Takes

Sidney Crosby is the biggest thug in hockey

Is Sidney Crosby the biggest thug in hockey? He did two things tonight... He dribbled P.K. Subban's face off the ice like it was Deron Williams just dribbling out of bounds... And he threw a water bottle onto the ice during play. Wow. Dangerous.

Microwaves are the best invention of all time and better than air fryers

When did we just start disrespecting the mighty microwave? The microwave is the best invention, maybe of all time. You put something in there, it gets so hot... It boils water in 15 seconds and everybody's just sleeping on it... microwaves are coded. They are all right.

The NFL will use false positive COVID tests as cover to let star players like Patrick Mahomes play on Sundays

The NFL has muddied the waters enough that we can now safely go into the NFL season just assuming every test that is positive is not actually positive until it's negative. Patrick Mahomes test positive on a Sunday morning... they'll be like, it's a false positive. He's going to play and then two days later be like, well the for positive reading footballs good job NFL

The Rio Olympics tragedies are a marketing strategy by Brazil

The only way to remind people that the Olympics are coming is to continually have tragedies and threats... There are some guys in Brazil right now sitting in a marketing office patting themselves on the back. We really did this. We're making the news. Yeah, we threw out Zika. We threw out terrorists, a guy with a gun. There's sewage. There's poop water. Hey, let's throw some old body parts... Front page news. Oh, yeah. And the Olympics are on NBC. Tune in.

The Bears are a team of destiny and I'm not using the word Super Bowl lightly.

It's very weird almost like team of Destiny Vibes. Like I don't use the word Super Bowl lightly... This is team of Destiny stuff for sure and Nick Foles... he's got ice water in his veins.

The US government should try dropping icebergs or Air Force planes to reverse hurricane wind patterns

Hurricane innovation is fully back... Why don't the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it can't get going as fast? Flying the Air Force at the hurricane to reverse the wind patterns... we should solve it.

The Chargers' social media account being too funny is hurting the team's culture

I think that the Chargers Twitter account is, is too funny. And and it's resulted in actual on the field losses for you. Yeah. Be serious. This is culture matters. ... If you're asking guys, Hey, is water wet when they come off the field, they're probably, that's gonna break their brains. ... I actually, I'm starting to think that Chargers truther, he might be true. It affects team culture.