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Chris Long On UVA's Title + Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club Is Back, EMERGENCY UPDATE - Magic Johnson

Wednesday, April 10, 201925 takes

The Virginia Cavaliers are your National Champions. Recapping the improbable Virginia run from last year to this plus instant replay is getting scorched online ( - ). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Space Jam 2 and Patrick Reed's Masters menu ( - ). 2X Super Bowl Champion and UVA Grad Chris Long joins the show to talk about the National Title Game, and the end of Virginia jokes online ( - ). Rams QB Blake Bortles joins the show to talk about his move to LA and choosing the Rams plus we read the Wikipedia's on Famous Floridians and the San Andreas Fault ( - ). Segments include Kings stay Kings for Skip Bayless, trouble in paradise Aaron Rodgers/Mike McCarthy, and Petty Wars Antonio Brown + Guys on Chicks.

Chris Long and Blake Bortles on UVA's Title and Joining the Rams

The Virginia Cavaliers are national champions, completing a story arc that sounds like a Hollywood script. Big Cat and PFT look back at the journey from the embarrassment of losing to a 16-seed last year to cutting down the nets in Minneapolis. For Big Cat, the redemption story makes the victory even sweeter because the struggle was necessary for the triumph.

Win
Apr 10, 2019
#19083
Big CatBig Cat

Virginia's national title run is one of the coolest stories in sports history

UVA now becomes one of the coolest stories in all of sports going from the loss to UMBC last year as a one seed to a 16 seed never happened before to then get all the way back and go to the national title and win the national championship. It's all like one story. And it all kind of erases. I feel like if they don't have that low, they don't get to this high.

Virginia did win the 2019 National Championship after losing to a 16-seed in 2018.

PFT noted that while people want to talk about the officiating or the double dribble, sometimes you just need a little bit of luck to reach the mountaintop.

Void
Apr 10, 2019
#19084
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The best sports teams are usually the luckiest ones

To me, it seems like the best teams are always the ones that get the luckiest. You can make the case like, oh, Tom Brady shouldn't have as many Super Bowls because the interception bailed him out at the end of the Seattle game... But it turns out that if you have luck that adds up a lot, you're probably just good.

This is a philosophical observation about sports success that is inherently subjective.

Speaking of the game itself, PFT has been tracking a specific betting trend regarding the venue. He believes the elevated floor in football stadiums plays a massive role in how these games start out, suggesting that shooters need time to adjust to the depth perception.

Void
Apr 10, 2019
#25702
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Unders in the first half are a strong betting trend for games played on raised floors in football stadiums.

I've noticed that teams, when they're on that raised floor... in the first half, it seems to me like all the first half unders were hitting on any game that's ever been played on an elevated floor, like in a football [stadium].

The shooting struggles in domes are a well-documented phenomenon in college basketball, though the 'trend' of unders is hard to verify without specific historical data.

Magic Johnson's Tactical Tampering

In the middle of the show, the guys had to pivot for an emergency update regarding Magic Johnson’s shocking resignation as Lakers President. Magic didn't tell Jeannie Buss or LeBron James; he just told the media he wanted to be a "free bird" again. PFT thinks he knows exactly why Magic wanted out of the front office.

Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Magic Johnson resigned as Lakers president so he could spend more time tampering.

We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president. And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering. He was like, I want to be a free bird. Right now I'm a caged bird and I'm not allowed to hit up Russell Westbrook and say, hey, congrats on the 2020.

Hot TakeBasketballHotSarcastic
Magic himself stated during his press conference that he wanted to be able to congratulate players and 'be Magic again,' which many interpreted as wanting to tamper without penalty.

Big Cat thinks this is just the beginning of the bloodletting in Los Angeles. With the Lakers missing the playoffs in LeBron's first year, the pressure is mounting to land a second star, and Big Cat expects LeBron to start handing out pink slips to everyone in the building.

Push
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James will eventually fire everyone in the Lakers organization, including Jeannie Buss

I think LeBron is going to fire everyone if they don't get another star. He'll go all the way up the ladder. He'll probably tell Jeannie Buss she's fired.

