Scooter Gennett & Randy Moss

The torch has been passed and now resides at Kevin Durant's mother's house

I am under the theory now that the torch has not only been passed, but it's comfortably sitting in Kevin Durant's mom's house. She has it on the mantle. She's the real MVP.

LeBron James has no killer instinct because he is a father of three

LeBron's a father of three, so this might have something to do with it, but he just has no killer instinct. He's too close to life. If you're the best player in the world, quotation marks, and you have the ball the way he had the ball at the end of the game, you take it to the hole and you try and get fouled. Or you at least ask for the ball.

The Warriors are a better team without Riley Curry

By the way, Riley Curry, where has she been this postseason? Hasn't been facing the music. Is it a little false flag? Are the Warriors a better team without Riley Curry?

Sidney Crosby is the biggest thug in hockey

Is Sidney Crosby the biggest thug in hockey? He did two things tonight... He dribbled P.K. Subban's face off the ice like it was Deron Williams just dribbling out of bounds... And he threw a water bottle onto the ice during play. Wow. Dangerous.

MLB drug tests me more often because I'm a short guy hitting home runs

They like to come and test me all the time when I hit home runs because they don't really believe a short little guy can hit homers. So I'm kind of surprised they haven't came yet, but I'm sure they will soon.

Winning the Belmont Stakes is less valuable to horse breeders than winning the Derby or Preakness

The mile and a half distance of the Belmont Stakes is such a rarity in American racing that winning the Belmont doesn't mean nearly as much to breeders if you're going to retire to stud than winning the Kentucky Derby or the Preakness. You've got a grand total of one grade one stakes in America running a mile and a half on dirt, and that's the Belmont.

Tapwrit is a must-play for the Belmont Stakes trifecta

I think [Tapwrit] is a must play in the trifecta. Absolute must play and maybe even must play in the exactas. Todd Pletcher has this thing figured out... They come into the Belmont, his home track. They're really rested, ready to roll.

Irish War Cry is the logical favorite to beat in the Belmont Stakes

If [Irish War Cry] runs his best race, he's a daylight winner. You can't say that about any of the other horses in the race. So even though he's the favorite, I think he's the horse to beat.

Christian Pulisic will make soccer the biggest sport in America

This guy, he is going to make soccer the biggest sport in America. This is the guy. It actually already happened with Freddy Adu, and then John Harkes, and then DeMarcus Beasley, but it's happening again before our eyes.

Kurt Eichenwald should embrace being the tentacle porn guy on Twitter

I think he just needs to own that block. He needs to be the tentacle porn guy. Just change your avatar to like an octopus... and just put your head right on top.

Buying a trampoline for your kids is like buying a gun range for your family

Buying a trampoline for your kids is a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. I can't stress... it's like buying a dizzy bat race slash gun range for your family. That's how bad it's going to be. Everyone's going to get hurt.

The ultimate parenting life hack is buying a trampoline for your neighbor's kids

Here's really what the life hack is right here. Buy your neighbor a trampoline for his kids... He can fucking assemble it. He can hurt his grass. And now your kid is not around anymore. Just tramp cuck him.