PMT DB
PMT DB
SB 53 Recap, Dan Patrick, Chad Ochocinco, and Mr. Portnoy
Football is officially over, and while we should be celebrating the sport, we’re mostly just trying to scrub the memory of Super Bowl 53 from our brains. It was a defensive struggle that turned into a punting exhibition, and Big Cat wasn't pulling any punches about the quality of play.
Big CatSuper Bowl 53 was the worst Super Bowl I've ever watched
That was the worst Super Bowl. I think we can all agree the worst Super Bowl we've ever watched. [It] just wasn't well played. Like, it was compelling because it was close late... but it just was gross.
PFT was a little more forgiving, or perhaps just haunted by different ghosts, recalling a certain blowout in the snow as the true low point of the championship era.
PFT CommenterSuper Bowl 48 was a worse game than Super Bowl 53
I would say the worst Super Bowl that I've ever watched is probably the Denver-Seahawks Super Bowl. But that was just because it was a blowout from the very start.
The Belichick Masterclass and Rams Meltdown
The guys broke down how the Patriots managed to stifle Sean McVay’s high-powered offense. While everyone was waiting for Jared Goff to take the leap, he instead looked like a deer in headlights against a New England defense that completely changed its identity for one night. Big Cat argued that this might actually be the pinnacle of the Belichick era given the roster he was working with.
Big CatSuper Bowl 53 was Bill Belichick's best coaching job ever
I actually think this is probably his best coaching job. Because they're probably not the most talented Super Bowl team he's had, but they ran man basically all year, and then they ran zone in the Super Bowl and just fucked up Sean McVay.
On the other side, the Rams' offensive stars were non-factors. Todd Gurley’s vanishing act remained the biggest mystery of the game, despite the official line from the team.
PFT CommenterTodd Gurley is definitely injured despite his denials
Todd Gurley was, I think he's hurt. He denies that he's hurt, but I'm pretty sure that he was—there's something wrong with him. He's getting the Steph Curry benefit. But then even C.J. Anderson didn't play any better at all. So it was like, yeah, the offense for Los Angeles sucked.
The fallout from this game has huge implications for the rest of the league, especially for the teams currently trying to find the "next McVay." Big Cat is skeptical that the hiring spree will actually yield results for those further down the list.
Big CatThe lower-tier coaches hired from the Sean McVay tree won't be successful
The fifth or sixth guy that gets hired [from the McVay tree] is the fifth or sixth best offensive guy, so he's probably not that good. Exactly.
The People's Lawyer Weighs In
The biggest story of the night wasn't even on the field. Dave Portnoy got arrested and dragged out of the stadium like a dead fish in skinny jeans, a visual that Big Cat considers one of the funniest things to ever happen to the show. We brought in the heavy hitter, Mr. Portnoy, Esquire, to discuss the legal ramifications and Roger Goodell's lack of situational awareness.
Mr. PortnoyRoger Goodell is the stupidest person in the world for having Dave Portnoy arrested while sitting in a paid seat
I'm starting to think that Goodell and this whole crew, he's the stupidest guy in the world... It's one thing to charge somebody with criminal trespass, but then when they have a ticket sitting in their seat... he was a civilian sitting in a seat. They had no right to touch him.
Big Cat and PFT are convinced that Goodell is actually Barstool's best marketing employee, constantly handing them content on a silver platter by overreacting to their presence.
Big CatIf Roger Goodell had a brain, he would stop helping Dave Portnoy by arresting him
Arresting Dave at the game was such an all-time moment... no one plays into our hands better than the NFL. They're so dumb... thank you, Roger Goodell, for continually helping us.
Dan Patrick, Ochocinco, and Radio Row Highlights
We shared some of the best moments from our week in Atlanta, including an incredible sit-down with Dan Patrick. Dan gave us the veteran broadcaster's perspective on why certain coaches simply shouldn't move up the ladder.
Dan PatrickSome great coordinators are simply not meant to be head coaches
There are certain guys who were just assistant coaches... Just because you're good at being a defensive coordinator doesn't mean you can be a head coach... certain guys are meant to be a head coach, certain guys are not.
He also dropped a bombshell regarding baseball's most famous gambler, confirming what he knew from his own interactions with the betting world.
Dan PatrickI know Pete Rose bet on the Reds every night, and possibly against them
I knew his bookie... I called my former bookie... I said, did he bet on the Reds? And he said, he bet on games with the Reds. And I said, did he bet against the Reds? And he said, I don't want to say that. So that's a yes.
Chad Ochocinco also swung by the van to talk about his semi-pro soccer career and his belief that he could still provide value to an NFL roster, specifically a certain team in Chicago that currently can't find the uprights.
Chad OchocincoI can still kick a 60-yard field goal and play in the NFL on third downs
I think I could play maybe third downs... I'm good from 60 right now still. [The Bears need a kicker] Yes, they do. Come back.
Looking Ahead
As we head into the dark months without football, we have a few things to keep us going. PFT is already tracking the development of the most anticipated offseason event: the battle of the cannons.
PFT CommenterA long-distance throwing competition between Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes will happen
I talked to Josh. He said that he's in. Slid into those DMs on Pat Mahomes. And he has committed interest to it. He said, yeah, let's do it. We'll have to wait until further in the offseason.
We’ll be back on Wednesday to start the slow crawl toward next season, hopefully with fewer 13-3 scores and more fake mustaches.
If you see a guy in skinny jeans being dragged through an airport this week, tell him we sent you.