LeBron didn't actually fire Jeannie Buss (which he can't), but Luke Walton and Magic Johnson both left shortly after. The team eventually traded for Anthony Davis.

Hot Seat/Cool Throne

Hank put Space Jam 2 on the Hot Seat because LeBron is reportedly having a nightmare of a time finding NBA stars to join the cast. Between Giannis saying no and other stars worried about being subtweeted by their executive producer, the roster is looking thin.

Win
HankHank

LeBron is struggling to find co-stars for Space Jam 2 because players don't want to deal with him

He's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie... Giannis denied him said he doesn't he doesn't like being Hollywood... they're worried about if they go to the movie then they're gonna have to potentially play with him on his team.

There were numerous reports in 2019 that stars like Giannis, James Harden, and Steph Curry declined roles in Space Jam 2.

The Masters is on the Cool Throne, and Big Cat was quick to shut down any suggestion that the tournament is over-promoted. After Patrick Reed released a Champions Dinner menu featuring prime ribeye, mac and cheese, and creamed spinach, Big Cat couldn't help but roast the former champion's palate.

Void
Big CatBig Cat

Patrick Reed's Masters menu looks like what a 14-year-old thinks an adult dinner is.

This menu really is like what a 14 year old would think an adult's menu looks like. He basically was forced to be like well I like steak and and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.

This is a subjective opinion on Patrick Reed's culinary taste.

Chris Long and Blake Bortles

UVA legend Chris Long joined the show from Minneapolis, still riding the high of the victory and a few celebratory shots with Charles Barkley. He defended his Hoos against the replay truthers and the "boring" allegations, while also admitting that watching as a fan is a different kind of torture than playing in a Super Bowl.

Void
Apr 10, 2019
#19094
Chris LongChris Long

Being a sports fan is way harder than being a professional player

It's totally different as a fan. It's almost more nerve-wracking. You just feel so hopeless... As a fan, I am just, man, I, uh, I'm, I'm a basket case... being a fan is way harder than being a player.

The psychological difficulty of being a fan vs. a player is subjective.

Then, the Wikipedia Club returned with our good friend Blake Bortles. Now a member of the Los Angeles Rams, Blake walked the guys through his free agency process and why he decided to shut things down early rather than continue his tour.

Win
Apr 10, 2019
#19095
Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

I chose the Rams over meetings with Denver and Baltimore

The Rams was the first one. And after kind of spending the day there, I knew that was where I wanted to be, so I kind of just shut it down and got it done... I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two.

Bortles actually signed with the Rams on a one-year deal in March 2019.

The guys walked Blake through the list of famous Floridians he’s leaving behind and the geological dangers of his new home, specifically the San Andreas Fault. Blake seems ready for the "big one," though his primary earthquake strategy currently involves hide-and-seek under a desk.

Keep an eye on your phone, because the quest for the next Blake of the Year is already heating up.

ncaa-tournamentuvalakersnfl-free-agencymasterslebron-james

More Takes

Void
Apr 10, 2019
#25703
HankHank

Basketball broadcasts should use the baseline rolling camera angle more frequently.

More basketball games should have the camera that they have on the baseline that rolls with the action. I only see that during the Final Four National Championship.

Inherently subjective preference on sports broadcasting aesthetics.
Push
Apr 10, 2019
#25704
Big CatBig Cat

Texas Tech is officially a basketball school as long as Chris Beard is the coach.

I now officially consider you [Texas Tech] a basketball school as long as Chris Beard stays there.

Chris Beard eventually left for Texas, and Texas Tech has remained a competitive basketball program, though Beard was the catalyst for their peak.
Void
Apr 10, 2019
#19085
Big CatBig Cat

Instant replay should have a shot clock to keep the game moving

We should just have a shot clock on the replays because that would be thrilling. If the ref only has a certain amount of time... if they can't find the replay fast enough, guess what? Tough shit.

This is a policy recommendation for sports broadcasting and officiating.
Void
Apr 10, 2019
#25705
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Sports replays should be broadcast in standard definition to better reflect what the human eye sees.

