Takes

The Washington Nationals are a wagon

The Nationals are a wagon. Especially, I saw this fact earlier, when they're wearing those blue... color rush uniforms, they're 20-1.

LeBron James' statement on China was so bad he could have claimed it was 'Opposite Day' 10 minutes later

He actually – it was such a bad statement that if he had come back and 10 minutes later been like not or like opposite day, he would have been good. He would have been good if he was like everything I said, that was a joke. I meant the opposite of that.

Perfecting NFL refereeing would destroy 90% of sports conversation

If they ever do get sky judge, if they do ever perfect refereeing in the NFL... Like 90% of our conversations, day-to-day conversations will be gone. Because if you're a sports fan, what are the things that you can blame your team on sucking? ... If you eliminate refs, now everyone's going to have to come to the realization that, hey, maybe my guys aren't my guys.

The Yankees would be an easier World Series matchup for the Nationals than the Astros

I'm rooting for whoever makes it easier for the Nationals. ... That would probably be the Yankees, to be honest. I would rather see the Yankees.

I am done with U.S. Men's Soccer after the loss to Canada

Just when you think it couldn't get worse, we lose to Canada. ... I'm done with the U.S. soccer until they start fucking just doing anything. ... I'm done being embarrassed. I want them to be good.

Hockey is the best sport because it's a 'loner' sport that doesn't get mainstream respect

I enjoy hockey. That's probably my number one. ... I love it because it's also like it's never been the sport in this country. It's rogue. It's sort of outside. There's a loner sort of thing to it. ... It's more like a stand-up comic.

NFL officials are individually better than ever, but overall officiating is worse

I think the officials from top to bottom are better, but the officiating is worse. And, you know, it's been created by replay. It's created by a system that's called 'O to O' Officials to Officials. They now have the replay guy in their ear. They have New York in their ear. It's easier to sit back and think that things are going to be corrected for you.

Jameis Winston is the funniest physical comedian in NFL history

This was, in my mind, the quintessential Jameis Winston performance. He is the funniest person I have ever watched in my entire life when it comes to physical comedy. His body makes no sense. He flails everywhere. He had five interceptions, fumbled on back-to-back plays, lost one of them. He started the game first play pick. Ended the game, last play pick.

Freddie Kitchens is the root of all the problems in Cleveland

I think that [Kitchens] is ultimately the root of all the problems that are going on out there in Cleveland.

The Houston Texans are officially for real

I am ready to say the Houston Texans are for real. They're for real. Okay. Yep. That's it... This road win in Arrowhead... I am officially saying I respect the Houston Texans, and I think they are very good.

The San Francisco 49ers are officially for real

I'm instead going to use this time to say... I believe in the 49ers now. I apologize to the 49ers. I picked against them almost every single week. Their defense is very, very good. And George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL.

Zion Williamson shooting 80% in the preseason is incredibly impressive

Last three preseason games, 77 points in 81 minutes and 29 for 36 field goals, shooting 80%... 80% is pretty damn good, I would say.

Wisconsin and Ohio State should play on aggregate like the Champions League

They should do it on aggregate, like they do in the Champions League... I've already convinced myself, PFT, that we have a two-game series against Ohio State. So, go to Columbus, get your recon in, maybe lose that game, but learn a lot, and then beat them in Indy.

Clayton Kershaw is simply not good in the playoffs

I am starting to think that Clayton Kershaw is not good in the playoffs. Kershaw, yikes... He's not dominant Clayton Kershaw anymore. Still very, very good. But he's not like Clayton Kershaw of five years ago. To put him out there with everything that he had in his head about the playoffs and all the struggles and all the blow-ups... that's Dave Roberts' fault.

Atlanta is the saddest sports city on Earth

Atlanta is truly the saddest place on Earth with sports... They gave up 10 runs first inning. I've never seen anything like that... 28 to 3 Super Bowl, which is the biggest collapse maybe in sports history... The Braves won 14 straight division titles and they had one World Series to show for it.

