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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Chris Jones should fully embrace the 'big dick' brand by wearing painted-on jeans to press conferences

I think he needs to just run with this and totally embrace it and always be the guy with a [large package]. Like show up to press conferences wearing like extremely tight pants. If you want to wear compression shorts, go for it. But if you have to wear jeans or whatever for the dress code, wear painted on jeans and just have that snake hanging down to your knee.

Jones did not pursue this specific fashion-based branding strategy during his NFL career.

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Void
Mar 1, 2016
#20357
Big CatBig Cat

Chris Jones' combine wardrobe malfunction was an all-time bad moment for white guys

Chris Jones at the combine, his [package] flop out at the end of his 40 run, which by the way... that was an all time bad moment for white guys because we were like, is that guy like, is he hard or something? That's not only his at rest perspective.

This is a subjective comedic opinion and cannot be factually proven or disproven.
Loss
Mar 1, 2016
#20358
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Chris Jones' physical endowment is a hate crime against white people

I think you could make the claim that it was maybe a hate crime against white people that that he looked so physically well endowed that his package straight up burst through his shorts while he was running.

The statement is satirical and literally incorrect, as physical appearance/wardrobe malfunctions are not hate crimes.
Void
Mar 1, 2016
#20360
Big CatBig Cat

Serge Ibaka being well-endowed is a known fact confirmed by rumors

[Serge Ibaka]... Everyone knows [he's] got a big dick. That's just a fact from a rumor.

This refers to the viral 'Serge Ibaka sweatpants' photo from 2013. While a 'fact from a rumor' is an oxymoron, the rumor itself is very real in sports culture.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

The claim is a counterfactual and cannot be definitively verified.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

Hurts' passing production against Tennessee will determine this prediction.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.

The Jaguars' win and their resulting standing in PFT's power rankings are the relevant conditions; the ranking itself is subjective.