Friday show to get everyone geared up for Super Bowl week, and it starts with a reality check for the NBA. Zion Williamson finally made his debut for the Pelicans, and the reactions were a total rollercoaster. If you were like the guys and checked out early, you missed the greatest three-minute heater in rookie history. Big Cat was ready to pull the trigger on the bust label based on the first half alone.
Big CatZion Williamson is a bonafide bust
Zion is a bust. Parentheses: I went to sleep at halftime.
There was a lot of talk about Zion's "big bones," but Big Cat is worried that New Orleans might be the most dangerous city in America for a guy with his specific metabolism.
Big CatZion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat
He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.
Zion ended up knocking down four straight triples, which led PFT to realize that Duke might have been holding back a generational marksman just to let Coach K run his traditional offense.
PFT CommenterCoach K is a bad X's and O's guy for not letting Zion shoot threes at Duke
Huge indictment on Coach K as an X's and O's guy. [Zion] hit four [threes] in a row... That's another feather in the cap of old Roy Williams. He would never screw up his prospects like that.
Eli Manning's Legacy and Retirement
Eli Manning officially called it a career this week, sparking the inevitable Hall of Fame debate. PFT threw out a list of "very good" quarterbacks that might ruffle some feathers in Green Bay, specifically regarding a certain guy who wears number 12.
PFT CommenterAaron Rodgers is not a great quarterback
Eli, Romo, Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler. These are all people that are not great quarterbacks, but were very good for a long time.
While the stats are a bit of a mess, the rings speak for themselves. However, Big Cat pointed out that Eli’s entire bronze bust candidacy hinges on the specific opponent he took down in those two Super Bowls.
Big CatEli Manning's Hall of Fame case relies entirely on beating the Patriots
Does Eli have a— is his legacy seen differently, and is he a surefire Hall of Famer if he beats teams not named the Patriots in the Super Bowl? No. Because that is really when you boil down what Eli is... he had two moments where he beat the best coach and the best quarterback in the NFL history.
As Eli moves into the next phase of his life, Big Cat has a very specific vision for what "Retirement Eli" looks like. It involves a lot of model trains, chaperone duties, and backyard pool physics.
Big CatEli Manning will be the world's greatest suburban stay-at-home dad
Eli's going to be the world's greatest suburban dad. Can't you see it? Can't you see him being a great assistant coach for his kid's soccer team? He's going to chaperone a lot of field trips... I feel like Eli is going to be a great stay-at-home dad and every day all the kids come over and he spends the entire afternoon throwing them in the pool.
Dog the Bounty Hunter Returns
Recurring guest Dog the Bounty Hunter joined the show to discuss his hunt for a fugitive in California and his desire to get a second season of his show greenlit. Dog broke down the utility of his gear, specifically his new pepper ball guns that hit like a Mike Tyson punch, and shared his Hemingway-esque philosophy on the hunt.
Dog the Bounty HunterThe greatest feeling in the world is hunting and catching a human being
Hemingway said that the greatest thing in the world is to hunt another human being and catch him. So that's the greatest feeling you could ever have.
Things took a turn into the judicial system, where Dog proposed a very cost-effective solution for cleaning up the courts. Forget the expensive trials and the lawyers; Dog wants to go back to the "nitty-gritty" with some chemical assistance.
Dog the Bounty HunterTruth serum would fix the American justice system
Hit him with truth serum for $69.50. You find out everything. So I think that is real justice. And we don't do it enough. Because the lawyers got to make money, the courts have to make money... let's get down to the real nitty gritty. Hit him with that and find out what's really going on.
Naturally, the conversation shifted to the biggest conspiracy in the world. PFT isn't buying the official story on Jeffrey Epstein, and he wants Dog to lead the charge on the investigation.
PFT CommenterJeffrey Epstein is still alive
We need to find Jeffrey Epstein. Because he's still alive. That motherfucker's still alive. Let's do that. Dog the Bounty Hunter Season Two: On the Trail of Jeffrey... there's no way this guy's dead. This guy is overseas somewhere.
Fyre Fest and Derek Jeter
To wrap up the week, the guys hit Fyre Fest, where PFT is officially terrified of the news coming out of China regarding the coronavirus.
PFT CommenterWe are 'all fucked' because of the coronavirus
The coronavirus is active. It is live. It's over in China right now. They've shut down cities. They've quarantined entire cities... And I've seen the movie Outbreak recently. So I just think we're all fucked.
Big Cat's Fyre Fest is his own brain, which is currently being melted by a new Netflix reality show called "The Circle." It sounds like the most mind-numbing concept ever put to film, yet he’s already two episodes deep and can’t turn it off.
Big Cat'The Circle' on Netflix is the worst show ever created
I started watching the show The Circle on Netflix, and it's the worst show that's ever been created, and I started watching it, and I can't stop. It is horrendous. ... You say to yourself, I'm getting significantly dumber as I watch this show. And then you keep on watching.
We also got the Hall of Fame results for Derek Jeter, who fell just one vote short of being unanimous. While Jeter is heading to Cooperstown, Big Cat and PFT made sure to remind everyone that the Hall is a bit of a sham as long as the greatest hitter of our generation is still on the outside looking in.
Big CatThe Baseball Hall of Fame is erroneous without Barry Bonds
The fact that Barry Bonds isn't in the Hall of Fame makes the Hall of Fame completely erroneous to me. Or Roger Clemens. Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. He should be in the Hall of Fame.
Before letting everyone go, our good friend Uncle Chaps stopped by to read some of the most brutal listener roasts we've ever received while doing his best Big Time Tommy impression.
Go buy some TikTok stock and take it easy.
