PMT DB
PMT DB
JB Smoove, US Soccer Legend Tim Howard, and Football in July
It is officially the holiday break, and while the rest of the world is lighting off fireworks, we’re getting a massive three-hour dose of Pardon My Take. This isn't just your standard best-of clip show; Big Cat and PFT Commenter delivered three brand new interviews and two fresh Mount Rushmores to keep the AWLs fueled through the long weekend.
US Soccer and the Pitch King
The episode kicks off with US soccer legend Tim Howard. With the Women's World Cup heating up, Howard joined to discuss his legendary career and the psychological warfare of being a goalkeeper. PFT Commenter didn't hesitate to put Howard at the top of the mountain for American soccer.
PFT CommenterTim Howard is the greatest male U.S. soccer player of all time
I would say the greatest, the greatest male U.S. soccer player. Landon Donovan, Cobi Jones, Alexi Lalas, Dempsey, Dempsey, Freddie Adu. That's it. That's the list.
Howard offered some fascinating perspective on why the U.S. struggles to dominate the world stage, suggesting our youth programs are too "nice" with their orange slices compared to the street-bred desperation of international powerhouses. He also dropped a bit of news regarding his own future on the pitch.
Tim HowardI am officially retiring from professional soccer after the 2019 season
I'm retiring after this year. [Big Cat: Have you said that?] Yeah.
We then shifted gears to J.B. Smoove, who might be the most energetic guest to ever walk into the office. Best known as Leon Black from *Curb Your Enthusiasm*, Smoove talked about his time as a writer at SNL and the "Butterfly Effect" of firing his agent and a friend passing away that led him to auditioning for Larry David.
JB SmooveI would have been a better cast member than a writer at Saturday Night Live
I really was probably better off as a cast member. I wasn't a writer when I got on the show. I think because I actually auditioned for cast... I came in with no writing experience, but I were amazing with your ideas.
Smoove’s stories about pitching "Ass Pregnant" at SNL and telling Larry David he might slap him in the face during his Curb audition are legendary. He is essentially Leon in real life, carrying a "Leon cup" on set so Larry doesn't touch his straw.
The Fielders and Football in July
Prince and Cecil Fielder joined the show to promote "Body by BBQ," which led to some incredible father-son banter. Cecil reminisced about making Prince hit left-handed as a toddler, a move that clearly paid off for both of their Hall of Fame-caliber careers.
If you can hit left-handed, you can own the game of baseball
Lefties are really on the game. I mean, if you can hit left-handed, you can own the game. During [Prince Fielder's] career, he owned the game while he was playing it.
Cecil also had to remind everyone that while Prince hit bombs, Dad hit the balls that actually left the premises.
My son Prince hits bombs, but I hit balls that leave stadiums
I told him one time, he hits bombs, I leave stadiums, and that's it.
As the calendar turns to July, the focus shifts toward training camp. The "Football in July" segment features heavy hitters like Patrick Mahomes, John Harbaugh, and Ike Taylor. Ike Taylor provided one of the most interesting locker room insights of the year, blaming a culture shift on the departure of a specific superstar.
Ike TaylorThe Steelers locker room culture fell apart because Le'Veon Bell left
The locker room wasn't the locker room until Le'Veon left. Like, Le'Veon is the mediator of everything. He's somebody you want to have in that locker room.
We also got a dose of Jeff Fisher, who is clearly itching to get back on an NFL sideline after spending his time off being chased by moose in Montana.
Jeff FisherI am ready and willing to return to coaching football in the NFL
I didn't know what my cabin in Montana looked like in September. And so I got an opportunity to do that. But you can only take so many trips to Alaska or Argentina... so I'm good with coaching again.
No football segment is complete without the draft gurus. Mel Kiper and Todd McShay joined for a trip down memory lane, including the infamous Mel Kiper retirement bet that has technically been due for a few years now.
Mel KiperI will retire if Jimmy Clausen is not a successful NFL quarterback
If Jimmy Clausen is not a successful quarterback in the NFL, I'm done. That's it. I'm out... I want eight years.
Mount Rushmore and Throne Takes
The new content continued with the Mount Rushmore of Summer Songs. PFT Commenter went with a classic that seems to play at every sporting event not played on ice.
PFT CommenterSmooth by Santana and Rob Thomas is the ultimate #1 summer song
Smooth. Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas. 20 years ago. It feels like it came out yesterday. It does. The way that they play it on every sporting event.
Big Cat rounded out his list with the ultimate driving tune for a sunny afternoon.
Big CatBlue Sky by The Allman Brothers is the best summer car song
Allman Brothers, Blue Sky. When that song hits, when you're in the car, oof, nothing better, nothing better.
Finally, we revisited some of the show's most unhinged Game of Thrones takes. Looking back on the final season, the comparisons between Westeros and the NFL were flying, specifically regarding the White Walkers' lack of a coherent scheme.
Big CatThe White Walkers fight like a bunch of seven-year-olds playing soccer where everyone just runs to the ball
The White Walkers... they're super aggressive, right? But they're dumb as shit... They básicamente are... I mean, they're all just running... it's like basically playing... they fight like a bunch of like seven-year-olds play basketball. Everyone runs to the ball. Bunch ball. And no one's spacing anything out.
Between PFT Commenter’s theories on the Night King’s chemical habits and Big Cat comparing the finale to the Seinfeld ending, it’s clear the show left a bitter taste in everyone's mouth.
PFT CommenterThe Night King in Game of Thrones just really loves cocaine
All I took away from The Night King... He fucking loves cocaine. biggest showboater of all time. Like, bro, you were walking so slow to try to win that game.
Big CatThe ending of Game of Thrones was as cheesy as the Seinfeld finale
The whole thing was cheesy as fuck, and then they're sitting around, like, the ending of, like, Seinfeld sitting in the jail. Where they're all sitting around the table at King's Landing, like, ha-ha, whoa, we gotta get more wheat for the winter... it turned into them playing SimCity around a table at the end.
Enjoy the hot dogs and the fireworks, but remember to save some of this three-hour marathon for your hungover Friday at the office.
