PMT DB
PMT DB
Hugh Freeze on Hospital Bed Coaching and CFB Week 1 Recap
Football is officially back, and we’re already dealing with the absolute peak of the sport. Week 1 of college football delivered the kind of chaos that only this sport can provide, starting with the absolute burial of the SEC’s middle class. Between Tennessee getting embarrassed by Georgia State and Missouri falling to Wyoming, PFT is ready to start some serious conference realignment based on merit.
PFT CommenterThe SEC is effectively dead and should relegate Tennessee or Missouri
SEC is pretty much dead. So I think they have to look at getting rid of either Tennessee or Mizzou at this point. If you lose a week one game against an inferior opponent, you should just become a member of whatever conference that they're from.
Big Cat pointed out the specific misery of the Tennessee fan base, noting that the 'Vol Navy' sinking before the game was a literal omen for the disaster to follow. While the fans are crying in their checkerboard overalls, there’s only one real explanation for why a program with this much history keeps stepping in it.
Big CatThe Tennessee football program is suffering from the Curse of Greg Schiano
24-point favorites. I'll say it. Curse of Greg Schiano. All you crazy Tennessee fans on Twitter. Thank you, Big Cat. Led by someone, I don't know, decided to oust Greg Schiano before he could even get the job and bring back Phil Fulmer.
Meanwhile, Florida State provided the comedy highlight of the weekend by blaming their second-half collapse against Boise State on a lack of water. It’s a bold strategy to admit your Power 5 program was defeated by the concept of hydration, but PFT thinks it's actually the most fixable problem in the country.
PFT CommenterFlorida State's week one loss is an easy fix because they just forgot to hydrate
Florida State's excuse is that the boys didn't drink enough water pregame. So they're going to get that fixed. They're going to get that turnaround. It's an easy fix.
The Lincoln Riley Lab
Oklahoma looked like a juggernaut with Jalen Hurts under center, and the guys are already marveling at Lincoln Riley’s ability to make every opposing defensive coordinator look like they’ve never seen a football before. PFT compared Riley's offensive schemes to discovering cold fusion, but Big Cat knows exactly how the internet will react to the hype.
Big CatIf you want to be a 'naysayer' online, just claim Lincoln Riley's gimmicks won't play in the NFL
All those gimmicks won't play in the NFL. They don't translate. That's how, if you ever want to be a real naysayer online about the genius of Lincoln Riley, just respond to every breakdown of the Oklahoma plays. Be like, if he had to go up against an NFL D lineman, he'd be fucked.
On the individual side, Big Cat is planting his flag early for the Heisman. Jonathan Taylor looked like a man among boys for Wisconsin, and while there might be some 'homer' energy involved, the stats don't lie.
Big CatJonathan Taylor will win the Heisman Trophy
Jonathan Taylor's going to win the Heisman. That's not biased.
Hugh Freeze Joins the Program
In what is already the frontrunner for Football Guy of the Year, Liberty head coach Hugh Freeze joined the show to discuss coaching a literal football game from a hospital bed. Freeze walked through the logistics of having a wall cut out in the press box so he could lie down while calling plays, even admitting to some 'surreal' moments like having to take a shielded bathroom break in the third quarter while his coaches looked on.
Big CatHugh Freeze is the 'Football Guy of the Year' after coaching from a hospital bed
Hugh Freeze, Liberty head coach... He coached from a hospital bed. That's going to be impossible to beat. The football guy of the year moment in week one.
Freeze also cleared up the legendary 'fake funeral' story from his Ole Miss days, clarifying that there was no actual casket, just a very intense slideshow about what people would say at his funeral. He also gave a shout-out to Dino Babers for his 'classy' post-game gesture, a sentiment PFT backed up completely.
PFT CommenterDino Babers is the classiest head coach in college football
Dino Babers might be leading the league right now in terms of the amount of times you have to say the word classy when you discuss him... Dino Babers is the classiest of the class head coach in college football.
NFL Cuts and The Trade Market
The NFL landscape shifted over the weekend with the Texans going all-in on Laremy Tunsil and Kenny Stills. Big Cat is eyeing the Seahawks as the team to beat in the NFC West now that they've added Jadeveon Clowney, despite the Rams' recent Super Bowl run.
Big CatThe Seahawks will win the NFC West
I like the Seahawks out of the West before before Jadaveon Clowney got traded there just because I think the Rams still make the playoffs. But I think it's very hard to come back from losing in the Super Bowl. It's going to take a little time. I think the Seahawks are going to be a tough, tough team.
On the gloomier side of things, PFT has officially closed the book on the Minnesota Vikings' season. The decision to cut preseason darling Kyle Sloter was the final straw, leading to an official curse on Kirk Cousins and the entire organization.
PFT CommenterThe Minnesota Vikings are officially cursed for the 2019 season after cutting Kyle Sloter
So he [Kyle Sloter] got cut, and now the Vikings are cursed. They're cursed this year. Kirk Cousins might not win a big game. He won't win a big game. The Vikings, who historically have been clutch in the playoffs, aren't going to win the Super Bowl this year.
Who’s Back and Hashtag Hyphy
Who’s Back featured a heavy dose of US Open talk, including Novak Djokovic’s controversial exit. While some fans were annoyed, Big Cat defended the move as a strategic retreat for the greatest to ever do it.
Big CatNovak Djokovic is the GOAT of tennis
He [Djokovic] also probably wanted to let Nadal and Federer and Wawrinka can play each other. One of you idiots can win while the GOAT rests up his shoulder.
The show wrapped up with the return of Hashtag Hyphy, specifically focusing on #ThingsWeShouldCancel. Big Cat took aim at the exhausting discourse surrounding comedy specials, specifically the feeling that you need a PhD in social studies just to watch a Chappelle set.
Big CatComedy specials should be canceled because they require too much of a social stance
I want to cancel comedy specials. Because I'm sick of people telling me, I haven't seen the Chappelle special, but I know I'm not supposed to like it or I am supposed to. I just want to watch a comedy special and laugh, but now it's become something that I have to have a very strong opinion about.
LeBron James also found himself in the crosshairs for his attempt to trademark 'Taco Tuesday,' a move Big Cat finds as unoriginal as LeBron's previous 'inventions' like book clubs and talking in barbershops.
Big CatLeBron James is an asshole for trying to trademark 'Taco Tuesday'
LeBron's an asshole. Let's just go business hour with LeBron. I do just hate him. He is trademarking Taco Tuesday. Trying. This is the guy who his big inventions, his big ideas, business ideas. Talking in a barbershop. With his friends. Space Jam 2. Remember when he created Plinko?
Just remember, if we don't get the Air Force to fly into the eye of the next hurricane to reverse the wind, that's on us for not listening to the innovators.
