Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Chris Jones should fully embrace the 'big dick' brand by wearing painted-on jeans to press conferences

I think he needs to just run with this and totally embrace it and always be the guy with a [large package]. Like show up to press conferences wearing like extremely tight pants. If you want to wear compression shorts, go for it. But if you have to wear jeans or whatever for the dress code, wear painted on jeans and just have that snake hanging down to your knee.

OpinionLifeHotSarcastic
Jones did not pursue this specific fashion-based branding strategy during his NFL career.

More from this episode

View episode
Void
Mar 1, 2016
#20357
Big CatBig Cat

Chris Jones' combine wardrobe malfunction was an all-time bad moment for white guys

Chris Jones at the combine, his [package] flop out at the end of his 40 run, which by the way... that was an all time bad moment for white guys because we were like, is that guy like, is he hard or something? That's not only his at rest perspective.

This is a subjective comedic opinion and cannot be factually proven or disproven.
Loss
Mar 1, 2016
#20358
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Chris Jones' physical endowment is a hate crime against white people

I think you could make the claim that it was maybe a hate crime against white people that that he looked so physically well endowed that his package straight up burst through his shorts while he was running.

The statement is satirical and literally incorrect, as physical appearance/wardrobe malfunctions are not hate crimes.
Void
Mar 1, 2016
#20360
Big CatBig Cat

Serge Ibaka being well-endowed is a known fact confirmed by rumors

[Serge Ibaka]... Everyone knows [he's] got a big dick. That's just a fact from a rumor.

This refers to the viral 'Serge Ibaka sweatpants' photo from 2013. While a 'fact from a rumor' is an oxymoron, the rumor itself is very real in sports culture.

More from PFT Commenter

View profile
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

This is a hyperbolic counterfactual that cannot be proven, making it subjective.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Michigan is already the favorite to win the National Championship again next season.

Michigan I think is right now the favorites to win next season. Tough to win back to back, but he has to hit the portal. He has to be active... which he already is.

This is a prediction for the next college basketball season.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.

Subjective opinion about the direction of college sports governance.

Search

Search takes, episodes, and speakers