Takes

Basketball broadcasts should use the baseline rolling camera angle more frequently.

More basketball games should have the camera that they have on the baseline that rolls with the action. I only see that during the Final Four National Championship.

Texas Tech is officially a basketball school as long as Chris Beard is the coach.

I now officially consider you [Texas Tech] a basketball school as long as Chris Beard stays there.

Instant replay should have a shot clock to keep the game moving

We should just have a shot clock on the replays because that would be thrilling. If the ref only has a certain amount of time... if they can't find the replay fast enough, guess what? Tough shit.

Jimmy Kimmel is no longer a 'guy's guy' because he thinks 'One Shining Moment' is bad

That's when Jimmy stopped being a guy's guy. [When he said] that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago... that it's not cool anymore.

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

Patrick Reed's Masters menu looks like what a 14-year-old thinks an adult dinner is.

This menu really is like what a 14 year old would think an adult's menu looks like. He basically was forced to be like well I like steak and and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.

Tiramisu is an overrated dessert

The dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way.

The player who signs second between Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving will be viewed as the follower, not the leader.

Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first. Why is that important? The player that is signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh, my God. This league.

The double dribble by Virginia against Auburn was a clear foul that should be called 90% of the time.

I'm telling you, they missed the double dribble. I mean, that's clear. But... that play that went to the review, everybody that just two days ago was saying, we need to get every call inside two minutes right is all of a sudden anti-replay.

Instant replay has been positive for the NFL and fans generally don't mind the pace of play issues.

I think replay has been good for football... Honestly, I don't know how we'd get through games nowadays without it. I think people mostly don't even notice that it's slowing the game down at all. I think we're mostly glad we have it.

Being a sports fan is way harder than being a professional player

It's totally different as a fan. It's almost more nerve-wracking. You just feel so hopeless... As a fan, I am just, man, I, uh, I'm, I'm a basket case... being a fan is way harder than being a player.

Skip Bayless won by getting the Virginia Cavaliers to talk about him after the title game

Anytime a championship team talks about an analyst, a troll analyst, they won. Mission accomplished. No matter who it is, no matter what it is that's giving Stephen A. Smith attention, Stephen A. is basking in it.

Aaron Rodgers isn't a malicious teammate, just passive-aggressive

I don't think that Aaron Rodgers is as bad as the article might have made him out to be. I don't think he is a maliciously bad teammate. I think he is very passive-aggressive and will cut someone off probably pretty quickly.

Auburn's loss to Virginia is the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game

Auburn, I would say that might be the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game of all time... hitting three free throws in that situation, that's the shit you do in your backyard, and you miss two out of three, and you're like, all right, redo. He was money on all three. And Auburn, I would say that might be the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game of all time.

Kyle Guy is making a strong case for the Jim Nance Tie Player of the Year

He is making a hard case for the Jim Nance tie player of the year. I think if it's not Kyle Guy, I think even if UVA loses the national championship, Jim Nance is going to find a way to get him that tie.

You can't play the 'sliding doors' game with officiating mistakes in a loss

Auburn has a terrible loss but at the end of the day it's like that's kind of how it goes. Like you can't play sliding doors, you can't be like, well this call should have gone another way and it would have changed everything.

Kirk Cousins is an average quarterback who doesn't motivate anyone

Kirk Cousins also gave the pregame speech which is perfectly Kirk Cousins. It was, it didn't motivate a single person and I honestly don't think like Michigan State like didn't lose the game as much as Texas Tech was just so fucking good.

Paul Pierce is making himself look overrated by actively claiming he's better than Dwyane Wade

Paul Pierce made the ultimate error where Paul Pierce is the perfect guy that if he just kind of stays under the radar, everyone will say, hey, you know who's better than people give him credit for? Paul Pierce. But when he says he's like actively says he's better than someone, people will roast him... now you've done the reverse. And everyone's like, Paul Pierce was overrated.

The NBL is a legitimate professional league and its players could hold their own in the NBA

Don't slack on the NBL. I think them guys are professionals... there are some guys that can go out there and probably hold their own in the NBA with no problems at all.

The 2006 Suns were better than the 2007 team that everyone thinks should have won the title

Everybody speculates thinking [2007] was the year we should have won the championship... I don't. [The year before that] was better... I was physically, mentally drained because I was going from Sam Cassell to Elden Brand and Chris Kaman. From Kobe to Lamar to Ron Artest... Then I had to go against Dirk. My body was shut. I was tired. I was dead tired.

Dirk Nowitzki was actually a great defender during the Mavericks' 2011 championship run

Dirk was actually a great defender for us in the championship run. People like, you know, I ain't, but like I said, it's not all about individual defense, but team defense. He was amazing.

LeBron James isn't a bad teammate, but he does show his teammates up too much on the court

He's not a bad teammate... but I'm just going to be real candid and honest, though. I think he shows his teammates up a little bit too much on the court. You know, and, you know, that's just part of him.

LeBron James shows his teammates up too much on the court

I think he shows his teammates up a little bit too much on the court. You know, and, you know, that's just part of him. I mean, you know, he kind of feel like he earned that. And I mean, that's him... but that's one of the things I don't like he does.

The 2018 Evolution event was the best WWE pay-per-view of the year

This year we had our first ever all women's pay-per-view Evolution, which I think stands as the best pay-per-view we've had all year... it blew the roof off the place.

The Undertaker is the most intimidating person in the world

Undertaker is the most intimidating person. There is nothing more intimidating. When he steps in that ring, it's just magical. He's literally a dead man walking.

Referees and umpires are more entertaining when they stand up for themselves

I like umps that stand up for themselves. I think that we've done umps a disservice recently... I like it when they stand up for themselves, when they have a thing like Country Joe West. It's kind of fun knowing that there's a guy out there who's absolutely not what people paid to watch that thinks that he's what people paid to watch.

