Takes

Aaron Rodgers will leave the Packers in a few years just like Brett Favre

I think that if he does play this year and he plays well, it's going to be the Brett Favre thing. They're going to give him two more years... And then after a couple seasons, he'll go somewhere else.

Tom Brady will be the starting quarterback for the Chargers in 2020

So you can see pretty easily by those three facts that Tom Brady is going to be the quarterback for the Los Angeles Chargers next year.

Tom Brady selling his home is 'Trouble in Paradise' for the Patriots

Tom Brady. He is putting his house up for sale, which is always sign number one that he might be the new coach of Alabama... Anytime any celebrity gets involved in selling their house, you have to connect that dot just a little bit. It's kind of weird.

The Celtics' internal tension will lead to 20 championships

This tension that they have right now is going to really, it's going to bring the team together as one. They're going to unite. Kyrie's going to be a leader. Then he's going to resign and he's going to stay a Celtic until he actually dies until he's 70 years old and he's going to have 20 championships.

Dwight Howard's career will end with him dominating in China

This is just one step closer to Dwight Howard's perfect ending of his career, and that's just dominating in China... Dwight Howard will go to China and be like yeah everyone loves me no one has told me to fuck off in English.

The Todd Haley and Ben Roethlisberger relationship will not work out in Cleveland

I don't think the Todd Haley, Ben Roethlisberger situation is going to work out... Todd Haley is so detestable he makes Ben Roethlisberger a sympathetic figure. That's incredible.

Kyrie Irving wants to leave Boston for the New York Knicks

There's a lot of rumblings coming out of Boston right now that Kyrie Irving might be thinking about going somewhere else after next season... Kyrie has always had his eyes on New York, and so he's always wanted to be a Nick.

John Calipari will be the next coach of the Phoenix Suns

Now that they fired their coach and there's trouble in paradise, you think of what I'm thinking? Coach Cal. Brandon Knight, Eric Bledsoe, Devin Booker, Tyler Ulis... All went to Kentucky.