Chris Jones' combine wardrobe malfunction was an all-time bad moment for white guys

Chris Jones at the combine, his [package] flop out at the end of his 40 run, which by the way... that was an all time bad moment for white guys because we were like, is that guy like, is he hard or something? That's not only his at rest perspective.

Chris Jones' physical endowment is a hate crime against white people

I think you could make the claim that it was maybe a hate crime against white people that that he looked so physically well endowed that his package straight up burst through his shorts while he was running.

Chris Jones should fully embrace the 'big dick' brand by wearing painted-on jeans to press conferences

I think he needs to just run with this and totally embrace it and always be the guy with a [large package]. Like show up to press conferences wearing like extremely tight pants. If you want to wear compression shorts, go for it. But if you have to wear jeans or whatever for the dress code, wear painted on jeans and just have that snake hanging down to your knee.

The Chargers' game against the Raiders is a must-win

The Chargers might have the most must-win game of all time playing the Raiders with the schedule they have. If they don't win this week, it's over.

Texas won; Ohio State choked

I'll say Texas win, Ryan Day choke. The play calling, I don't know, maybe they got too conservative. I think they probably did.

Oregon is probably out if it loses to USC

The USC game will be massive. If Oregon loses that game, they're probably out.