Takes

The Giants will win the NL West

And then in the NL West, we'll go with the Giants.

The Cincinnati Reds will win the NL Central

Then in the Central, I'm going to go my Reds. My Reds are looking pretty good. Central's going to be tough this year. They got Puig. People forget.

The Chicago Cubs will have a rebound year and win the NL Central

NL Central, the Cubs are going to win. This is the rebound year. I can feel it.

The Cleveland Browns will win over 12.5 games in 2019

Over [12.5 wins]. Do you expect me to say under to that? Guaranteed.

I will have over 12 touchdown catches in 2019

I'm saying over for everything [including 12 touchdowns].

UCF would have beaten Duke if Taco Fall hadn't gotten into foul trouble

If Taco Fall didn't get foul trouble, which I think is impossible for Taco Fall to not get foul trouble because he basically just stands under the hoop and guys just jump into him, UCF wins that game.

Rick Pitino will sign with Alabama to be their next head coach

I'm going to get the last laugh when [Rick] Pitino signs with the Crimson Tide. [If he doesn't] then I'm going to delete the tweet.

Rob Gronkowski will come back to the NFL halfway through the season when the Patriots call him

I think yes, halfway through the season. Like he just doesn't want to deal with offseason OTAs and all that stuff. And then if he's perfectly healthy halfway through the season and his Patriots lose someone, you don't think they're not going to call him?

Calgary and Winnipeg are the only Canadian teams with a realistic shot at winning the Stanley Cup

Calgary and Winnipeg are the only teams who have a shot. I don't think that Toronto's going to beat Boston first round.

Antonio Brown secretly hates being an Oakland Raider and will demand a trade within six weeks

Antonio Brown... I don't think he wants to be an Oakland Raider. And he's trying to convince himself that this is the good move... I think Antonio Brown is secretly like, this is kind of a bad deal... I wouldn't be shocked if he demands a trade within the first six weeks.

No elite head coach will want to take the Lakers job

No really good coach is going to want to go there [Lakers], though. Jason Kidd's like the top of the list that you can get. And he's not good.

Ja Morant will be a Chicago Bull

John Morant, future Chicago Bull, John Morant was lights out. And Murray State dominated Marquette.

Bill Self and Kansas will collapse in the Sweet 16

Kansas dominated, which was like the classic everyone loves Northeastern. And then Kansas came out and was like, hey, we might suck. We might be a shitty version of Kansas this year, but we're still Kansas... we'll wait until we get to the Sweet 16 for Bill Self to collapse.

Baseball writers will hold Ichiro's unannounced retirement against him in Hall of Fame voting

This is going to cost him some votes in the Hall of Fame. When he's eligible, people are saying that he might be another unanimous entry... but I would not put it past baseball writers to get upset about not getting the heads up about his retirement and hold that against him five years from now.

My 2019 Final Four: Virginia, Duke, Kentucky, and Michigan

So my Final Four is Virginia, Duke, Kentucky... and Michigan.

My 2019 Final Four: Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC

I have Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC in my final four.

UC Irvine will upset Kansas State and reach the Sweet 16

I'll tell a big upset I like. I like UC Irvine to the Sweet 16. They play Kansas State. Dean Wade's not going to play. I don't like Kansas State at all... And UC Irvine's the only team in the tournament with 30 wins.

Duke is guaranteed to win the 2019 National Championship

No chance Duke doesn't win the title. Put it on a shirt.

Oregon will beat Wisconsin in a massive 12-over-5 upset

Check out that Oregon-Wisconsin game, which is a one-and-a-half-point underdog for Oregon. Huge upset coming.

Yale will upset LSU in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

LSU doesn't have its coach. Yale has an NBA prospect in Miye Oni... I'm going to take Yale to beat LSU.

Florida State will beat Gonzaga for the second straight year in the Sweet 16

I've got Gonzaga against Florida State in the Sweet 16... I got Florida State for the second straight year beating Gonzaga.

Michigan will advance to the Final Four out of the West region

Out of the region of Sizzle, I've got Michigan advancing to the Final Four... Michigan's lost to Michigan State three times, but Beilein we know, great in the tournament.

North Carolina will beat Duke in the National Championship game

Duke Carolina in Phase 4... I know that Duke has Zion Williamson, and I know he's more machine than man... I think North Carolina beats Duke in the national title.

The Giants will not draft Dwayne Haskins because it would undermine Eli Manning's confidence

What I see them doing, I don't see them going for Dwayne Haskins. I feel like in Gettleman's mind, that would undermine Eli's confidence in himself.

Ethan Happ will never miss another free throw if he thinks the word 'wet' before shooting

I need you to when you get to the free throw line just say in your head wet right before you shoot just go wet and it just like it will change everything... You actually will not miss another free throw for the rest of the season. Isn't that wild?

Nike will sign Zion Williamson to a $75M-$100M deal because of his marketing potential

I think Nike's going to sign him to a $75 million to $100 million deal because, A, they owe it to him, but, B, this kid's going to sell sneakers... I guarantee you when he's in the NBA, they're going to double stitch those bad boys.

Duke will not advance past the Elite Eight if Zion Williamson doesn't play

No. No, I don't. I think this kid is so dominant, guys, that if the world was fair, and it may still happen, but I would vote for him... National Player of the Year.

Ja Morant is the second-best player in the 2019 NBA Draft and an electric passer

I think he's the second-best player in the draft... This kid is unique because he, I got to say it the right way, he's Trey Young with more athleticism... I'd be shocked if he doesn't go two.

