Takes

Jeff Fisher has zero percent chance of getting another NFL head coaching job

[Jeff Fisher?] Nope. No chance. [Zero?] Zero.

A long-distance throwing competition between Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes will happen

I talked to Josh. He said that he's in. Slid into those DMs on Pat Mahomes. And he has committed interest to it. He said, yeah, let's do it. We'll have to wait until further in the offseason.

The Rams are impossible to bet against because it is a Wade Phillips 'Dad Game'

Wade Phillips dedicates one game a year to his late father, Bum Phillips. The Rams, or sorry, Wade Phillips' team's defenses, 7-0 in Bum Phillips' dedicated games. ... I don't know how you can bet against the Rams now. It's a dad game.

Todd Gurley will fade in the second half of the Super Bowl due to his knee injury

I think you're going to see one of those situations where Todd Gurley, awesome in the first half, fades in the second because his knee or whatever's going on... I think the adrenaline maybe a couple shots whatever he comes out hot and then when you need him in the fourth quarter it either is C.J. Anderson in his thick ass booty or the rams are in trouble.

The Patriots are going to kill the Rams in the Super Bowl

I think Pat's going to kill him. I know we love Jared on the show. Good friend of the program. But the fact that he is, like, listening to all our episodes... it seems like he's not, like, as focused. McVay is going to get beaten by Belichick in some way, shape, or form at some point during the game.

Official Score Prediction: Rams 24, Patriots 20

My official pick is 24 to 20... Rams 24, Patriots 20.

The Knicks traded Porzingis for cap space they will definitely fail to use

The Knicks traded Kristaps to the Mavs... Basically, a cap space move... they are now going to try to go all in on Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, name any free agent, and the Knicks will be rumored to get them. And they won't get them because James Dolan is still the owner.

The Cowboys will hire either Tony Romo or Sean Payton as head coach in 2020

I did hear, though, that the Cowboys aren't going to extend [Jason] Garrett. So he's going to be a lame duck next year. You know what that means. Coach Romo in 2020. ... Romo or Sean Payton?

If the Rams give us Super Bowl tickets, we should burn them in protest

If Sean McVay gives us two sweet tickets, we're just going to burn them... Protest... if he wins the Super Bowl, he will be in the giving mood. And he'll be like, you know what? Let's give these guys a ring. And then we sell it. Then we buy Super Bowl tickets next year and burn those.

Tom Brady will play for 2 to 3 more years

I think, you know, if you asked me last year, I could see forward at one year... I think it's a kumbaya period where Bill's happy, Tom's happy... That fucker's having fun, and I think he wants to continue to have fun. So two to three years.

The Brooklyn Nets are improved and will make the playoffs

An okay team, but last year they had a few issues, is the Brooklyn Nets. I think they've improved a lot this year. And if they keep doing well, they should be able to make the playoffs.

Billy McFarland and 'The Situation' will launch fraudulent business ideas together while in prison

It turns out the prison that [Billy McFarland] is going to is the same prison that 'The Situation' is locked up in right now. So the schemes, those two are going to cook up together. They're going to come out of there with like 18 business ideas, 19 of which are fraud.

Coach K will leave Duke to coach LeBron James and Kyrie Irving in the NBA

I'm going to go pro, do the old Pete Carroll, bounce, and then go coach LeBron and Kyrie. I like that.

Jon Gruden will struggle with the logistical distractions of the Raiders' move to Las Vegas

[Jon Gruden] doesn't have any idea what he's about ready to go through because... they don't know where they're going to play in 2019 right now... there's the first distraction I think associated with their move.

The Alliance of American Football (AAF) will be an exciting league because everyone involved loves football

I watched some practices and this is going to be an exciting little deal. And the one thing they all have, everybody in that league has in common is they love football.

Baker Mayfield and John Dorsey will successfully change the Browns' culture

I really do think [Baker Mayfield] and John Dorsey are the two guys that can change a culture and have people stop putting really graphic porn on the wall when you walk into the Browns facility.

