PMT DB
PMT DB
Blake Bortles and Blake Griffin on Mount Rushmore Season and Phil Mickelson's US Open Meltdown
Mount Rushmore season has officially arrived, and what better way to kick off the summer than with a double-header of the most elite recurring guests in the show's history. Big Cat and PFT Commenter welcome back Blake Bortles and Blake Griffin to tackle some very specific and very stupid categories. Before getting into the drafts, the guys had to address the absolute chaos at the U.S. Open, where the course at Shinnecock Hills was doing its best to break the spirit of every millionaire golfer on the planet.
The Spirit of Golf is Dead
Phil Mickelson decided to treat the U.S. Open like a local muni on a Saturday afternoon, chasing down a moving putt and hitting it back toward the hole. While the golf hardos were clutching their pearls and talking about "honor," Big Cat was busy enjoying the spectacle of a man simply giving up on the rules of physics.
Big CatPhil Mickelson disgraced the game of golf by hitting a moving ball at the U.S. Open
He basically disgraced the game of golf. I actually saw Golf Channel wrote an article saying not only did Phil Mickelson manipulate the rules of golf, he broke the spirit of the game. True. He broke it. There's no more spirit left.
The USGA spent the weekend being the ultimate villain, making the greens so fast they resembled a marble rolling down the hood of a Tesla. While the athletes were miserable, Big Cat found himself rooting for the chaos to continue forever.
Big CatI love the USGA for making courses so hard that millionaire athletes complain
I hope they [USGA] make every single course from now until the end of time the hardest course in the world, just so we can hear millionaire athletes say, this game has gotten too hard for us.
Speaking of guys who didn't win but are somehow "back," Tiger Woods' performance at the U.S. Open was a classic case of what could have been if you just ignore the parts where he played poorly.
Big CatTiger Woods basically finished second in the U.S. Open if you don't count the first and second holes
If you had taken out the first and second hole, Tiger [Woods] would have finished second in the U.S. Open. So he's kind of back.
World Cup Vibes and Who's Back
Mexico taking down Germany caused an actual earthquake, and PFT is fully immersed in the world of soccer. Between the German coach smelling his own armpits and the ball skipping more than a Jablani, there's plenty to keep an eye on. PFT is even starting to wonder if a certain GOAT is holding his team back through sheer pressure.
PFT CommenterArgentina might be better at the World Cup without Lionel Messi
I think that Argentina might be better without Messi now. The whole team, they're in the win-win-for-Messi mode. And it weighs on their shoulders. Too much pressure.
Hank's Who's Back segment featured a deep dive into the Degrassi reunion, which he believes was a tactical maneuver by Drake to distract everyone from the fact that Pusha T essentially ended his career on a Tuesday.
HankDrake's Degrassi reunion video was a calculated response to Pusha T's diss track
Drake decided that his response for the diss track basically coming at his entire livelihood... was to just do a video from his childhood acting days. Big Degrassi reunion.
Mount Rushmore: Times to Cry and Dumb Trades
Blake Bortles joined the program to draft the Mount Rushmore of things that make you cry. Even though he famously didn't cry after the AFC Championship game (it was just water, folks), he has some strong thoughts on the emotional weight of dogs returning from the military and Gary Bertier getting paralyzed in Remember the Titans.
Then, Blake Griffin stepped up for the Mount Rushmore of dumbest trades in history. The draft covered everything from Bitcoin pizza to the Louisiana Purchase. Big Cat made sure to remind everyone that the Vikings basically gifted the Cowboys a decade of dominance.
Big CatThe Herschel Walker trade is the worst in NFL history
I'll go with the worst trade in NFL history, Herschel Walker to the Vikings that basically started the entire dynasty for the Cowboys in the 90s... and then the Cowboys won three Super Bowls.
PFT took the opportunity to take a swipe at his own favorite targets, declaring that the Chicago Bears' acquisition of Jay Cutler belongs in the hall of fame for terrible decisions.
PFT CommenterThe Chicago Bears getting Jay Cutler was the worst trade of all time
So my worst trade of all time probably, I know this is my fourth, but it's really the worst, was the Chicago Bears getting Jay Cutler. Really bad trade. Very terrible trade.
Wrapping Up
Between the draft picks, Blake Griffin gave some insight into the world of NBA aesthetics. He shared a recent Google search history that led him down a rabbit hole of LeBron James' physique, which he describes as more "prototypical" than people realize.
Blake GriffinLeBron James has the prototypical NBA body, not a super jacked one
LeBron's a big, strong guy, but he's not like... I feel like people think he's just jacked from head to toe, and I feel like he's got big shoulders. He's got the prototypical NBA body, like a smaller chest, skinny waist, and big arms.
The episode closed out with a look at the Kawhi Leonard drama and the toxic relationship between Ben Roethlisberger and Todd Haley, a pairing so dysfunctional it actually makes Big Ben look like the good guy.
Big CatThe Todd Haley and Ben Roethlisberger relationship was never going to work out
I don't think the Todd Haley, Ben Roethlisberger situation is going to work out... Todd Haley is so detestable he makes Ben Roethlisberger a sympathetic figure. That's incredible. That is quite a skill.
If you see a guy in a fanny pack crying to Fleetwood Mac in a McDonald's parking lot, just know that Mount Rushmore season is officially in full swing.
