Takes

Sam Darnold is playing better for the Seahawks than he did for the Vikings

Sam Darnold in games besides the that Rams game... it feels like based on vibes this year he's playing better than he did last year on the Vikings as a whole.

The Commanders are one of the five worst teams in the NFL.

I've been telling you guys for a while. The Commanders are a, a bottom-five team in the league. They just are. The defense stinks. It's atrocious. I've never seen a defense play this poorly... We're just a bad football team. Period.

Caleb Downs is the best defensive player in college football

I love Caleb Downs. Caleb Downs has been, I think, the best defensive player in college football for at least the last two years.

The Broncos are for real.

Broncos are real. I, I, these are the type of games, like, they start winning games where they're supposed to win and they're supposed to dominate the game and control the game... They've won 10 straight games and they're, and not all of 'em been pretty, but they're rounding into form.

The Bears can play with any team in the league.

This doesn't change anything. I feel about this Bears team in that I think they can play with anyone. I don't know if they're, like, you guys were trying to get me to say soupy last week. I don't think they're good enough to win the Super Bowl... but I told you they, I'm not, I don't think they could play with anyone. They, they played with [the Packers].

Notre Dame is a top 10 team despite being left out of the playoff

I do think Notre Dame is unquestionably one of the top 10 teams in the country. And to not have them in a College Football Playoff to decide a champion is stupid.

Detroit got their mojo back and looked like the efficient team they were earlier in the season

I feel like Detroit kind of got their mojo back a little bit and like, 'Hey, we're not going out without a fight.' Detroit didn't make those mistakes. Detroit didn't turn the ball over.

I'm softening on the Cowboys and no longer get joy from Dak Prescott interceptions

You know how I know that I'm softening up on the Cowboys? I don't get the same joy that I used to get off Dak [Prescott] interceptions. Dak interceptions used to give me life. They used to make me so happy.

LeBron James robbed fans of a hater moment by making the correct basketball play

I feel so robbed by it because [LeBron James] actually made a very selfless play. A game-winning assist for a buzzer beater. I was really hoping that the situation had occurred where he was trying to force it and he cost him the game. He robbed that from us.

Chris Paul being a dickhead in his 20th season is actually a credit to his accountability

In his 20th year in the league at his age, he was still being like, 'Hey guys, we gotta be accountable.' Because I would think that if you're doing a farewell tour... I'm gonna chill with the boys. He was still being dickhead Chris Paul. It's more of a credit to Chris Paul.

I do not believe Giannis Antetokounmpo faked his calf injury to force a trade.

I don't think that [Giannis Antetokounmpo] faked the injury. ... I think he actually hurt himself. I do too. I don't think that he looked bummed when he got hurt. ... It's unfortunate timing, but yeah, the report came out yesterday that he was actively exploring other options.

The Colts are in deep water because they have the toughest remaining schedule in the NFL.

The Colts could be in deep water because the Colts have the toughest remaining strength to schedule based on win percentage. They play the Jaguars, the Seahawks, the 49ers, the Jaguars and the Texans. Those are all playoff teams right now.

The Jaguars vs. Colts matchups are essentially a two-game series to determine the NFL Coach of the Year.

I think that this is Leg one of the home and home coach of the year series. ... I think that a sweep, a sweep goes a long way here. ... Liam Coen's done an incredible job.

I would rather see Jayden Daniels play and risk injury than sit him for the rest of the season

Big picture, if he gets hurt, I'm gonna be like, why the fuck was Jayden Daniels playing? Counterpoint: Good football players want to play football when they're healthy. I would really like to see Jayden Daniels play this weekend. I don't care. I like watching him play football.

JJ McCarthy is a sit in fantasy because he can't throw for 300 yards

Sit [JJ] McCarthy for not being able to throw the 300 yard. He can't throw 300. We're gonna sit Hank also because he can't throw for 300 yards like Drake May.

Miami should be ranked ahead of Notre Dame because they won the head-to-head matchup

I look at what matters on the field. They... actually played. Miami led the whole game. They won. I don't understand [them being ranked lower]. Miami should be ahead of Notre Dame.

