LeBron James is joining a terrible Lakers team as it is currently constructed

LeBron's going to the Lakers with a terrible team as currently constructed. Magic Johnson did something good with getting LeBron and then immediately followed it up with the weirdest... They got Rondo, they got Lance Stephenson, they got JaVale McGee. They basically just got a bunch of people that don't fit with LeBron whatsoever.

Kobe Bryant secretly hates that LeBron James joined the Lakers

LeBron's going to be a Laker and now Kobe is silently stewing and he's going to pretend to like this, but you know he hates it.

LeBron James will not make the Finals with the Lakers this year

I'm psyched for LeBron to be a Laker. It does throw into jeopardy his attempt at getting 10 Finals losses because he's not going to make the Finals.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.