Enron is due for a massive comeback

A little investment tip, Enron. It's bound to bounce back. It has to. It is due.

Zion Williamson is a bonafide bust

Zion is a bust. Parentheses: I went to sleep at halftime.

Zion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat

He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.

If Messi wins the 2026 World Cup, he is the GOAT of all sports GOATs

So if he wins the World Cup again, I'm prepared to say he might be the GOAT GOAT. Like the GOAT of GOATs. Right now I think Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali are both tied for the GOAT GOAT... But Messi could get on the Mount Rushmore of GOAT GOATs.

France will beat England in the World Cup third-place game, giving England the all-time record for third-place game losses.

England has, they've got the possibility to set the all time record for most third place game losses. Right now they're tied with Brazil with two. If they lose another one, then that would mean that they have that record on their own. And if you look back through history or at least recent history, three of the last five champions of the World Cup go on to win the third place game the next year. So that would mean that France would win this third place game and England would etch their names into history.

Warde Manuel is about to be fired as the Michigan Athletic Director

I think Warde Manuel's about to get fired... They've leaked a few things to the media regarding the investigation and in the things that they've leaked, they've squarely pointed their finger at Warde Manuel and been like Warde knew the entire time.