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team and they have to win me back

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team. They got, they have to win me back. I'm opening up that they could win me back. But right now, they have to prove it.

James Madison is a better team than Notre Dame

Does that mean that JMU is better than Notre Dame? I have no choice but to say yes. It does mean that because we would be in, Notre Dame would be out.

Group of Five teams like James Madison, Tulane, and North Texas have zero chance of winning the national title

If you said to me right now, does James Madison, Tulane or North Texas have a chance of winning it all? I'd say no. Does Texas or Vanderbilt? I'd say maybe.

The Steelers have become a retirement home for players

The Steelers did sign Adam Thielen today, who is a 2018 pro bowler... Mike Tomlin has gotten to the point where you can just perfectly troll him and predict everything he does. And the Steelers are just become a retirement home for players. It's crazy.

The Patriots looked legitimately unbeatable and like a great team against the Giants

I thought the Patriots looked unbeatable last night. Like a legitimately great team. All three phases.

LeBron James is officially in his stat-padding era

My Cool Throne is LeBron because congratulations to LeBron. He kept his streak alive of scoring 10 games, which is a totally made up streak... Can we just admit that LeBron's in his stat padding time, like it's fine. It's fine.

Texas should not be in the College Football Playoff because they lost to Florida

I have a take and, and people will probably say this is wrong, but it's my take... Texas is out... That Florida lost. I know they have three very good wins... that's not a playoff team.

Alabama, Ole Miss, and Miami are not good enough to win the National Championship

I don't think Alabama is... Ole Miss is not good enough to win at all... Miami not good enough to win at all.

Texas A&M is a fraudulent team

Texas a and m has the classic look of a fraudulent team... Their first seven SEC games where they started seven and oh, they played teams ranked nine through 16 in the sec. The second they played somebody in the Top half league, Texas stumped them. This looks like a team that feels like a fraud.

Julian Sayin is a much better quarterback than Will Howard

Julian Sayin is way better than Will Howard... The second Michigan took out their gun... that game was over.

Michigan is a poorly coached team and Sherrone Moore is a mistake

They are a poorly coached football team in for 2025... they just, they, they're going to a gunfight with a, with a knife. They just can't do it. And Sherrone Moore is, they're wasting their time with Sherrone Moore as the head coach.

Tom Wilson is unfairly targeted by NHL officials and the league

I would say Tom Wilson... I die on several hills for him every year. I do think that he is targeted by the NHL. I think he's targeted by refs.

Michigan players saying they were 'protecting the logo' after getting crushed is pathetic

If you're a Michigan fan, you have to be completely embarrassed that that was actually said afterwards... to come a to afterwards be like Yeah, we were making sure that they couldn't do anything with the m we're gonna protect the m... That's so pathetic.

Ole Miss fans have every right to be furious at Lane Kiffin for leaving during the playoffs

Ole Miss fans have every right to be upset... I think Ole Miss AD did the right thing and being like, no way are you going to coach this team in the playoffs like that. Lane was lane to the most lane he's ever been... I do stand with Ole Miss fans though. You have every right to be pissed off.

Dak Prescott deserves to win the award for being 'in the conversation' for MVP

Dak is my official pick for, he will not win the MVP, but a lot of people will say in the next month, he should be in the conversation for MVP. So he wins that award. He wins the award for being in the conversation for MVP.

The Ravens are broken and their season has fallen apart

I would put the Ravens in the broken, but it just fell apart category. And I've never seen players enjoy the post-game Thanksgiving meal... like I saw the Bengals enjoy [it].

The 2025 Bears win over the Eagles was their biggest victory since 2018

Bears Eagles... That was the biggest Bears win since Sunday night Football 2018 when the Rams came to town and they absolutely throttled that Rams offense. It was awesome. They absolutely man footballed, the Philadelphia Eagles.

Ryan Polls deserves an apology for building a Bears offensive line with a true identity

I do owe an apology to Ryan Polls. I've been critical of Ryan polls at times... What he did with this offensive line in the off season is insane because the Bears have a true identity... they have an identity they can fucking smash guys like through four quarters.

