Introducing the Pardon My Take Database

Ten years. It has been ten years since the first, reggae horn littered episode of Pardon My Take dropped. In that time, Big Cat, PFT, Hank, and the rest of the crew have made thousands of bold predictions about everything from sports to business to whether Oreos taste good dipped in water. They have also gotten away with almost all of it, because nobody, myself included, has the kind of life where they go back and check. With the help of AI, I have now become that person. I am not better for it.

The Pardon My Take Database has practically every take from every episode¹, extracted from transcripts, scored for accuracy, and rated for spiciness. 26,000+ takes. All searchable. All with timestamps. The permanent record is open.

The Take Slip

Every take gets a slip. Here is a good one:

Win

Take Slip·May 31, 2022

#9429#PMT-2022-0531-9429

Stavros Halkias

Ime Udoka is the best at laying pipe among NBA coaches

You look at the Celtics Ime Udoka lays pipe better than any of these motherfuckers. Feels like he could spoil shit and he goes down. Yeah. She knows that he's not the whole package though.

1:10:37Hot TakeBasketballScorchingSarcastic

While meant as a joke about physical presence, Udoka was suspended months later for an affair with a staff member, making this take legendary in retrospect.

Thats Stavvy on the show in May 2022, declaring Ime Udoka "the best at laying pipe" among NBA coaches. Five out of five peppers on the spiciness scale. Scored correct four months later when the scandal broke, which is the kind of result that makes you wonder if we are living in a simulation and the guy running it listens to PMT. Click the timestamp and the audio player slides out so you can hear the exact moment he said it.

Every take is tagged with a category, spiciness rating, and correctness verdict. You can search and filter by speaker, year, spiciness, category, whatever you want. There are also curated collections like the Hall of Shame and Fraud Watch, which is where you go if you want to feel better about your own opinions.

The Speaker Card

Every person who has ever made a take on the show gets a stat card:

2017 — 2024Regular

Billy Football

458 Takes

.331

AVG

.744

SLG

32K

SHU

-0.57

TVOA

Billy Football. Swinging for the fences every at bat and mostly whiffing. In baseball, a .331 batting average would make you an All-Star. In the take game, it puts you below the Mendoza Line². A special category of guy who is confident enough to say things and wrong enough to keep it interesting. The stats you see here (batting average, slugging, Scoville rating, TVOA) are all explained in the glossary. Every speaker from Big Cat to the most obscure one-time guest has a full page with all their takes.

Episodes

All 1,531 episodes are browsable. Every episode page has its takes listed in order with timestamps and a player so you can jump right to the moment. If you remember a take but not the episode, search for it. If you remember the episode but not the take, browse it. Or just use the global search in the sidebar to find anything.

The Comments Section

And finally, the most important part of the site: the comments section. Sadly, a lot of sites have been dropping their comments sections (not gonna name names), but at the PMTDB I believe that the internet commenter is as important, if not more important, than the artist, writer, or engineer. So the comments will always remain open to people of all outstanding warrant counts. That said, there are a few ground rules:

1. Use a passphrase. It is your identity as a commenter. Some places call this a tripcode. Make it something unique that you will remember. The passphrase is never stored, only a one-way hash. And DO NOT use the same passphrase you use on other sites. If another commenter uses the same one, they will realize you share a password, and that is on you.
2. Frequent misspellings, barely literate grammar, and conspiratorial anxiety are actively encouraged. As a internet commenter once said: If you care more about SPELLING then you do about TELLING, theres the door.
3. When relevant, start your comment with "As a [X] fan". For instance, "As a Raiders fan, the font on the take cards is too small for me to read because they cut computer access at the prison I currently reside at."
4. Be nice.

This whole site is a work in progress, so expect some rough edges. The takes were extracted and scored using LLMs, which means some of them are going to be wrong. For instance, by the time you are reading this, there is an 80% chance the card image for the horse racing guy has changed back to the black Randy Moss. The comments section on this post is a great place to point out its flaws. My own username is CrimsonHumbleTruther#ee6654. Nice to meet you.