I am officially panicking about the Cubs in the first week of April

I've already taken the panic button out of my closet for the Cubs. It's April. I know. I don't care... If I have to watch Yu Darvish pitch more fucking walks and Jason Hayward hit into more double plays, I will smash the fuck out of that panic button.

The AAF was a Fire Fest run by people with no plan

It is hilarious to just imagine Bill Polian as being Billy McFarland. Like, drinking like rock stars, fucking like porn stars speech. I guarantee you Bill has said that at some point... Instead of cocaine and tequila on a private island, it was like tortilla chips and a nice beer, just hanging out watching tape.

Lying to your doctor is a universal human experience despite being dangerous

Doctors are the one profession that we should not lie to, but we lie to them the most. All the time... whenever you have to fill out a form, whenever anyone has to ask you, like, hey, give us the honest truth about your health. Yeah, I don't really want to do that.

There are many number one tight ends in the NFL, but Rob Gronkowski and Tony Gonzalez are the standard

Man, I think there's a lot of number one tight ends right now... I'm going to keep going now. It's working for me so far... [Who's the best?] Gronk and Tony [Gonzalez].

The AAF died exactly like the XFL did

This is what we warned you about. This is exactly what happened with the XFL. It just died. And we all got excited. And then it died.

The Alliance of American Football failed because they didn't have an 'L' for League in their name

That was the biggest, actually, problem, is they didn't have an L. Yeah. And you know what? Two vowels at the start of your league? Yes. Listen, these are things that we could have solved.

The AAF was like the cold pizza served at the end of a wedding when the party is already over

I think it was actually the cold pizza that they buy like 50 pizzas at the end of a wedding when the music stops and everyone's sweaty and drunk... That's what the AAF was. The party was over.

Gar Foreman and John Paxson are the idiots in the room now that Ernie Grunfeld is fired

Gar Foreman and John Paxson because now they are the idiots in the room. So it's like you never want to be the last to leave a party. They are the dum-dums. And you could always say, well, it's not Ernie Grunfeld. Well, guess what? Now Ernie Grunfeld's gone, so you are on the hot seat.

The Bears won the Jay Cutler trade

I think we can all look back and say that was a great success. I think the Bears won that trade. I remember vividly... thinking the Bears are probably going to win two Super Bowls from Jay Cutler.

Upperclassmen leadership is the difference in the NCAA tournament

Sometimes you run across a Michigan State team that's as physical and have maybe a little more junior and senior leadership than we had. And that makes a huge difference in the tournament if you have some upperclassmen that give you some experience.

The one-and-done era has watered down both college and NBA basketball

And it's watered down the game a little bit. And then everyone leaving early for the NBA, I think, waters down the NBA a little bit. But it's hard to stop kids from pursuing their dream.

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were the first guards to have guard skills at 6'9"

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first guys I ever saw six nine six ten bringing the ball up having guard skills so to be on a team with them was just awesome.

There is no such thing as a clutch gene

Is the clutch gene real? No, not real at all.

The NFL draft hats are just a way for Roger Goodell to sell more junk

This is what Roger Goodell is really, really good at, and that's just finding a one-off occasion and then selling a bunch of shit on top of it. So they designed all 32 teams brand-new hats.

The NFL released draft hats just to flex on the dying AAF

Basically, they put a big piece of cheese out in the middle of the floor... Snap. You're talking about the NFL in the middle of April. This is the nail in the coffin for the AAF. It's a flex.

The New York Giants draft hat looks like it has a barbed wire tattoo

The Giants one looks like it's got a barbed wire tattoo around the entire hat, which is very appropriate for the fan base.

Zion Williamson was the college basketball season and his departure leaves a hole in the Final Four.

I'm going to miss Zion a lot because he was so much fun to watch this season. He was the college basketball season, and he leaves like a hole in all of our hearts for the Final Four. Zion was the only one who, like, wanted it, I felt like, a lot of times during this Duke run.

Kentucky would destroy Auburn if the game were played on an NBA court instead of a college court.

[Kentucky] has too many NBA caliber players and it doesn't translate to college ball. Kentucky would destroy Auburn on an NBA court... That's actually very, very true.

I doubt the Gonzaga basketball program will ever be able to get over the hump and win a national championship.

I doubt that that [Gonzaga] program will ever get over that hump. It's just they've got that stink on them now. And it's tough to wash it out.

Coach K and John Calipari are more focused on building their brands than winning basketball games.

Cal and Coach K are not playing the same game as everyone else. They're not trying to win basketball games. They're trying to win their brand. They're trying to build their brands and keep the machine just churning. And they don't want anyone to notice.

Zion Williamson is 'one bad weekend away' from being fat.

Zion Williamson, the best way to describe him is, as a bigger guy myself, he's one bad weekend away from being fat. Like, if I go one weekend where I just eat like shit, drink like shit, don't sleep very well, I'll come in Monday morning and everyone will be like, whoa, dude, what happened to you? And it can happen that fast.

The gap between Zion Williamson and the second-best player in college basketball is the largest I have ever seen.

I can't remember a time in my life where the gap between the best player in college basketball and the second best player was so big as it was this year.

Auburn is a nightmare matchup for Virginia because they play fast and shoot a high volume of threes.

Auburn is a nightmare matchup for Virginia in the sense that they play fast and shoot a ton of threes... That's always been Virginia's kryptonite, is teams that just bomb threes on them. So, I don't know. Auburn might be all right.

I am going to miss watching LeBron James in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Everyone out there, please remind us how much fun it's been to talk about LeBron this year because I will have a moment in the first round of the playoffs where I'll be like, I kind of wish LeBron was here.