The Eagles run the simplest offense in the world and every team knows what they are going to do

Every team knows what the Eagles are going to run because we just run the simplest offense in the world. How are, is every other person in football recognizing what is going on to this offense except for Kevin Patullo and Nick Sirianni themselves to make a fucking change.

Lane Kiffin is the perfect guy for college football because he delivers results despite the chaos

Lane Kiffin is the monorail salesman from The Simpsons, if the monorail salesman delivered results. Yeah. You're gonna get some results from Lane Kiffin... He's the perfect guy for college football.

Michigan's obsession with 'protecting the logo' after a blowout loss is pathetic

If you're a Michigan fan, you have to be completely embarrassed that that was actually said afterwards... to come afterwards be like Yeah, we were making sure that they couldn't do anything with the m we're gonna protect the m... That's so pathetic.

The 49ers are good enough to overcome multiple turnovers from Brock Purdy

To be up at half after your quarterback throwing three interceptions... it just shows that the Niners are starting to, you know, they're good enough that they can overcome those things.

JMU is the number one destination for any up-and-coming head coach

I think that that would cement JMU as being the number one destination for any up and coming coach. Yep. If they want to get paid, which is a good spot to be in.

Jamis Winston is the 'new Slash' because he is an elite athlete at multiple metrics.

Rob, my hot seat is Cordell Stewart, Denard Robinson. All these offensive weapons... because there's new sheriff in town who, Jamis. Yeah. Jamis... He is first in the NFL for yards per route run. He is third in the NFL for his percentage of carries going for 10 plus yards... he's the new slash.

The 'Players Era' tournament is ruining the tradition of Feast Week college basketball

The players era fucking sucks. There's not even a real tournament... They've taken away and no one's in the stands there. Feast Week used to mean something, man.

Jameson Williams is the X-factor for the Lions' offense

Jameson is, he's like the difference maker. 'Cause he's gonna stretch the field and if you hit him deep, then you just, you start hitting Amon-Ra on the underneath... They need to get him going.

Lamar Jackson is like Garfield; he hates Mondays and refuses to practice on them.

Lamar also is like Garfield. He hates Mondays. Yes. He just doesn't practice on Mondays. It's the third week in a row where he just hasn't, hasn't practiced... He just doesn't like showing up to work on Mondays. Which relatable?

Philadelphia will figuratively or literally burn down if the Eagles lose to the Bears on Black Friday.

This is a must win. The city will burn down if they... I will just see it burn down. Yeah. When the city burns down bad, very, very much illegal.

The Patriots shouldn't be allowed to have a good quarterback like Drake Maye immediately after Bill Belichick.

It fucking kills me that the Patriots are good... the fact that these cocksuckers get a good core, I, it's like... they don't deserve a good quarterback immediately. If Drake Maye developed schizophrenia and he is only good half the time and you don't know which personality's playing, they deserve that.

MLB is currently in the best place it's been in a decade

This is the best baseball it's been in 10 years. I think Rob Manfred has done an incredible job with the with the time clock, with the basis, I mean the pace of the game.

My relationship with Derek Jeter is as good as it’s been in over 20 years because I finally grew up.

Our relationship is great. It is as good as it's been in I would say over 20 years. And, and part of it is Dan is me growing up, right? Like, I mean, and when I look back now I'm like, man, I must have been a very difficult guy to deal with.

The Browns must continue starting Shedeur Sanders as the 'hot hand' at quarterback.

I mean, the Niners are coming off back to back wins... he tried to do the thing where he's like, I don't wanna name a starting quarterback. We all knew that it was gonna be Shedeur because you can't, you can't go away from the hot hand if you're the Browns.

The 2021 NFL Draft will be remembered as the 'COVID draft' where the quarterbacks were busts and the opt-outs became stars.

The COVID draft is, will go down in history. Yeah, all the quarterbacks are bad and every guy after is incredible... I think the two best guys didn't even play that college season. Micah Parsons opted out and Jamar Chase also opted out.

Colts -4.5 vs. Texans is a suspiciously low line that favors the Colts

I'm gonna take the Colts minus four and a half. I feel like the, that that's, that's a field goal line. Why is it four and a half? They know something.