PMT DB
PMT DB
Chris Jones Combine Wardrobe Malfunction and the All-Time Bad Moment for White Guys
The NFL Combine is usually a place where prospects try to shave tenths of a second off their 40-yard dash, but Chris Jones managed to steal the entire weekend by having his equipment literally burst through his shorts. Big Cat and PFT Commenter couldn't stop thinking about the sheer physics involved in such a moment. While most people are trying to keep their blood in their legs to run faster, Jones seemingly had other things going on.
Big CatChris Jones' combine wardrobe malfunction was an all-time bad moment for white guys
Chris Jones at the combine, his [package] flop out at the end of his 40 run, which by the way... that was an all time bad moment for white guys because we were like, is that guy like, is he hard or something? That's not only his at rest perspective.
PFT Commenter took it a step further, suggesting that the display of physical dominance was so overwhelming it felt like a targeted attack on a specific demographic.
PFT CommenterChris Jones' physical endowment is a hate crime against white people
I think you could make the claim that it was maybe a hate crime against white people that that he looked so physically well endowed that his package straight up burst through his shorts while he was running.
The logistics of the situation are what really boggled the mind. PFT Commenter speculated that there might have been some sort of small demolition unit or thermite involved because a standard pair of athletic shorts should be able to contain a human being under normal circumstances. Instead, it looked like a hot air balloon inflating in real-time.
Big CatA combine wardrobe malfunction is the best way to let the world know you're well-endowed
It's rare that you can get it out there in a non-bragging way... This, when you actually think about it, this is probably the best possible way to let the whole world know, like, hey, I'm about to become an NFL player, make millions of dollars, and oh yeah, did you see [that]?
Rather than being embarrassed, the consensus was that this is a massive win for Jones' personal brand. There are only a few ways this kind of information gets out to the public, and most of them involve leaked tapes or locker room accidents that feel a bit more invasive. This was just pure, raw athleticism on a national stage. PFT Commenter thinks Jones shouldn't just ignore it; he should lean into it as his entire persona as he enters the league.
PFT CommenterChris Jones should fully embrace the 'big dick' brand by wearing painted-on jeans to press conferences
I think he needs to just run with this and totally embrace it and always be the guy with a [large package]. Like show up to press conferences wearing like extremely tight pants. If you want to wear compression shorts, go for it. But if you have to wear jeans or whatever for the dress code, wear painted on jeans and just have that snake hanging down to your knee.
Big Cat noted that usually, this kind of reputation only comes from the rumor mill, citing guys like Serge Ibaka who have reached legendary status without the benefit of a slow-motion replay on the NFL Network.
Big CatSerge Ibaka being well-endowed is a known fact confirmed by rumors
[Serge Ibaka]... Everyone knows [he's] got a big dick. That's just a fact from a rumor.
Ultimately, if you're about to become an NFL millionaire, there are worse ways to introduce yourself to the world than by breaking your own clothing with sheer physical presence.
Chris Jones just raised the bar for what it means to be a physical specimen at the combine.