The 49ers might not be good because they lost fullback Kyle Juszczyk

The 49ers lost a very key component to their attack in Monday night. They lost their fullback Kyle Juszczyk... they're going to struggle to fill that role because Juszczyk is really, really good. Correct, and they use them in a way that is kind of key to their offense.

The Redskins should never be favored by 3.5 points against anyone

The Redskins shouldn't be three and a half point favorites against anyone. And then you can make yours even if you lose and the Redskins win by 14 you're like: Guess what? I'd do it again because the Redskins shouldn't be three and a half point favorites against anyone.

DeAndre Hopkins has the best hands in NFL history

Definitely my boy [DeAndre Hopkins] man. I mean, there ain't nobody in the game—I don't think anybody in history—got better hands than [Hopkins]. He's the only receiver ever done it when he had zero drops in one season, 115 catches. That's pretty crazy.

Notre Dame is officially back

I think that just showed the world that we [Notre Dame] that we are contenders, we could play anybody... like you said, we back now, we playing good now.

Baker Mayfield's silence on the Richard Sherman handshake controversy speaks volumes

[Baker Mayfield] has not addressed the handshake controversy brought to light by Richard Sherman. I would say his silence speaks volumes.

I am not a believer in the 2019 Baltimore Ravens

The AFC North stinks. I'm not a believer in the Baltimore Ravens.

The 49ers are a 'good, good football team'

I think we need to actually give more credit to the 49ers. Yes, because the 49ers are a good, good football team. The difference between Kyle Shanahan's offense and Freddie Kitchens was like they were playing two totally different games.

Minnesota is low-key the saddest sports city in America

[The Twins] have lost, was it 15 straight postseason games? ... All of Minnesota, they're borderline the most cursed sports city of all time. I've said that. They are low-key the saddest sports city when people always go to Cleveland or Buffalo.

The best actors are actually not acting at all

Acting is the absence of acting. It's believing in the truth of the moment you're creating at that time with your heart without thinking.

Hell is a self-imposed condition created by yourself

Hell is what you make it within yourself... So hell is a self-imposed condition... Hell is really something you create yourself.

NBA players and coaches should admit they only care about China's money

I would prefer if they just said: our money is paid in large part by China and all these people buying league pass. And it's a big fucking country. And we're trying to sell a shitload of Kobe jerseys. So therefore, we are going to remove ourselves from this discussion.

The Jaguars should trade Nick Foles for a 6th round pick and go all in on Gardner Minshew

Trade Nick Foles? Absolutely. Dude, I would trade him for a six-round conditional pick. ... [Gardner Minshew] is amazing. Why would I not be [all in]?

Pass interference flags are the dumbest rule the NFL has ever implemented

Can we talk about the fact that PI flags are the dumbest rule the NFL has ever done. I think it was put out there as a trick on coaches to see which coaches have the least amount of respect for the officiating crews... It slows the game down. There's never ever going to be an overturned.

Penalties occurring after a negated interception should not count

The rule that if you have like a excessive celebration or a, you know, Block in the back or something on an interception that gets negated. It shouldn't count. if the interception is negated everything after that should be allocated.

The Chicago Bears are officially fucked

The Bears are fucked. I don't feel like the future. I don't think they're fuck for we've gone all in and we have no offense and the schedule is going to be insanely hard coming up and they are not a well-balanced team... the Bears are officially fucked.

Daniel Jones needs a dumber face if he wants to be the Giants quarterback

Daniel Jones if he's going to be the heir apparent to Eli Manning, he's got to work on his dumb face. He he kept his mouth closed. That's sad open that mouth dude... We need you to walk around with your mouth wide open looking dumb, if you want to be the New York Giants quarterback.

The Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott immediately because the delay is hurting his confidence

I think you should pay him right now. I think that every week they don't know that you go without paying them is a week that he feels deep down inside like he doesn't deserve that contract. So if you give him his money then he starts playing again like a guy that is owed that money.

