PMT DB
PMT DB
Donnie Brasco on Mafia Secrets and Russell Wilson's Bears Tease
Big Cat is currently living in a world of passive-aggressive bliss because Russell Wilson finally acknowledged the Chicago Bears exist. After years of quarterback purgatory, just seeing the Bears on a list of approved trade destinations felt like a Super Bowl victory. Big Cat is already preparing for a total personality shift if the trade actually happens.
Big CatI will become the most religious, corny person in the world if Russell Wilson becomes a Bear
If Russell Wilson somehow, someway becomes a bear, I will buy into... I might just become the most religious person in the world. Just become unlimited. Yeah, just praise Jesus every single day. I will tweet about the corniest sayings, everything. I'll be a Mr. Unlimited.
PFT isn't quite as optimistic about the move, suggesting that Wilson might just be using the Bears' desperation to help out his current team on the way out.
PFT CommenterRussell Wilson included the Bears on his trade list just to drive up his trade value for other teams
I think that he threw the Bears in there as kind of throwing a bone for the Seahawks because he knows that if the Bears are in the discussion, his trade value goes up. And so that means that other teams would be able to give a little bit more money.
While the Seattle drama unfolds, the situation in Houston looks significantly bleaker. Deshaun Watson is reportedly refusing to play for the Texans, and Big Cat thinks the organizational dysfunction has reached a point where retirement might be the only sane option left for a franchise quarterback.
Big CatDeshaun Watson should retire because the Texans are a franchise that can drive a player to that
I would love to see a player just be like, I truly hate them so much. I will retire. If any franchise is able to do that to a person, it would be the Houston Texans.
The Real Donnie Brasco
Former FBI agent Joe Pistone joined the show to discuss his legendary five-year undercover stint in the Bonanno crime family. It’s a surreal conversation because Joe is still in witness protection, calling in from an undisclosed location on the East Coast while wearing sunglasses. He broke down the reality of the mob versus the Hollywood version, including the terrifying moment he was given a contract to kill another person to prove his loyalty.
Joe explained the strict hierarchy of the Mafia, where you can't even insult a made guy or touch them without facing a death sentence. He also touched on the current state of the mob, noting that while they still exist, they’ve lost their grip on the major unions and politicians that once made them a shadow government.
March Madness and Investment Tips
With the tournament approaching, the conversation shifted to the blue bloods. PFT is firmly back on his Roy Williams pedestal following a North Carolina loss that he somehow spun into a coaching victory.
PFT CommenterRoy Williams is a better coach than Coach K
And all you haters out there that told me I was an idiot when I said Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K, he doesn't get the shine, this is just another market in my favor on this.
The guys also discussed the new NCAA COVID protocols, leading to a high-stakes wager involving potential feline ownership. Jake Marsh is convinced the selection committee is just waiting for an excuse to sneak a certain team back into the top of the bracket.
Jake MarshDuke will replace a top team as a 1-seed in the NCAA tournament if there is a COVID outbreak
They just announced that there are going to be replacement teams with COVID. The first four teams out are going to be on standby. God forbid Gonzaga, Baylor, Michigan have COVID outbreak. Duke... replaces them as the one seed. That's what's going to happen. They're not going to shift around.
PFT CommenterI will get a cat if Duke wins the NCAA championship
If Duke wins the championship, I'll get a cat... Done. One cat between [Big Cat and I]. It can be a barn cat.
Not to be outdone by Big Cat's NBA Top Shot obsession, Hank brought two new "investment" ideas to the table. First, he wants to go all-in on the professional disc golf market after seeing the massive contracts being handed out to guys like Paul McBeth. He’s ready to start "banging chains" and selling merch for the "frother" community.
HankDisc Golf is a massive growth market that we can get in on the ground floor of
There is a new sport that's blowing up. And I think we can get it on the ground floor and make a lot of money. This dude, Paul McBeth. Today, signed a 10-year, $10 million contract extension to play disc golf. His signature line sold so many. There's such a huge market there.
His second idea, born from a night of drinking, was a booze-themed version of the show *Chopped*. Billy Football countered with his own tech-startup idea involving the most intense fitness subculture on the planet.
Billy FootballThere should be a dating app specifically for people obsessed with Peloton
All these Peloton people are so obsessed with Peloton. Everyone's just simping for their instructors. So why don't you just make a dating app for all these dudes who get [obsessed].
Fyre Fest of the Week
Hank’s Fyre Fest involved the rebranding of a childhood icon, as Hasbro decided to drop the "Mr." from Potato Head. Hank is taking it personally, claiming they "neutered" his boy.
HankRebranding Mr. Potato Head to 'Potato Head' is neutering the toy
They changed him today. They massacred my boy. Hasbro is... they neutered him. Yeah, they're giving him a spud, a gender-neutral new name. Just Potato Head.
PFT is dealing with a much more physical Fyre Fest: kidney stones. After attempting a healthy lifestyle change, he’s convinced that his commitment to greens actually betrayed his internal organs.
PFT CommenterEating salads for a week caused my kidney stones
Bottom line is no more salads. I fucked up by eating salads for a week and now look at me. I'm passing a kidney stone... My inside is like the Infinity Stones.
Jake Marsh rounded things out by declaring war on the personal hygiene industry. He’s convinced that nobody actually uses an entire tube of Chapstick, making it a recurring tax on the American public.
Jake MarshChapstick is one of the biggest scams in America
I present to you one of the biggest scams in America. Chapstick. I keep losing mine. It is impossible to finish a stick. You have to buy a new one every week. Do you know anyone who's ever finished a chapstick?
Drink more water and change your clocks this weekend so you don't end up like Billy with wrinkled pants and no concept of time.
