PMT DB
PMT DB
Scott Darling and Mr. Portnoy on Bowl Ownership and 'Dude' Bans
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are officially bowl owners. Well, under the protection of parody law and squatters' rights, at least. They have claimed the Boca Raton Bowl as their own, officially renaming it the Barstool Sports presents Pardon My Take presents the Boca Raton Wet the Beak Ponzi Scheme Awareness Bowl. It’s a historic move to help out an organization that PFT thinks is truly on its last legs financially.
PFT CommenterThe NCAA is struggling so much that they cannot even afford to pay their labor costs
If you paid attention last week, they announced that I think four bowl games this year didn't have a sponsor. So thoughts and prayers to the NCAA. I don't know how they're going to make any money with all their labor costs being what they are.
The guys are already moving units with a Bernie Madoff trophy and a hype video, but the real action is on the betting lines. If you're looking for a lock, the owners of the bowl have already made their decision on how to handle the total.
PFT CommenterEveryone should bet the over on the 2016 Boca Raton Bowl
Also, let's all bet the over for fun. Just together... Yeah, we're going to hammer the over. Hammer it. Big time.
LeBron's Rest and Color Rush Reviews
LeBron James decided to sit out a game in Memphis, and PFT wasn't having any of the load management excuses. To him, this isn't just about basketball; it's about the families who spent their hard-earned money to see a star who decided to stay home.
PFT CommenterLeBron James is taking money out of kids' pockets by resting for games
It's honestly a little bit disgusting on LeBron's part to take a day off... He's taking money out of kids' pockets. He is.
Big Cat has a different theory. He thinks the King is hiding out after a certain magazine cover didn't do his hairline any favors.
Big CatLeBron James sat out against Memphis just to distract people from his Photoshop hair fail
I actually think he did this purposely to get the story about him missing this game so people would stop talking about his Sportsman of the Year award where they forgot to Photoshop his hair back on.
On a more positive note, the Seahawks debuted their "algae green" uniforms for Color Rush, and Big Cat is ready to crown them the best to ever do it. While PFT thinks they blend in a little too well with certain pharmaceutical side effects, Big Cat is all in on the neon look.
Big CatThe Seahawks' neon algae green uniforms are the best Color Rush uniforms ever
Color Rush happened last night. Best Color Rush uniforms ever. Ever. Seahawks look pretty good. Seahawks are great. Algae green.
Scott Darling Reclaims His Man Card
Chicago Blackhawks goalie Scott Darling returned to the show to discuss the life of an NHL netminder. The guys finally gave him his man card back after taking it away for his yoga habits, but they still had plenty of questions about the physical toll of the position. Darling revealed that the weight loss during a game is pretty staggering.
Scott DarlingProfessional goalies lose 10 to 12 pounds of body weight during a single game through sweat
With goalies, we have more dehydration issues because we sweat like crazy. We got all the gear on, super hot... I probably lose 10 to 12 pounds in a game.
PFT tried to get Darling to admit the Capitals are finally destined for glory, but Darling stayed neutral, even as PFT went all-in on his DC roots.
PFT CommenterThe Washington Capitals will definitely win the Stanley Cup this season
This is definitely the capital season to win the Stanley Cup... No, this is the one. This is the one. This is the one.
Beyond the physical grind, Darling admitted that you have to be wired a little differently to let people fire frozen rubber discs at your face for a living. Between the eye exercises and the visual tracking, the goalie life is a strange one.
Scott DarlingYou have to be a little crazy to be a professional goalie
All goalies are a little bit off. You've got to be a little bit off to do that for a living.
Mr. Portnoy’s Legal Counsel
America’s Lawyer, Michael Portnoy, Esquire, joined the program to discuss the legality of the bowl game acquisition. While he was skeptical of the "squatters' rights" defense, he did find common ground with the guys on the taller members of the new presidential administration.
Mr. PortnoyDonald Trump only appoints tall people to his administration
Senator Corker... did not get the Secretary of State job because the guy that got it [Rex Tillerson] is taller than Corker. Apparently Trump fancies tall people who are billionaires... if you're short, you're going nowhere in the Trump administration.
The main event, however, was the return of Portnoy's Complaints. Mr. Portnoy is officially putting his foot down on the vocabulary of anyone over the age of 30. He’s banning the word "dude" and has a very specific list of alternatives for the guys to use instead.
Mr. PortnoyGrown men over the age of 30 should stop using the word dude
When did the word dude become part of the speech. I don't like that... I really don't mind when someone, a teenager or early 20s, uses it. But when you get older, the thing I hate the most is someone my age using it.
He also took some time to air his grievances with other sports media personalities, specifically Jim Rome. While PFT tried to defend Rome as a pioneer of the craft, Mr. Portnoy wasn't buying the "Jungle" lifestyle.
Mr. PortnoyJim Rome is an awful, irritating broadcaster
Oh, [Jim Rome] is terrible. He's awful. And I mean, another one, what does he have to invent a new language for? And he speaks in a whole different way.
Sabermetrics and Jimbos
The guys closed out the week with some heavy-duty data analysis. PFT looked into the Bill Belichick wardrobe stats, finding a direct correlation between how much of a mess the coach looks like and how many wins the Patriots rack up.
PFT CommenterThe worse Bill Belichick looks, the better the Patriots play
The more I actually review these outfits, it's just the worse he looks, the better they play. It actually makes sense. He's the opposite of look good, play good.
Big Cat also checked in on Tiger Woods' new equipment deal. While the golf world was shocked by the switch to Bridgestone, Big Cat sees it as a strategic move to ensure Tiger always has an excuse ready in the bag.
Big CatTiger Woods switched to Bridgestone golf balls so he can blame the equipment for his poor play
I like the choice by Tiger because you go off brand, you can always blame the balls... I thought these balls had the spin and distance and torque that I needed for my game. I was wrong. That's why I broke my back again and it had nothing to do with the steroids.
Finally, we got some classic Jimbos involving bleached assholes and cat-nappings. PFT ended the show by reminding everyone that while dogs are man's best friend, cats are something much more sinister.
PFT CommenterCats are soul-stealing witches that shouldn't be allowed around babies
This furthers my theory that cats are witches... it is true that cats, when you sneeze, they steal your soul... and they steal baby's breath, too, if you leave a cat in a room with a kid.
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