PMT DB
PMT DB
Xavier O'Callaghan on the Jay Cutler Handball Debate and the Astros' Terrible Apology
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone except the Houston Astros. The show kicks off with Big Cat and PFT trying to process the absolute train wreck that was the Astros' spring training press conference. Jim Crane went out there and essentially tried to argue that while they definitely cheated, it didn't actually help them win anything. It was a masterclass in how to make a scandal ten times worse by being defensive instead of just taking the L.
Big CatJim Crane's apology somehow made the Astros' cheating scandal significantly worse
The Houston Astros have finally faced the media and I think they somehow made it significantly worse. They're all forgiven. This was a great apology. ... The fact that the owner [Jim Crane] went out there and basically put his foot in his mouth right off the bat and said like, 'yeah we cheated, but the cheating didn't make us win the World Series.' Not a big deal.
PFT has a simple solution for the record books that involves his favorite team getting some retroactive hardware. Since the Nats were the only ones to actually take down the cheating regime in a World Series, the logic is sound.
PFT CommenterThe Washington Nationals should be awarded the 2017 World Series title
I actually think that [the Nationals] should get the Astros' 2017 World Series because they beat the team that [was cheating]. They acquire the Astros' cheating World Series because they beat them while they're—the only team that has ever beaten the cheating Astros in a World Series is the Washington Nationals.
Speaking of transformations, Jameis Winston finally got LASIK surgery. The man who threw 30 interceptions while being legally blind is now walking around with 20/20 vision. Big Cat is already looking toward the Hall of Fame, assuming Jameis doesn't lose his physical comedy edge now that he can actually see the linebackers he's throwing to.
Big CatJameis Winston is a future Hall of Famer now that he had LASIK surgery
The guy threw for 30/30 and 5,000 yards and he's blind—or was blind. I know we joke about being a future Hall of Famer, but just think about this. Jameis Winston got LASIK surgery and he can finally see. Next stop, Canton.
The guys also check in on the XFL after Week 1. While Big Cat is already getting a little bored with the conservative play-calling, PFT is still fully bought in, mostly because he thinks his kicking highlights are going to land him back in the big leagues.
PFT CommenterI might get an NFL call-up as a 'camp leg' based on my XFL kicking film
I'm also thinking that there's an outside chance that with what I've put on film already and what I will continue to put on film, maybe I get a call for a training camp for an NFL team. Maybe I'm a camp leg... They need camp legs. I'm not worse than Vinatieri. I'm a better kicker than the greatest kicker of all time.
To settle the greatest debate in the history of the show, Olympic handball legend Xavier O'Callaghan joined the program. Xavier, or "Oka," was remarkably patient while Big Cat and PFT tried to explain why Jay Cutler and a group of American athletes could win gold with just a few months of practice. Oka didn't mince words when it came to Jay's confidence levels.
Xavier O'CallaghanJay Cutler is 'insane' to think he could win a handball gold medal in three months
He is insane. He cannot win an Olympic medal training two or three months. You have the potential to be amazing athletes and compete at a high level, but when you want to cook that food, you need the technique... It takes time to be able to be a professional and very good handball player. In the short term, it's impossible. In the long term, it takes years.
Big Cat tried to pivot the argument toward specific athletes, suggesting that some American stars have the raw tools to skip the years of technical training required in Europe. Specifically, he thinks a certain legendary goalkeeper would be a plug-and-play superstar.
Big CatTim Howard could become a world-class handball goalkeeper within one year
If we had Tim Howard playing goalkeeper on our team, I feel like he could become a world-class handball goalkeeper within a year because he's got all the technique right there.
PFT took it a step further, leaning into the American exceptionalism that has fueled this entire handball beef from the beginning.
PFT CommenterAmerican athletes are superior to Europeans in every sport
I think just for the record, if Europe's listening to me, America has superior athletes to Europeans. That's just a fact. We just do. Every single one of them is better than every European in every sport that any European has tried to play.
The show wraps up with a look ahead to NBA All-Star Weekend in Chicago. Big Cat is dreading the "LeBron-ification" of the game and the various gimmicks being added to the contests.
Big CatThe NBA All-Star Weekend is ruined by gimmicks and 'LeBron-ification'
The LeBron-ification of the NBA really is actually the John-ification because he's terrible at drafting... And the Three-Point Contest has a four-pointer now. It's like, what is this Ice Cube-ification? I feel like an old man yelling at a cloud... It's not my NBA.
Before letting the people go for the holiday weekend, the guys brainstorm how to get some of that Mike Bloomberg ad money and answer a very specific Jersey Shore themed Guys on Chicks. Big Cat offered some harsh reality for anyone trying to maintain a long-distance relationship during a Belmar summer.
Big CatNo one is in a committed relationship at the Jersey Shore during summer
Here's the thing about the Jersey Shore is you fall in love with clubs. You don't fall in love with other people... No one's in a relationship at the Jersey Shore, or inside of a Real World house.
If Jameis Winston throws for 6,000 yards next year, we are officially a LASIK podcast.