I will play another year of football in 2019

I am going to retire at some point... [but] I don't know what the future holds... I'm going to take the next couple months... then I'll make a decision.

Kawhi Leonard buying a house in San Diego means he is joining the Clippers or Lakers

Kawhi Leonard has just bought a house for $13.3 million in Los Angeles... San Diego area. It seems like an awfully convenient time for him to do that.

The Saints' lawsuit against the NFL will lose momentum after Super Bowl Media Day

We've got attorneys from New Orleans suing the NFL. A class action lawsuit... That talk's going to die down after media day.

If you rebranded Fyre Fest and put it back out there in two years, I would buy tickets again

I think you could just basically take all the marketing material from Fyre Fest and in two or three years rebrand it and put it back out there and people would buy again. I would. I want to go right now. I don't think there's any question.

There is a 75% chance Tom Brady retires if the Patriots win the Super Bowl

Put a percent chance that if the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady says, I'm off. I'm done. I'm riding off in the sunset John Elway style. [Hank]: 75%? It would be the ultimate way to go out. I hope he does.

The Super Wolf Blood Moon is a sign of the apocalypse, and all hell is going to break loose on January 22nd.

Obviously these apocalyptic signs in the heavens are pointing to a catastrophic event that is just on the horizon... on January 22nd, all hell's going to break loose. If you're listening to this, we're dead.

Patrick Mahomes has to play a perfect game for the Chiefs to win

[Mahomes] has to basically play his perfect game for the Chiefs to win, and I don't think he's going to play his perfect game... Patrick Mahomes is going to throw an interception that everyone's going to be like, what was that?

I'm taking the under 56 in the Patriots-Chiefs game

I'm going to take the under, 56... I like the under because I also think the Patriots are going to basically say, Patrick Mahomes, go ahead, beat us.

I'm picking the Patriots to beat the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game

My pick, I'm going to take the Patriots. I'm taking them. Julian Edelman convinced me when he said, don't bet against this.

I'm taking the under in the Rams-Saints game

I also actually kind of like the under in this game [Rams-Saints] because I do think the Rams are going to run the ball, run the ball, run the ball.

The Saints are a team of destiny to win the Super Bowl in Atlanta

Saints, to me, feel like a team of destiny. The destiny word just changed me... It's the ultimate Sean Payton move to go into Atlanta and win a Super Bowl in Atlanta's hometown. Destiny, Dome, Saints.

Both Championship Sunday games cannot go over

Both these games cannot go over. It just can't happen. It's like the championship Sunday... 56-57, take the under in the first game. If it doesn't hit, take the under in the second game. If it does hit, walk away.

I'm taking the over in the Rams-Saints game

Trust me, when I say that I'm taking the over, I have absolutely zero stats or information to back me up. This is a major fuck it move. I'm just saying fuck it and I'm taking the over.

The Patriots will win at Arrowhead and the Rams will win at New Orleans

I think both games will be lower scoring than expected, and I think both road teams are winning. I think the Rams are going to go in there and pound the Saints on the ground... [and] I think [the Patriots are] winning the game. I think they're going in the Arrowhead and winning.

Todd Gurley will get many more carries than last week and run wild against the Saints

I think [Gurley] is going to get many more carries than he did a week ago, and he's going to run wild this weekend.

Marcus Peters is ripe to get beat by a double move early in the NFC Championship Game

You know what else [Marcus Peters] is ripe for early? Double move. Yeah, he's going to... because, you know, he'll try and jump it... and he'll throw the top on him.

Kyler Murray will be drafted after the 10th pick in the 2019 NFL Draft

[Kyler Murray will be drafted] After [the 10th pick]. 20th, 25, somewhere in there... I think, you know, this kid is in the same situation [as Lamar Jackson].

Blake Bortles will be a backup somewhere next season

[Blake Bortles] is gone. They're cutting him... He'll be a backup somewhere... and then get some chance to start eventually.

Colton Underwood will lose his virginity by episode 14 of The Bachelor.

I think he'll lose it by episode 14. You guys are misreading Colton. He's like Tebow. He's so dug in on his virginity... but eventually just going to fuck.