Getting the new iPhone within the first month of release is a brag

I have a take I hate people who get the new iPhone within the first month. It's such a fucking brag... if you get it right away, then you are the new iPhone guy and then you have to keep doing that. Every time everyone knows the person who gets the new iPhone immediately.

Bill Belichick broke Sean McVay's brain and provided the blueprint for the rest of the NFL

I think the correct way to approach this narrative is, did Bill Belichick break Sean McVay's brain? The books, right now, there's a blueprint out there. This is Copycat League, okay? ... The defenses have caught up to Sean McVay's brain.

I'm staying off social media to avoid cause trouble and responding to chirps

I decided this year, you know what, I'm not going to cause that much trouble on social media. ... I won't be responding [to Trevor Bauer] anymore.

The Chicago Cubs' championship window is still open

The window's open. As long as Javi Baez and Kris Bryant are on the team and Anthony Rizzo, the window's open.

Rapping is only 20% of being successful in the music industry

I think personally, rapping is like 20% of it. And it doesn't mean that you don't have the 100% potential and experience and lyrics and, you know, do what you do. But I feel like people forget about the business side.

You have to be at least 80 years old to officially die of 'old age'

I would say you have to be over 80 to die of old age. ... Once you pass 80, you can't expect anyone to be sad about your death. That actually is the nice zone.

Adult males who buy baseball pants should be put on a no-fly list

I think any time somebody buys an adult male buys a pair of baseball pants. They should be put on a no-fly list.

Ben Roethlisberger gets healthier the more he gets injured

I think he gets healthier the more he gets injured if that makes sense because he had some spunk in his step. He was very demonstrative. He was like jogging back and forth. I like big been injured on the sidelines better than I like him in a game.

Shaquille O'Neal won the diss track battle against Damian Lillard

The problem was that Shaq's diss track went harder and Shaq has the power of Inside the NBA... lyrical M3 time Finals MVP MVP candidate. You are not one.

Storytelling is more important than stunts in a wrestling match

The story is what gets people... the perfect match to me is something that just builds throughout and you're engaged in the whole time and by the end of it, you're almost like emotionally drained. If the story is garbage. All those other things don't mean anything.

Kirk Cousins is a beta for apologizing to Adam Thielen

Our long National nightmare is over. Yes Kirk Cousins apologize to Adam thielen for not throwing the ball more deep on Sunday... so such a beta so so virgin Kirk Cousins Chad Adam thielen.

The Florida Panthers are the most irrelevant franchise in the history of sports

Could you think of a more like a more forgettable franchise. Whoa. I don't think so... Florida Panthers of the most irrelevant get your charade rise in the history of sports have to be.

Mason Rudolph is not a starting quarterback in the NFL

I've said it and the end this will confirm it tomorrow night. I don't care how good [Mason Rudolph] is tomorrow night if he does really, really well. He's not a starting quarterback in the NFL. I've seen enough of his face.

Bruce Arians has fixed Jameis Winston

Bruce Arians... he has fixed him. Well he's gotten through to him.

Chase Daniel has a higher floor but lower ceiling than Mitchell Trubisky

I think that chase [Daniel] has a lower ceiling but a higher floor... then Mitchell [Trubisky] does. He's not going to make mistakes. He's not going to lose you the game. But... if the Bears ever get into a game where they have to score and have to throw the ball downfield he's not going to be that guy.

Joe Flacco doesn't make me feel alive as a quarterback

Joe Flacco... he wasn't bad and the defense actually had a sack... but what do you do... Joe Flacco didn't play bad are settling for him. That's what we're doing. We're selling he's tall he's on paper. He's great. But you know, he doesn't make me feel alive.

Aaron Rodgers gets 'too cool' in the red zone

As Skip Bayless said, Aaron Rodgers gets too cool in the red zone.

Ranking Steph Curry over Kobe Bryant all-time is crazy

Bleacher Report came out with their top 50 all-time NBA players and Kobe was 14, Steph Curry is 10... They're mad. They're real mad. They're big mad.