PMT DB
PMT DB
Jimmy Carr on the History of Laughter + Odell Beckham Traded
The NFL world was set on fire right as the show was being taped, forcing Big Cat and PFT to jump back into the studio for an emergency segment. Odell Beckham Jr. is officially a Cleveland Brown, and while the Giants are left holding the bag on dead money, the guys are looking at a brand new landscape in the AFC North.
Big Cat isn't pulling any punches when it comes to how the Giants handled their superstar receiver. By waiting until after they gave him a massive extension and trotting out Eli Manning for one last ride, they managed to mess up both their present and their future.
Big CatThe Giants are tanking a year too late
They're tanking a year too late from what they... Like, last year they should have, like you said, not given... they trotted out Eli Manning's corpse. You then didn't lose enough to be the number one pick this year and get Kyler Murray, so then you had to trade Odell Beckham to then get the picks so that you could then trade up for the number one pick that you could have had if you had just done what everyone said, just lose.
With Odell joining Jarvis Landry and Baker Mayfield, the vibes in Cleveland have never been higher. PFT shared a tip from Leroy the Dog regarding Eric Berry, and Big Cat is officially ready to crown the Browns as the new kings of their division.
Big CatThe Cleveland Browns will win the AFC North
The Browns are the best team in the AFC North. Yeah, they are the best team in the AFC North. The Ravens watched part of their defense walk out. The Bengals are the Bengals. The Browns are going to win the AFC North.
Free Agency Frenzy and College Bribes
The rest of the league is busy moving pieces around as the new year officially begins. While the Jets and Bears are vying for the services of Le'Veon Bell, Big Cat and PFT have different ideas on where the star running back will land.
Big CatThe Jets will sign Le'Veon Bell
We basically know where everyone's signing except Le'Veon Bell. We should each say one team. I'm taking Jets.
PFT CommenterLe'Veon Bell will sign with the Chicago Bears
I'll take the Bears... those are the three teams that are hot on his trail. I just can't imagine the Ravens signing [him].
Meanwhile, the Jacksonville Jaguars have decided that Nick Foles is the man to lead them into the post-Bortles era. Big Cat is so devastated by the loss of the BOAT that he’s officially placed a curse on the franchise, sparing only Doug Marrone and Shad Khan.
Big CatThe Jacksonville Jaguars made the biggest mistake in franchise history by signing Nick Foles
The Jacksonville Jaguars made the biggest mistake in franchise history. I have put a curse on them... basically we're just cursing Nick Foles because Nick Foles, you should not have done that... You can't fill the shoes of Blake Bortles in Jacksonville.
Away from the field, the guys discussed Operation Varsity Blues, the massive FBI sting uncovering how rich people were bribing their way into elite universities. Aunt Becky from Full House is on the lam, and the guys are trying to figure out why anyone would pay $500,000 to get their kid into USC just to be a coxswain.
Big CatThe only reason to get rich is to be able to bribe people
This is a story that is the most common sense story ever. It's rich people paying for their rich, shitty kids to get into college not based on their merit. What is the point of getting rich if you can't bribe people? That's the only reason to get rich.
PFT CommenterRich people are the last people who need college degrees
I think the worst part about this, and it reinforces something that I think a lot of people already know, is that if you're rich, you are the last person who needs a college degree. It's somebody who's very poor that would find value in having the degree.
Jimmy Carr and the Science of Laughter
British comedian Jimmy Carr joined the show to discuss his new Netflix special and the actual history of why humans laugh. It was a surprisingly intellectual conversation for a show that usually features segments about eating lightbulbs. Jimmy broke down the concept of "benign violation" and why jokes about sensitive topics like cancer can actually be healing rather than harmful.
Jimmy CarrNo joke is truly offensive because the intent of a joke makes it benign
There's a big kind of intellectual theory around this about benign violation and the idea that no joke is offensive because it's a joke. Because as soon as you put it in that space where you go, okay, it's cancer... But as soon as you make a joke about it, you put it into a space where you go, it's benign. It's actually, it's okay, and it's got no power over us.
He also shared some wild facts from a documentary he did for the BBC, explaining that laughter is actually an ancient form of "remote grooming" that kept human tribes together before we even had the words to speak to one another.
Jimmy CarrLaughter is older than language by a million years
I did a documentary for the BBC... about laughter. Laughter predates language by about a million years. It's a totally different part of the throat that we use to laugh. Laughter was essentially remote grooming.
Jimmy CarrIndividualism is a relatively new and terrifying concept for human beings
We've never been more connected... And the reason podcasts, I think, are so huge is because people are desperate for conversation... We're built to live in tribes... The idea of individualism is comparatively new and terrifying. It just doesn't work for human beings. We feel incredibly alienated.
Jimmy also shared the guys' disdain for the modern outrage culture and the trend of people being offended by transcriptions of jokes they weren't even in the room for. He was adamant that a comedian's job is to chase the laugh, and an apology for a joke is a non-starter.
Jimmy CarrComedians should never apologize for a joke
You never have to apologize for a joke. Just on policy, you go, well, I was standing on stage saying that to make people laugh. I'm a drug dealer is what I do for a living. I'm trying to get people [endorphins].
RedZone and Horniness
To wrap up, the guys chatted with Jimmy about American football and discovered that he’s already a fan of the most chaotic way to watch the sport: NFL RedZone. Big Cat agreed that while it’s the greatest invention in sports media, it has effectively broken the human brain's ability to sit through a three-yard run in a regular broadcast.
Big CatNFL RedZone has 'ruined' the traditional way of watching football
No, Red Zone actually made it better. It's unbelievable, but it's ruined football. No, I agree with you. Have you ever tried to watch a football game having seen Red Zone? Yeah, it's tough. You should go, wow, this is boring... your brain has just become this like... Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown. Every single play has got to be a big play.
In a new segment, "How Horny is Stephen A. Smith?", the guys analyzed the First Take star's recent admission that he is, in fact, horny for at least a few hours every day. Between his 2009 tweets and his current take quakes, Big Cat is convinced we are looking at an all-timer.
Big CatStephen A. Smith is horny all the time
Stephen A. Smith addressing his horniness... He's now clarified he's only horny some of the hours. He said a couple hours a day... He responded to someone saying, 'Sexy photo too. Evidently, you're trying to get yourself in trouble,' winky face. He's fucking horny. Dude is horny.
Finally, the guys checked in on Russell Westbrook's ongoing war with the fans in Utah. After Russ threatened a fan on the sidelines, Big Cat proposed a new rule that would probably make the NBA the most-watched league on the planet.
Big CatThe NBA should allow players to fight one fan per year
Russell Westbrook is the perfect case for... we need to have players be able to fight a fan once a year. I like the idea of having players that just hate certain cities.
If we can’t have Blake Bortles in the league, at least we still have Stephen A. Smith’s Twitter feed.
