The Giants are tanking a year too late

They're tanking a year too late from what they... Like, last year they should have, like you said, not given... they trotted out Eli Manning's corpse. You then didn't lose enough to be the number one pick this year and get Kyler Murray, so then you had to trade Odell Beckham to then get the picks so that you could then trade up for the number one pick that you could have had if you had just done what everyone said, just lose.

The Cleveland Browns will win the AFC North

The Browns are the best team in the AFC North. Yeah, they are the best team in the AFC North. The Ravens watched part of their defense walk out. The Bengals are the Bengals. The Browns are going to win the AFC North.

The Jets will sign Le'Veon Bell

We basically know where everyone's signing except Le'Veon Bell. We should each say one team. I'm taking Jets.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.