PMT DB
PMT DB
Von Miller on Running Back Dreams, Super Bowl Stories, and LeBron Blames
The Super Bowl matchup is set between the Chiefs and the 49ers, which means we are officially entering the golden era of storylines. Big Cat and PFT are already bracing for the inevitable tidal wave of redemption arcs for Kyle Shanahan and Andy Reid. While the national media will focus on the play-calling, the guys are more interested in the legacy implications for the Big Red. Big Cat isn't holding back on where Andy Reid ranks among the all-time greats compared to some other gold jacket holders.
Big CatAndy Reid is a better coach than Bill Cowher
If Bill Cowher's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reid should be in the Hall of Fame. Andy Reid's way better of a coach than Bill Cowher. I'm sorry, but that's a fact.
PFT CommenterAndy Reid is a Hall of Famer even if he loses Super Bowl LIV
Is he a Hall of Famer if he loses? [Big Cat] Yes. [PFT Commenter] I think he is too.
Beyond the coaches, the conversation turned to the sheer physical force that is the 49ers' tight end. While Travis Kelce is a superstar, Big Cat and PFT have plant their flag on Greg—err, George—Kittle being the true apex predator of the position.
Big CatGeorge Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL
Best current tight end in the league. Travis Kelce or George Kittle. It's Kittle. Greg [George] Kittle. It's definitely Greg [George] Kittle.
There is also the matter of Joe Montana, who played for both franchises. PFT expects Montana to be walking around Miami like a NASCAR driver covered in sponsors, but Big Cat has a very specific expectation for Joe's loyalty during the coin flip.
Big CatIt would be offensive if Joe Montana roots for anyone but the 49ers in the Super Bowl
If you're a 49ers fan and Joe Montana doesn't say I'm rooting for the 49ers, that would piss me off... If Joe Montana shows up to the Super Bowl wearing anything but a 49ers shirt, that would piss me off.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank leads off Hot Seat with the absolute disaster that is UNC basketball, noting that Roy Williams sounds like he’s ready to meet his maker before the Tar Heels win another game. Meanwhile, PFT is monitoring the iguana situation in Miami, as the reptiles are literally raining from the trees due to a cold snap.
On the Cool Throne, the NFL Draft in Las Vegas is promising a stage in the middle of the Bellagio fountains. Big Cat is already envisioning a scenario where a first-round pick’s life changes while he's soaking wet.
Big CatThe 2020 NFL Draft stage in Las Vegas will lead to players falling in the water
The NFL Draft is going to have a stage in the Bellagio pool, and players are going to be transported in a boat... Well, there should definitely be props on which player is going in the water.
PFT also took a moment to remind everyone that Tim Tebow finally had sex after getting married, though he remains skeptical of Tebow’s overall athletic career choices, specifically his stint in minor league baseball.
PFT CommenterTim Tebow is better at baseball than Michael Jordan was
Better than Jordan at baseball, yeah. Oh, the stats will bear me out.
Von Miller in Studio
Recurring guest and Super Bowl MVP Von Miller stopped by the Cash App studio to talk about the state of the Broncos and his burgeoning chicken empire. Von is fully bought in on Drew Lock, describing the young QB as a "rock star" who already has the locker room in the palm of his hand.
Von MillerDrew Lock is a rock star leader for the Broncos
We got a rock star. Rock star. We got a rock star, like owning out the football field. I saw his demeanor with the other rookies... he was like the leader of the rookies off top from day one. And everybody just kind of gravitated towards him.
Von also touched on the viral moment from the National Championship involving Odell Beckham Jr. handing out cash to LSU players. While the NCAA is busy clutching pearls, Von has a theory that OBJ was just playing the cameras with some high-quality prop money.
Von MillerOdell Beckham Jr. probably handed out fake money at the National Championship as a stunt
But it was fake money. It was fake money. No, it was fake money... Knowing Odell [Beckham Jr.] personally, he probably—it was probably just like a stunt. Like he knew the camera was right there... He probably did that on purpose, like gave him the fake money to like make everybody go crazy.
However, the biggest news from the interview was a legitimate business arrangement. Von has been pitching himself as a goal-line weapon for years, and he’s finally found the representation to make it happen. Big Cat and PFT negotiated a deal where Von will personally subsidize the show if he ever gets to cross the goal line on offense.
Von MillerI will pay the Pardon My Take hosts $1,000 each for every offensive touchdown I score next season
If you score a touchdown on offense... every single touchdown you score, you give each of us $1,000. [Von Miller] I like it. Done. ... Handshake deal. It's legal.
LeBron Blames and Guys on Chicks
The show wraps up with a truly pathetic display from LeBron James. After a blowout loss to the Celtics, LeBron decided to use his own son as a shield for his poor shooting. Big Cat was appalled by the move, even for a guy who usually specializes in the art of the excuse.
Big CatLeBron James blaming his son for a poor performance is a new low
LeBron blames his son. A new low. A new low. Even for LeBron. He has gone as low as possible. He has blamed his son on his poor performance on Monday night. He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament.
Finally, we get some Bachelor Talk where Hank breaks down the underground pillow fight club drama, followed by Guys on Chicks featuring a very concerned listener who discovered her sister’s friend is using her Prime account for some very specific lingerie.
No matter what happens in Miami, just remember that a New York rat would absolutely smoke a chicken in a fair fight.
