PMT DB
PMT DB
Theo Von on Coach O, Steroids, and the Stray Animal Belt
The NBA Playoffs are in full swing, and Big Cat and PFT are navigating the new studio layout, which includes actual functioning TVs. This is a blessing and a curse as they try to keep one eye on a Blues-Stars Game 7 overtime while discussing the Sixers getting absolutely dismantled by Kawhi Leonard and the Raptors. Big Cat is leaning into the knee-jerk reactions, feeling like the Sixers might have already celebrated their championship after winning Game 3.
Big CatThe Sixers will win Game 6 against the Raptors and force a Game 7
I think the Sixers probably will win game six, will go seven. But this is a beat. Whenever a team loses like this in a series, you're like, how the hell? I know we're just doing knee-jerk reactions, but how the hell are the Sixers going to come back from that.
PFT offered a heartfelt apology to Raptors coach Nick Nurse, though it wasn't exactly for his coaching ability. It turns out PFT was just judging a book by its cover, or more specifically, a coach by his name.
PFT CommenterNick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach
I'd like to just go ahead and apologize to Nick Nurse. I judged a book by its cover big time when they hired him. And I'm wrong. It's a terrible name. Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach. I stand by that take.
Speaking of the playoffs, the conversation shifted to the massive LeBron-shaped hole that was expected in the postseason. Surprisingly, the star power of Giannis, KD, and Harden has filled the void perfectly. Big Cat is officially moving on from the King.
Big CatI do not miss LeBron James in the NBA playoffs anymore
I don't miss LeBron. I don't miss LeBron in these playoffs anymore. I missed him in the first round. The first round felt hollow without LeBron. But I do not miss LeBron anymore because these are the best playoffs we've had in a very long time.
The Celtics Blame Game
Hank joined the conversation to sift through the wreckage of the Celtics' season. After a year of "flipping the switch" talk, the switch was nowhere to be found against Milwaukee. Hank put the blame squarely on one man’s shoulders, and Big Cat was quick to agree that the "alpha" label might have been premature for Kyrie Irving.
HankKyrie Irving is primarily to blame for the Celtics' disappointing season
Kyrie, one. Far and away. He's supposed to be the leader. He's the guy. He kind of fucked himself here because the whole way he left Cleveland, he's like, I want to be the guy. You're going to get judged as the guy.
Big CatKyrie Irving is only the seventh or eighth best player in the NBA and cannot be the 'alpha' on a title team
Kyrie, he's right below it, but he's not one of those guys. He's not a Giannis. He's not a Kawhi. He's not a KD, a LeBron... He's, like, maybe the seventh, eighth best player in the NBA, but the top five guys are the guys that you need to win to be the alphas on a championship team.
While the national media fixates on the Warriors versus the Warriors drama, PFT is looking for a more refined basketball experience. Forget the flopping and the foul-hunting in Houston; the real purists are looking toward the Pacific Northwest.
PFT CommenterTrue basketball fans prefer the Nuggets-Trail Blazers series over Warriors-Rockets
If you're a basketball purist, you say, forget about the Rockets and the Warriors just tricking each other into fouling on three-pointers. That's not basketball. You know what my basketball is? Guard play. Excellent guard play and good, crisp dribbling. And that's what you get in the Nuggets Trailblazers.
Big Cat is so confident in the young stars of the Nuggets and Blazers that he’s making some high-stakes promises involving municipal sewage systems.
Big CatIf the Nuggets or Trail Blazers win the NBA title, I will swim in a sewage pipe
If the Nuggets or the Blazers win an NBA championship, I will eat Portland or Denver's asshole, meaning I will swim in one of their sewage pipes.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Liquid Death
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a deep dive into the marketing genius of "Liquid Death," a canned water startup for people who think plastic bottles are for pussies. Big Cat and PFT are fully bought into the idea of waterboarding-themed commercials and tall boys of H2O.
On the football side, Hank put the Browns on the Hot Seat for their burgeoning dynasty talk. PFT agreed that while the talent in Cleveland is undeniable, history tells a very specific story about the Browns and expectations.
PFT CommenterThe 2019 Browns have high talent but are destined for heartbreak
In my opinion, they definitely have the most talent inside their entire division, if not one of the top two or three in the AFC. And I hope that they do really well, but I've been watching the NFL for long enough to know that when you're certain of something being good, that's when it's going to be bad.
Big Cat also took aim at Max Kellerman for some truly scorching takes, specifically the idea that Larry Fitzgerald isn't a guaranteed lock for the Hall of Fame.
Big CatLarry Fitzgerald is a 100% lock for the first-ballot Hall of Fame
There's never been more of a lock for Hall of Fame than Larry Fitzgerald. He will be 100% first vote.
Theo Von In Studio
The legendary Theo Von joined the show to talk about his Louisiana roots, his time on the "Sean steroid" diet in high school, and his rise in the comedy world. Theo brought his signature flavor to the interview, explaining why the "stray animal belt" of the South creates a better ecosystem for alphaness.
Theo VonLouisiana is the stray animal belt of America where animals still have 'alphaness'
I mean, I think look dude, a lot of legend lives down there... I wouldn't say a zoo, but I think [the lemurs] escaped somebody, somebody who may be a startup zoo... I just like there to be alphas because you got to even it all out, man... you had dog balls everywhere. You had more of an ecosystem.
Theo also touched on the current state of Hollywood and why people are gravitating toward podcasts like Joe Rogan’s. He explained that the corporate polish has worn off, and fans are looking for people who don't have their stories scrubbed by third-generation nepotism.
Theo VonHollywood lacks real stories because it is run by third-generation nepotism
I think Hollywood just didn't see like they thought that they just like narrowed everybody's mind and cornered them and owned them so much and corporations that they had just owned them so much that they could do whatever they want with them... it's nepotism now. It's a lot of third generation. Nobody from the middle of America. Nobody has any stories.
PFT compared Rogan’s interviewing style to a specific type of high-energy pet, which Theo seemed to think was a fair assessment of the Rogan orbit.
PFT CommenterJoe Rogan is like a golden retriever that's brave enough to do DMT
I think Joe Rogan's the best interviewer because he's curious. He's genuinely curious. He's like a golden retriever that's brave enough to do DMT.
The show wrapped up with a quick check-in on the horse racing world, where Big Cat defended Country House’s decision to skip the Preakness to avoid being the Joel Embiid of the track.
Big CatCountry House skipping the Preakness is a smart move to protect his legacy
If I'm country house, if I'm that horse, I'd probably do the exact same thing. Because you're never going to top that. You are going out completely at the top of your game. You're a Kentucky Derby winner. And why would you ever try to follow that up?
Remember to boop your dog on the way out the door so they don't get CGI-level separation anxiety.