The replay should be done in standard definition... Going back to standard definition makes you feel like you're intoxicated already. It's blurry as shit. That would be actually a great way to tell.

This is a satirical policy suggestion for sports officiating.
Void
Apr 10, 2019
#19086
HankHank

Jimmy Kimmel is no longer a 'guy's guy' because he thinks 'One Shining Moment' is bad

That's when Jimmy stopped being a guy's guy. [When he said] that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago... that it's not cool anymore.

The quality of a song and a person's status as a 'guy's guy' are subjective.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Steph Curry's ankle injury timing is perfect for providing an excuse if he plays poorly in the playoffs.

Steph Curry getting his yearly sprained ankle so that now when the playoffs start, we can say is Steph really 100% if he starts sucking? That was actually the perfect timing for him to roll his ankle.

Curry and the Warriors won the title in 2022 without such excuses, but the take reflects the 2019 narrative of his 'glass ankles.'
Void
Big CatBig Cat

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

The level of 'hype' an event deserves is subjective.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Tiramisu is an overrated dessert

The dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way.

Taste in dessert is subjective.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

The player who signs second between Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving will be viewed as the follower, not the leader.

Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first. Why is that important? The player that is signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh, my God. This league.

Durant and Irving ended up signing with the Nets together; the leader/follower narrative persisted regardless of timing.
Win
Apr 10, 2019
#25708
Chris LongChris Long

The double dribble by Virginia against Auburn was a clear foul that should be called 90% of the time.

I'm telling you, they missed the double dribble. I mean, that's clear. But... that play that went to the review, everybody that just two days ago was saying, we need to get every call inside two minutes right is all of a sudden anti-replay.

Broad consensus among officials and rules experts was that it was a missed double-dribble.
Void
Apr 10, 2019
#25709
Chris LongChris Long

Instant replay has been positive for the NFL and fans generally don't mind the pace of play issues.

I think replay has been good for football... Honestly, I don't know how we'd get through games nowadays without it. I think people mostly don't even notice that it's slowing the game down at all. I think we're mostly glad we have it.

Public opinion on NFL replay remains highly divided, making this an inherently subjective take.
Win
Apr 10, 2019
#19093
Chris LongChris Long

Tony Bennett has revolutionized Virginia's style of play using Wisconsin's influence

I mean, Dick Bennett, you know. Indirectly a little bit. I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play, right?

Tony Bennett explicitly credits his father's 'Pack Line' defense and coaching philosophy, which was developed at Wisconsin, for his success at Virginia.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

Skip Bayless won by getting the Virginia Cavaliers to talk about him after the title game

Anytime a championship team talks about an analyst, a troll analyst, they won. Mission accomplished. No matter who it is, no matter what it is that's giving Stephen A. Smith attention, Stephen A. is basking in it.

The goal of these analysts is engagement and relevance, which Ty Jerome provided by mentioning them in his post-game press conference.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Aaron Rodgers isn't a malicious teammate, just passive-aggressive

I don't think that Aaron Rodgers is as bad as the article might have made him out to be. I don't think he is a maliciously bad teammate. I think he is very passive-aggressive and will cut someone off probably pretty quickly.

The internal personality traits of a player are subjective and debated among former teammates.
Win
Apr 10, 2019·Petty Wars
#19098
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Antonio Brown is actually nuts and the Steelers will benefit by moving on

The bottom line is both Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Brown are a couple of messy bitches who love drama... It's come out that [AB] is basically like... yeah, he is insane... I could see an addition by subtraction.

The Steelers traded AB and he played only one game for the Patriots before a series of off-field issues essentially ended his peak career. The Steelers remained competitive while AB's tenure in Oakland never even reached the regular season.
Win
Apr 10, 2019·Petty Wars
#25710
Big CatBig Cat

The Raiders should trade Antonio Brown right now while his trade value is at its peak.

The Raiders should trade him. They actually should trade him because it's going to blow up. It's already happening. Just trade him before. He's got the highest amount of—you can get the most for him right now.

The Raiders did not trade him; they eventually released him for nothing after a series of increasingly bizarre incidents. A trade would have been the superior outcome.

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