PMT DB
PMT DB
Terry McLaurin on the Commanders, Urban Meyer, and Pre-Crime Mount Rushmore
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are buzzing with the news that the Big Ten has officially hijacked the greatest anthem in sports. With the new media deal finalized, the iconic CBS college football theme is moving from the SEC to the Midwest. Big Cat is already envisioning a 3:30 PM Rutgers versus USC matchup accompanied by that glorious orchestral swell.
Big CatThe Big Ten has officially captured the greatest sports song by taking the CBS theme
The big 10 has captured the greatest sports song. I'll be honest... it's official. The big 10 has captured the greatest sports song... but it's, it's mine now, baby. It's mine now.
Beyond the musical shifts, the guys touched on the Deshaun Watson 11-game suspension. PFT immediately sniffed out the NFL’s scheduling games, noting that the suspension length conveniently lines up for a specific Week 13 return.
PFT CommenterThe NFL gave Deshaun Watson an 11-game suspension specifically so his return would be against the Texans
Why is it 11 games? That's a weird number. Right? So you look at the schedule that game that he'd be coming back would be against the Houston Texans. So they have to talk about it all the time throughout the entire game... Homecoming.
Patrick Reed’s All-Time Lawsuit
The sports world gave us a gift this week in the form of Patrick Reed suing Brandel Chamblee. PFT read through the filing, which includes a literal list of heckles Reed has endured on the course. Being called "the excavator" or a "coward" apparently requires a high degree of concentration to overcome. Big Cat suggested they should join the lawsuit as co-plaintiffs since Brandel’s mean words clearly hurt their own gambling slips whenever they bet on Reed.
Mount Rushmore of Pre-Crime
In one of the most revealing drafts in show history, the crew identified the behaviors that practically guarantee someone is a future criminal. Things got dark early when Hank targeted people who use their body as a tool.
HankOpening bottles with your teeth is a definitive sign of being a criminal
Opening bottles with your teeth... It is crazy. It blows my mind. Glass bottles are not supposed like your teeth or your teeth... some people I have, I have a friend that would do it. Like, do you have a bottle? I have a bottle opener. And he's like, no, let me do it with my teeth... it's concerning.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the animal kingdom, specifically people who choose to live with creatures that are actively plotting their demise.
Big CatOwning a snake as a pet is a definitive pre-crime sign
Our first pick, we're gonna go with owning a snake as a pet. Anyone who owns snakes, fucking pre-crime city. You're just waiting for the snake to just escape in your house and then kill you in your sleep... If you own a snake, I just assume at some point you will commit a crime. It's part of your DNA.
As the draft went on, the picks got increasingly specific. Jake Marsh went after parents in high-traffic areas, while PFT went back in history for the ultimate "nature versus nurture" debate.
Jake MarshParents who put their children on leashes are committing a pre-crime
Our second pick is gonna be parents who put their kids on leashes... I understand that if you're in crowds, you don't want them running off. But just like, I don't know. I don't yeah. A leash on a kid is fucked up.
PFT CommenterBeing born in Northern Austria on April 20th, 1889 is the ultimate pre-crime indicator
Our second pick. I can't believe this one lasted this long actually for pre-crime is being born in Northern Austria on April 20th, 1889. Big time pre crime. Pre-crime I actually like just pre-death penalty. Just kill that baby.
Before the segment ended, Hank made sure to call out the ultimate office etiquette violation that should lead straight to a precinct.
HankEating fish for lunch in the office should be a real crime
We're gonna go with eating fish for lunch in the office. Should be a crime. Yeah. Should be, yeah. Should be a real, it should be a real crime. Yes. It's definitely pre-crime yes. Like you just have no standards or like, you know, empathy for any of your coworkers or peers.
Terry McLaurin Joins the Show
Washington Commanders wide receiver Terry McLaurin joined the guys to talk about his massive new contract extension. He shared the story of how Urban Meyer originally gave him the "middle thumb" at an Ohio State camp because he didn't think Terry could catch. McLaurin responded by catching 200 balls a day for two weeks to earn his offer.
Naturally, the conversation turned to the revolving door of quarterbacks Terry has played with in DC. While he’s focused on the future with Carson Wentz, he still has high praise for his former Buckeye teammate Joe Burrow.
Terry McLaurinJoe Burrow has an uncoachable 'it' factor that makes players want to go to war with him
We all knew what was in Joe Burrow from the person that he was, the leader that he was, and the player that he was. He just has that, that 'it' that you can't coach when it comes to football in general... he's that type of dude where you wanna go to war with him any day, any week. The person is the reason why you see the player.
Speaking of Wentz, PFT came prepared with a very specific statistical anomaly that should give Commanders fans hope—provided the thermostat stays exactly in one spot.
PFT CommenterCarson Wentz is the statistically best quarterback ever when the temperature is exactly 73 degrees
In exactly 73 degree weather, Carson Wentz is the number one quarterback of all time in yards per attempt. So you gotta have something like you gotta check your weather app on Sundays. If it's 73 degrees outside, start Terry McLaurin on your fantasy team.
McLaurin also gave a shoutout to rookie teammate Jahan Dotson, noting that the kid is already playing with a level of technical polish that usually takes years to develop.
Terry McLaurinJahan Dotson has advanced ball skills and tactics that most receivers don't learn until they are veterans
He definitely just has a natural ball skill ability. Like he makes some pretty easy catches that look really easy... he has a good feel of playing the receiver position as a rookie and how to catch the ball, how to position itself to use late hands and some of the tactics that you don't really learn until you're a vet.
To wrap up the week, Fyre Fest featured Billy Football admitting that Larry the Goldfish (version seven) has sadly passed away under his watch, while Jake Marsh survived a high-speed collision with a bee on his e-bike.
If the Commanders actually make that Super Bowl run PFT is manifesting, we’re going to need a live show from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