Florida State is a March Madness dark horse because of their incredible length

One, they've been good all year, but no one ever talks about them... that's Florida State because they got like 15 guys. I mean, and they got like seven guys over seven feet. It's amazing... All they did this year in a great league is go... 25-6.

Maryland's Bruno Fernando will end up being a lottery pick in the NBA Draft

They have a developing young big guy in Bruno Fernando who's going to end up in the lottery. People don't know that yet because I think our guys at ESPN have him 27th. He's going to end up in the lottery.

The Cleveland Browns will win the AFC North

The Browns are the best team in the AFC North. Yeah, they are the best team in the AFC North. The Ravens watched part of their defense walk out. The Steelers watched their running back and wide receiver walk out. And the Bengals are the Bengals. The Browns are going to win the AFC North.

Le'Veon Bell will sign with the Chicago Bears

He signed with the Jets at midnight to promote his new album. And then went back on it and signed with the Ravens, and then maybe also the Bears. I was going to say, we should each say one team. I'm taking Jets. You take the Bears? Yeah, I'll take the Bears.

This is the end of the Golden State Warriors dynasty

The Warriors are on the hot seat because the Warriors are breaking up... Steve Kerr is sick of Draymond's shit. Now, I don't know if that was actually what he was talking about, but it's clear the Warriors have... I feel like this is it. This is it. This is the end. Don't you?

Urban Meyer will do media for a year then return to coaching at USC or Notre Dame

Urban Meyer's health... seems like he's healthy... This is perfect, though, because it's just the Urban Meyer playbook. He's going to do media for a year and then be like, I hate this so much because it means that he has to talk and smile, two things he's not capable of doing, and then he's going to go back and coach... boom, USC next head coach or Notre Dame.

Derek Carr will not be the Raiders' quarterback going forward

There's no way that Derek Carr is going to be the quarterback going forward, right? I'm saying [Jon Gruden] is going to get Kyler Murray. I think he's going to put all those chips [in].

Antonio Brown will either be great for the Raiders or destroy them before they move to Vegas

[Antonio Brown] is so weird and so bizarre that he's either going to be great for the team or he's going to destroy the team before they move to Vegas. It's just going to be John Gruden, Deuce, and Antonio Brown going to Vegas together.

Larry Fitzgerald will retire and run for the U.S. Senate in Arizona

I think Larry Fitzgerald's goal here is when he's going to wait for a Senate seat to come up in Arizona, and he's going to retire and run immediately for the United States Senate. And so that's why he keeps playing in Arizona so that the entire population of the state is like, 'this is our guy.'

Tiger Woods will win the Masters this year

Tiger will win the Masters this year. [If he doesn't] I'll get Hank two years of tuna fish for his cat.

Kyler Murray slept upside down or on a decline to game his combine height measurement

Our speculation was that he [Kyler Murray] may have slept upside down for a few days or weeks... or on a decline because we're told that that lengthens your spine a little bit. So there's a number of ways that you can game this.

LeBron James will never win another NBA championship

The easiest thing to do in these shows is you just sit out there and you go, I'm guaranteeing it right now LeBron's never winning a championship. It's actually the better bet to make because these are really hard... People at the end of [Kobe's] run don't want to go play with him now. And that was real... I can see where it could go that way [for LeBron].

DeMarcus Cousins will be the downfall of the Warriors' chemistry

Last night was the beginning of the end for DeMarcus Cousins fitting in. He was so bad in that game... Afterwards, a reporter actually said, like, hey, what do you think about your defense? He's like, what do you think? ... I just think that the Boogie thing's going to get worse and worse.

The Lakers are officially dead and will not make the playoffs

The Lakers, I'm done chaining them. They are five and a half games back with 18 games to play. They basically have to run the table. They have no chance. They have to run the table to sneak into that last spot. So this is going to be a total failure.

The Celtics can still beat the 76ers, Bucks, and Raptors in a playoff series

The thing with the Celtics and the thing with the Eastern Conference is that, yes, the Celtics are kind of a dumpster fire right now... but I could still see a situation where the Celtics could beat the Sixers, they could beat the Bucks, they could beat the Raptors. And all it takes is you need to win one series, and then it's like everything going forward.

All porn history will be public knowledge within 10 years

I'm very long woke on the fact that eventually all of our porn history is going to come out. Within 10 years, you're going to know what kind of porn your president watches.

I guarantee the Virginia Cavaliers will make the Elite Eight

I have decided that I'm going to take the Virginia Cavaliers for real. I'm guaranteeing an Elite Eight appearance. Because they'll get a one seed... they'll get a one seed, and I think Duke will get a one seed, and the only team that can beat him is Duke.

The Virginia Cavaliers will lose to a 16-seed again

The Harvard of the South is not in a position to win anything this postseason... They'll lose to a 16. I'm a big trends guy, and right now in their last one, the Cavaliers are 0 for 1 against 16th seeds.

LeBron James is in 'playoff mode,' which means he will not win another title

Playoff mode for LeBron means that he's not going to win another title. So he is currently in playoff mode.

DK Metcalf is destined to be drafted by the Raiders

He's a Raider. Basically, Matt Millen and Al Davis' corpse are going to have a celebrity death match to see who can come back and draft him.

The Steelers will trade Antonio Brown somewhere he hates just to spite him

I think we're at the point now where the Steelers are going to trade him to somewhere he doesn't want to go and just fuck him over.

The kickoff will never be removed from the NFL

Do you think the kickoff is going to be gone in a few years? No way. No way? No, it's football. We've got to keep the foot in football.