Takes

Luka Doncic is the best player of all time

Is Luka Doncic the best player of all time? Yes. I think so. I think he's going to be—he's really good. Of all time. He's crazy. 42 point triple double.

RBIs are the most important and only truly meaningful stat in baseball

RBIs are actually the most important stat when you actually look at it... The team who has the most RBIs... I'm not even counting runs anymore.

Bryson DeChambeau is an asshole for deciding to leave the flag pin in while putting

He has decided that this year he will be leaving the pin in when he putts... depending on the coefficient of the restitution of the pin. What an asshole.

Kobe Bryant is the real GOAT because he doesn't need a debate partner

LeBron versus MJ is the GOAT debate... that means that LeBron and MJ need each other to be a part of the goat discussion... which means Kobe's the goat. Kobe doesn't need LeBron or MJ to be considered a goat debate. They're just Kobe. He'd debate against himself. Kobe 8 versus Kobe 24.

Michael Beasley knows too much and is officially 'too woke'

Michael Beasley, I'm following him officially in the category of knows too much... We finally figured out 12% is the point where you reach too woke.

Triple-doubles are actually a sign of a bad team and poor role players

20 of the 23 NBA players who recorded a triple-double have been eliminated from the playoffs. [PFT]: So, turns out triple doubles are actually bad. Really bad... These guys are jacks of all trade, masters of none. You need role players on your team.

Tim Tebow's performance in spring training proves he only knows how to contribute

He grounded into a double play, but he drove in a run... All Tim Tebow does is contribute. I think that's one of those things that you have to look at and be like, you know, this is one of these intangibles that we talk about.

Tiger Woods switched to Bridgestone golf balls so he can blame the equipment for his poor play

I like the choice by Tiger because you go off brand, you can always blame the balls... I thought these balls had the spin and distance and torque that I needed for my game. I was wrong. That's why I broke my back again and it had nothing to do with the steroids.

If the NCAA vacates Notre Dame's wins, they should also vacate Brian Kelly's scandals

Notre Dame managed to lose an NCAA record 21 games in a single day today. They had 21 wins vacated... If they vacated all these wins, then [Brian Kelly] never killed that kid... If you're going to take away the good stuff, you've got to take away the bad stuff.