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Win
Jan 24, 2020
#4139
Big CatBig Cat

Zion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat

He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.

Weight and conditioning became recurring issues throughout Zion's early career, often sidelined by injury.

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Loss
Jan 24, 2020
#25302
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Enron is due for a massive comeback

A little investment tip, Enron. It's bound to bounce back. It has to. It is due.

Enron filed for bankruptcy in 2001 and its stock is worthless; it is not bouncing back.
Loss
Jan 24, 2020
#4138
Big CatBig Cat

Zion Williamson is a bonafide bust

Zion is a bust. Parentheses: I went to sleep at halftime.

Zion had an incredible second half in his debut and became an All-Star, proving this satirical take incorrect.
Loss
Jan 24, 2020
#4140
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Coach K is a bad X's and O's guy for not letting Zion shoot threes at Duke

Huge indictment on Coach K as an X's and O's guy. [Zion] hit four [threes] in a row... That's another feather in the cap of old Roy Williams. He would never screw up his prospects like that.

Zion only shot 33% from three at Duke on limited attempts; Coach K's decision was based on Zion's elite inside game. Declaring him a 'bad X's and O's guy' is a satirical stretch.

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Void
May 15, 2026
#30496
Big CatBig Cat

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

Whether it's the 'best day ever' is a matter of personal opinion and game quality.
Loss
May 15, 2026
#30498
Big CatBig Cat

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the [Avs]. Pretty good bet to the [Avs]. Pretty good it's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the [Avs].

The Avalanche were eliminated in the second round by the Stars in 2026.
Void
May 15, 2026·Zoo Trades
#30500
Big CatBig Cat

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.

Evaluating zoo conservation efforts through the lens of a sports trade is inherently comedic and subjective.