The cold weather in Kansas City favors the Chiefs over the Patriots in the AFC Championship.

My hot seat is the New England Patriots. Because it is going to be 5 to 10 degrees in Kansas City... It favors the Kansas City Chiefs. This is their home field. The Patriots, I don't know if they can do it in the cold.

Jimmy Butler will go 'alpha' and have over 30.5 combined points, rebounds, and assists vs the Timberwolves.

I got a pick for you guys... Jimmy Butler's playing the Wolves for the first time... over 30.5 points, rebounds, and assists. He's going to do the same thing that he did in the practice. He's just going to go off. He's going to alpha the fuck out of him.

Adam Gase is already 'done' with the Jets after his bizarre introductory press conference.

He had maybe the weirdest, like, I don't even know what it was. His eyes were just darting everywhere. He looked like he was being held hostage. And I don't want to be a complete reactionary, knee-jerk reaction guy, but he's done. He cannot survive in the big city.

Bill Belichick will sign Nick Foles just to berate him for the Super Bowl loss

I actually have a theory about what's going to happen. I think Belichick's going to grab [Nick] Foles. If for nothing else, just so that he can stash him and berate him every day, being like, you son of a bitch, you beat me in the Super Bowl.

Nick Foles will sign with the Jaguars or Broncos and won't be that good

I feel like Nick Foles is destined to end up on a team like, I don't know, the Jaguars or maybe the Broncos. He feels like a Broncos quarterback up and down. And then he's just not going to be that good. And everyone's like, well, but he won a Super Bowl.

I am 80% confident the Patriots will beat the Chiefs in Kansas City

[Big Cat]: What's your confidence level going to Kansas City? [Hank]: 80%.

Damien Williams will be my breakout star for the 2019 NFL season

I like Damien Williams, by the way... I think he's going to be – that's the PFT breakout star next year.

Most of the young offensive coaches being hired in the current 'copycat' cycle will struggle

I imagine that this [hiring young offensive coaches] will be the same thing. Everybody's trying to copycat and catch on to this trend. But, look, being a head coach is hard... there's going to be a lot of guys who struggle.

The Gatorade color for the Super Bowl winner will be lemon-lime

I think we were traditional on our sidelines. I would go lemon-lime.

The college basketball arm hook rule will cause an apocalypse in the tournament

This is going to cause absolute hell during the NCAA tournament. You're going to have stars foul out because of this weird flagrant foul thing. It's going to swing games, too. It's going to be awful. Once people realize how bad this rule is, the NCAA is going to be an apocalypse.

Patrick Mahomes will likely lose his first career playoff game because first-time quarterbacks are 13-30 in the postseason since 2002.

First time quarterbacks straight up in the playoffs since 2002, 13 and 30. All three lost last weekend: Lamar Jackson, Mitch Trubisky and Deshaun Watson. So will Patrick Mahomes... I'm excited to watch him play, but it feels like, oh, my God. You can't just keep having heartbreak in Kansas City, can you?

I'm taking the Chiefs and the Over in their divisional round game against the Colts.

I took the over in this game. I love the over in this game... no way it loses... I'm going to take the Chiefs, and I'm going to take the over. Yeah, the over's so easy.

I'm taking the Cowboys to win or cover against the Rams

Cowboys at Rams. Rams are minus seven... I'm taking the Cowboys. And I'm just saying it out loud. I do this every single divisional round. I always overstate what I've seen from wildcard rounds. So in my mind, I always go to divisional round and say, well, the Cowboys are 1-0 in their last one, and the Rams haven't played in a week... So the Cowboys are hot.

I'm taking the Chargers to beat the Patriots

I love Phil Rivers in this game. I like their running game. I like their defense... I'm taking the Chargers, baby.

The Eagles will cover +8 against the Saints because I'm taking all the underdogs and Nick Foles has something special going on.

I'm taking the Eagles. I'm taking all the underdogs this week... I feel like eight is too much. And Nick Foles, whatever's going on, I don't know... I'm taking the Eagles.