Trailblazers CJ McCollum And Mt Rushmore Of Worst Mondays

Kobe Bryant secretly hates that LeBron James joined the Lakers

LeBron's going to be a Laker and now Kobe is silently stewing and he's going to pretend to like this, but you know he hates it.

LeBron James will fake an injury and tank his first season with the Lakers to wait for Kawhi Leonard

I think LeBron, this is going to be a year... and then LeBron is going to do his first year where he fakes an injury. Pretty much broken hand. tanks, and then comes back. Saves it all up. That's why they signed Lance Stevenson... he just stacked the team with a bunch of guys who aren't really going to do anything, and LeBron can sit out for a year.

Phil Jackson will return to coach the Lakers after LeBron's first year

Phil wouldn't come back this year, but maybe once they add another piece or two and LeBron gets his one year of a fake injury out of the way, that is a prime Phil Jackson move to swoop in on an already established, really good team.

Adding any player to the Warriors decreases their chances of winning a title due to chemistry

Honestly, at this point with the Warriors, any addition that they make probably decreases their chances on winning another title. Because it's like they're a perfect team. So no matter who you add, there's always a small chance of it fucking up the chemistry.

The Rockets losing Trevor Ariza and gaining Carmelo Anthony has a bigger impact on the NBA title than Boogie Cousins joining the Warriors

I actually have a hot take. I think the Rockets letting Ariza go and somehow making it Michael Carter Williams or Carmelo Anthony has more of an impact on the title than Boogie Cousins.

The 2022 World Cup will be the 'fall of sports' due to the overlap with the NFL season

I'm calling it right now. It's going to be the fall of sports. It's going to be nonstop sports all the time.

LeBron James will beat up Skip Bayless at some point this year

There's a good chance that LeBron beats up Skip Bayless at some point this year.

Playing mini-golf more than 10 times a year makes you a psychopath

If you play mini golf more than 10 times a year, you're probably a psychopath. Mini golf is fun on vacation, but you realize after 10 holes, you're like, I've had enough mini golf.

Loneliness is healthier if you smoke 15 cigarettes a day to make friends

loneliness has the same effect on morality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day... so if you're lonely, just smoke a bunch of cigarettes and you'll actually be healthier [because you'll make friends outside].

The 2018 Cleveland Browns will win 6 to 8 games and potentially make the playoffs

I'm calling it right now six to eight wins. We may be able to go nine and seven and sneak in as a wild card.

Dwight Howard's career will end with him dominating in China

This is just one step closer to Dwight Howard's perfect ending of his career, and that's just dominating in China... Dwight Howard will go to China and be like yeah everyone loves me no one has told me to fuck off in English.